hii this is my sideblog for love and deepspace!
i post/reblog nsfw so this blog is 18+, mdnf please!
i mainly write hurt/comfort & fluff!
send whatever you want in my ask box!
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more info
i'm fine with minors interacting with my sfw stuff! just don't follow me or interact with anything 18+ that i've posted, please!!
i am very anti-ai, so if you knowingly post or reblog something generated by it i will block you! i don't want to risk my creations being fed into ai. i also don't support reposting fanart without credit, so i block accounts that do that as well!
i strongly dislike the hypocrisy of writers that vocally disallow reposts of their writing while at the same time blatantly reposting artists' work without bothering to do the five minutes of research it takes to find the original source and include credit. the normalization of this practice is frustrating to me, so i sometimes comment the source of the artwork under posts that do this.
i write for gn or male submissive reader! i spend hours writing each blurb and also obsessively edit them after i post. i write as an escape, so everything i post is very self indulgent and has a lot of my yearning baked into it.
if you see anything wrong with my characterization of the guys or if i make a mistake while writing them, let me know!!
if you send a request, i'll fill it eventually! my writing just relies heavily on random bursts of inspiration so you'll be waiting probably a month+ for me to finish it haha. i put a lot of myself into everything i write, so i can't just do something casual off the dome. i only know sylus, caleb, and zayne well enough to write for them.
i will not write fem reader, dom reader, crackfics, or anything relating to pregnancy and children! there are many other talented writers who do though, so send your request their way!! if your fem!reader request would still work as gender neutral, i'll just change that part while writing.
i'm infp-t and 4w5, if that's something normal to put here! i also want to make friends, so if you're also interested, shoot me a dm!! (pleaseee!)
my main blog is @nick-spiegel , so if you see that one liking stuff, that's me :) (please don't mention this lads blog there though!! i'm shyy)
tags guide:
#my thoughts - posts about the lads guys
#talk - more personal stuff
#asks - asks people sent me
#asks i sent - asks i've sent other people
#sylus, #caleb, #zayne - individual LI tags
#nsft - my nsfw posts
#recs - my favorite fics by other people
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đ caleb coming over to help you with executive dysfunction!!! (and even if you're having a rough day, he'll still help with whatever you can accomplish as you are.)
he extends a hand towards you, where you're curled up in bed, wiggling his fingers a bit and joking about his arm getting tired. you always end up taking his hand, allowing him to help pull you up and wrap an arm around your shoulders to guide you towards the bathroom.
even if you whine a bit and complain that you don't want to, he turns on the water and helps you step out of your clothes while it heats up. he strips his own clothes quickly and steps into the shower with you, keeping a point of contact with you at all times so that you don't feel so lost and alone.
he helps you wash yourself off, rewarding you for accepting his help with a scalp massage that has you melting into him as he takes care of your hair, always careful to be gentle. he's especially soft when he washes your face, his thumbs rubbing the soap into your features. sometimes his smile slips while he does so, replaced by a slightly furrowed brow as his gaze travels across your face alongside his fingers. you can't help but wonder what he's thinking about.
while he washes your body, his touches are chaste and affectionate, his hands warm and so big against your smaller form. he always lets you help him wash if you want to, kneeling down to help you reach his head and always laughing a little at your pout as he does so.
after the shower, you're quickly bundled up in a fluffy towel before caleb shakes his hair out like a dog, giving you a goofy grin if you protest being caught in the blast range. he coaxes you to brush your teeth on your own at first, but if you still fight him, he has no problem with doing it for you.
once you're all freshened up and feeling clean again, he makes sure to give you a break, scooping you up and curling you against him. sometimes you each do your own activities, but sometimes you just lie against him, your head resting on his chest, your eyes closed as you listen to the vibration of his voice, softened as he reads you a story.
and once he prompts you to get up to do work alongside him, he's always careful to gauge your reaction. if you start to tense up, your fists balling up in your shirt as you avert your gaze from his, he softens. he doesn't make you beg if he can tell that work is the last thing you want to do. he'd never make you beg, not for something like this.
before you can speak up in your wobbly voice to ask him if you could please, please not start work yet, he smothers your cheeks in kisses, catching your delicate little tears.
"pipsqueak, hey, hey. you don't need to beg. you never need to beg with me. let's make today a rest day, okay? don't beat yourself up for it. i'll still be here tomorrow. i'm not goin' anywhere, you know that. you've got time. and i'm proud of you for pushing through everything to take my hand. you don't have to earn my love, baby. you'll always have it. no matter what."
instead of work, he's happy to help you rest without the guilty ache that normally accompanies it.
and the next day, when you're feeling more prepared to get things done, he rewards you with kisses and snacks every step of the way. he's so, so proud of you for pushing through the haze to grip his lifeline.
your latest post made me insane (/pos) the ides of wanting to run and possibly harm yourself but caleb refuses to let youâŚ. dream come true icl
if it also escalated to throwing things and hitting, do u think caleb would sit and take it? like he would let you hit at his chest, or throw things around until you feel better? or until you curl into a ball on the floor so he can scoop you up in his armsâŚ
srry i am very rabid about the way u portray him u do an amazing job and i always look forward to your work whenever it pops on my feed thank u for all yr writing its a very bit comfort for me đđЎ
[TW: self harm] (nothing graphic!)
