"those...snowballs.. do you still have them?"

wc: 880 gn reader, dissociation, hurt/comfort

Something feels wrong, but you just can't quite put your finger on it. You're close to tearing your hair out at the sensation, your body filled with adrenaline for an unknown reason that just won't fade.

You thought things were finally going fine for once, but it only takes a moment for that good inertia to flip and send you spiraling. You don't even know what it was.

Sylus told you to find him when this happens. ... You can't remember if Sylus is supposed to be home. Is he out on a deal?

Which room does he hang out in the most again?

Where did you leave your phone?

…

Frustrated at the information you need so easily slipping out of your grasp, the only thing left for you to do is get out of here.

And so you do. You set out into the hallway, disoriented and barely recognizing what should have felt like home. You're too dizzy with unease, your ears ringing, unable to orient yourself in the colossal mansion that feels more akin to a maze. You clutch at your sleeves as you wrap your arms around yourself, trying to calm a racing mind that just won't listen to logic.

You slump against the wall of the hallway after a few minutes of searching, your head spinning and your heart picking up speed in your chest. What's wrong with you? What's going on? Where is Sylus?

"Sy," you call out softly, your eyes blurring with tears. "Sylus? R'you there?"

You're met with silence. Of course, stupid, stupid, he wouldn't hear you in this giant house. You must look really foolish, calling out to no one. You press the heels of your palms into your dampening eyes, letting out a little whimper followed by a soft hiccup.

You sink down the wall, your knees against your chest, and your torso slumped against them. You should've just stayed in your room. You resign yourself to your fate of sleeping against the wall tonight, since you doubt you can get up.

... Though, not much time passes before a voice pierces the fog surrounding your mind. You look up, your vision blurry, and are met with concerned red eyes and soft grey hair, the figure slightly out of breath. He's never out of breath.

"There you are," Sylus murmurs once your eyes focus on him, relief softening his features. "Sweetheart, what happened?" His breath hitches slightly when he sees the wetness in your eyes and the wobble in your lip. "Oh, shhh, it's alright. You don't have to tell me now. Come here."

"Sylus," You sniffle, reaching up for him and allowing him to pull you up into his arms. You hide in the crook of his neck, squeezing your eyes shut and blocking out the world around you. "My head hurts,"

Sylus hums in response, holding you steady against him to avoid jostling you too much as he begins to walk. "I'll make sure to grab you some pain medication. Have you eaten?" When you shake your head no, he doesn't scold you; he just holds you a bit tighter against his chest. "Some food too, then."

You're not sure how long it takes, but you eventually feel him shift you in his grasp, sitting down with you safely cradled in his lap. You feel his thumb brush against your cheek in an attempt to coax you from his neck, but you shake your head no, tightly wrapping your arms around his waist to ensure that you stay right where you are.

"I feel really dizzy," you mumble against his skin, the soft, familiar texture comforting against your lips. You clench the fabric of his sweater in your fists, trying to steady yourself. "Got lost in our own home, Sy, I don't know what's wrong with me… Everything feels so far away except for you."

"Focus on me, then." You feel the vibration of his voice in his chest against yours, his arms adjusting to hold you more firmly against him as he contemplates his next words. One of his hands is pressed against the middle of your back, underneath your shirt, the other against the base of your neck. You rise and fall with his broad ribcage as he breathes slowly, his exhales brushing against your hair. You let yourself melt into him, your hands relaxing their hold on his shirt.

You can't feel anything, but maybe that's okay for now. Maybe this faraway, empty feeling is okay, since you have someone to ground you. Someone to hold your string, so you don't float too far into the atmosphere. You trust Sylus; you know he won't ever let you go.

"Okay," you whisper, pliant in his hold. "I will,"

He hums, satisfied, and you let your mind go until all you can feel is his touch, his body against yours, the soft sound of his breaths, his thumb slowly rubbing back and forth against the skin of your back.

"Sleepy?" he asks quietly, and you nod, only just realizing it. Now that you're relaxed, your mind can finally recognize how truly exhausted you are. "Rest, sweetie. I'm not going anywhere. We'll still be here when you wake up."

tags: zayne x reader, fluff

Zayne was never the type of person to show his affection openly towards you in public. Sometimes, his hands would secretly find their way to hold yours during a gathering, his thumb brushing against your knuckles, before pulling away when another person approaches to converse with the two of you. Other times, when he is presenting his research to an audience, he immediately seeks your presence, and when his gaze meets your eyes, it is as if the two of you had a telepathic communication, telling each other "Hi," using your eyes and minds. 

