looking for signs

”i’m probably doing it for attention” after not telling a living soul

Like say what you want about "bad queer representation", but this was the song that made me openly and happily accept that I was bisexual. To see him up there Black and beautiful, making music that I love, absolutely killing it? Yeah. You couldn't tell me shit. This man made me proud to be out. "This will make them think we're evil for being gay" hey newsflash dawg-

Not generally into this genre of music but I remember being absolutely delighted and floored by this music video and honestly loving the song. And then I posted it to an alternative facebook group of goths/queers/weirdos who basically had spent the past ten years online talking about decadence, queer subversion, repurposing religious imagery, etc., basically everything this video has, and they... were really fucking weird about it. Like it absolutely shocked me. Sure it's "popular music" but there had been plenty of times we'd discussed when something queer and fabulous broke containment and made it to the mainstream and celebrated that. I still can't account for the reaction but I do think about it from time to time.

not doomed by the narrative but saved by the narrative. yeah i know you'd rather die than keep suffering but the story doesn't actually care what you want. you have to keep going, even when it hurts. even being erased from existence won't stop you from being salvaged from the wreckage of un-being. get up. keep pushing. keep bleeding. keep living.

the Cc in emails stands for Cuck chair

coworker who has shot me with a water pistol twice today asked me “did you ever watch k-pop demon hunters,” i said “no,” he said, “do you watch Anything,” i looked up towards the ceiling briefly before looking back at him & saying, “no,” he said, “all i can picture, is you, in a corner of a room, staring at a wall,” i said, “yeah”

straight up 'unforchin it'. and by 'it', haha, well. let's justr say. my circumstants

this is a hammer in my pocket actually But i am always happy to see you