You, on the other hand, were never bothered by Zayne's subtle ways of showing affection in public, because you have seen how his gestures become a little louder when you are both on a date, or simply spending time with each other. 

For instance, like peeling your food. 

It started so naturally that you couldn't even remember when it became a habit.

The first time had been at a seafood restaurant, where a handful of shrimp sat between the two of you, the steam still rising from the freshly cooked seafood. 

You stood up from your seat. "Ah, I forgot. I'll wash my hands first." 

But when you came back, as your eyes landed on the table, some of the shrimp had already been peeled, with their shell discarded and tails removed. 

As you sat at the table, every deshelled shrimp found its way on your plate instead of his. 

"Um, Zayne, aren't you going to eat?" You asked.

"I will."

"But you've put five of them on my plate already."

"... they'll get cold." 

You opened your mouth to argue, but he simply nudged your plate a little closer.

"Eat," he said, not leaving any room for arguments.

So you did. And only after you were halfway through your meal did he finally start peeling one for himself.

Then came oranges.

"There are oranges in the kitchen. Our neighbor gave us some as gratitude for assisting them the other day," he said, standing in the doorway. 

"Really? Ooh, that sounds delicious. I'll be there in a few minutes. I'll just finish this." You continued tapping, faster than usual. A few minutes later, you had already forgotten about it because you were preoccupied with work. 

However, you heard a knock on your door, and Zayne came inside with a plate with peeled oranges sitting on top of it. And not to mention, there were tiny slices in the middle, as if the seed was already removed.

"Zayne..." You turned your chair to look at him as he placed the plate on your table. "Thank you. I'm sorry, I was too focused." 

"Oranges are rich in Vitamin C," He took the water jug from the table and poured water into your empty glass. "Vitamin C will help regulate your body's response to stress." He then handed you the glass of water. "Consider it preventive care." 

And the list grew longer after that. 

Hard-boiled eggs, mangoes, and even pomegranates, which you insisted he didn't have to prepare because they took forever. 

"Zayne. I swear, you don't have to. These take forever, you know," you sighed, watching him tediously slice the pomegranate, standing on the side of the kitchen counter.

"You worry too much," he replied without looking up. "Compared to surgery, this hardly requires any effort." 

You let out a small laugh. "Why did you even buy this...?" You rubbed your forehead before smiling. "Still, thank you. I've been craving this like forever."

He glanced at you briefly before returning his attention to the fruit.

"I figured. You watched three different videos of people eating pomegranates the other day," he answered matter-of-factly. "I assumed it wasn't a coincidence."

Heat rushed to your cheeks, and your heart beat fast. You walked towards him and wrapped your arms around his waist from behind. 

"If you keep doing this, I might get used to it and ask you to peel the fruits every time I want to eat one," you teased, nuzzling your face against his back. 

He placed the pomegranate on the plate and turned around to face you. "If so, then I'll do it. As long as it pleases you." 

There was no hint of annoyance in his voice, nor a sigh to let you know that he was inconvenienced. 

If a fish had too many bones, your fillet somehow ended up being deboned before it reached your plate. 

If your drink came with an unopened straw, he would unwrap it while listening to your stories. 

And even if you decided to stop peeling fruits for the rest of your life, he would be the one peeling them for you. 

To the eyes of others, Zayne seemed cold. But never in yours. Because with Zayne, you found love in deshelled shrimp, you found love in peeled oranges, and you found love in the hands that worked tirelessly every day, but never grew tired of taking care of you, even in the smallest ways.

a/n: sorry if y'all are allergic to any of the foods mentioned above! also, i need a zayne in my life tbh. anyways, there will be another zayne oneshot after this, but it'll take a while for me to write it. 

this fic just popped into my head yesterday afternoon, and i couldn't stop thinking about it. sorry by the way, i haven't had the time to draft a masterlist post, but i'll do it as soon as i can.

Drew this a few days ago when it was snowing🌨️