ahhh thank you soso much, i'm really glad you can find comfort in my work!!!! <3333
i love it when caleb is obsessively caring! i personally find it comforting even if it is a bit toxic hahah.
here is the original post nonnie is referring to!!!
i love the idea of a controlling caleb taking charge when you're completely broken down like that, unable to think rationally and only able to focus on the urge to harm yourself. i've been in a state like that a few times and it would have been so nice to have someone to fight against, someone who won't be hurt if you struggle in his grasp or kick him or try to push him away. just getting all of that excess energy and anxiety out of your muscles until you can slump into his waiting arms, completely spent. and he'd take care of you so kindly and gently afterwards, too!!!
i think caleb would let you indulge yourself, but he would keep it controlled. you can hit him as much as you want, but he won't let you hurt yourself. he can easily grab your wrists to hold you in place, but if his touch makes things worse, he'll let you have time alone. he'll definitely be keeping an eye on you the whole time though. if he catches you attempting anything he doesn't like, he'll pause you in midair with his evol so he can walk over and take things into his own hands.
he keeps you away from sharp objects and anything you could use to make a reckless decision: alcohol, medications, utensils, glass, etc. until he's sure you're in your right mind again, he'll be feeding you your medications, and he'll stick by your side while you eat the food he makes you. he's very strict with supervision, but ultimately more lenient than a hospital setting would be. you just need to let him take care of everything for a little while! :)
i don't think he'd let you throw things around and break them, because he knows you'll likely regret doing so once you're more settled. it's easy for him to catch them before they hit the ground with his evol, though, so if you're dead set on throwing around a bunch of objects, he's patient enough to wait it out and keep everything from breaking while you let off steam.
ultimately, he knows you're not yourself, and disregards everything unkind that comes out of your mouth. i think even if it is genuine, he'll push it aside with the rest of what you said anyway, and his chip probably makes it easier for him to do so. safe to say, you can push his buttons as much as you want, but he won't push back.
Iâll be honest, Iâll give Sylus my phone and computer not because I trust him but because I figured he already hacked into them like at the beginning of the relationship just to see if thereâs any dirt on me in case I betray him or something. Or maybe he just wanted to figure out all my dark secrets. Itâs like the equivalent of dating a professional hacker, they not asking for your password cause they donât know, they giving you the illusion of privacy when they already know everything about you stored on your phone cause it has the weakest firewalls and privacy screens they ever got past.
Like any dark or smutty fics he finds on my phone, thatâs between him and god cause all I can say is âbuddy what you find on the dark web stays in the dark web, itâs your choice to peek at the horrors lurking on my tumblr.â
for anyone wondering, here is the post the ask is referring to!
HI sorry i'm responding to this ask incredibly late buut i think sylus isn't the type of person to do stuff like this!!! it's completely understandable if you go into a relationship with him being a little suspicious, given that he definitely has a file on you with your medical records and official details like that, maybe a few pages of your search history he got from data brokers, and spots you tend to hang out from mephisto trailing you.
but i think he likely would have gotten this information before he met you, so that he could be prepared to make sure there isn't anything you can spring on him, especially if you're mc!reader. while he does take threats a bit less seriously than he should, in his position, everything can be a potential risk. i think part of his hoard of wealth is also a 'hoard of information', because that can be equally if not more valuable than material wealth.
while he's getting to know you, i don't think he would invade your privacy by looking through your phone or your accounts. the information he finds there likely wouldn't give very much value to him in terms of verifying your harmlessness. it's the 80/20 rule, where his initial search is the 20% of effort that grants him basically everything he needs to know. looking through your phone and laptop would be a lot more effort for very little reward other than sating his curiosity.
besides, i believe sylus likes to be surprised. he dislikes when his life gets too boring or monotonous, and you bring that surprise and entertainment that he's always looking for. he also likes to earn things rather than just taking them for himself, and the process of earning your trust to the point that you're showing him your secret bookmarks voluntarily would be something he would greatly enjoy.
he'd love watching the flustered look on your face as you have to explain your fantasies to him in great detail. he'd definitely pretend to misunderstand something if you're purposely vague, making you spell out every little bit. his stupid smirk...gawddd... id have to reach up to cover his eyes so he can't look at me like that while i'm telling him something so embarrassing!!!!! grrrrr sylus grrrrrrrrr im biting him
also, i think that even if you are dating a professional hacker, you should still expect human decency and respect from them!!!! if they're looking through your online history without your permission, that's a giant red flag, since they're blatantly disrespecting your boundaries for their own gain. it's the equivalent of telling your s/o not to look through your stuff, but them going and rummaging through your closet while you're away anyway. just because they can, doesn't mean they should!
kitty reader hopping up onto sylus's bed while he's relaxing or asleep and curling up on his chest because it's warm, like a ray of sunshine or a load of laundry straight from the dryer!!! dragon warmth đââď¸đââď¸đââď¸
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đŚâ⏠scenario i thought of!!! insomnia caused by sylus leaving for work :(
you've been living with sylus for a few months now, and while your sleep schedules don't exactly line up all the time, you've grown used to falling asleep with him by your side. some nights he merely holds your hand for a little while before he has to leave for work, but somehow, just his presence and a little bit of touch is enough to help you relax enough to fall asleep. you no longer need the previous sleep-aid methods you would use, and your newfound lack of nightmares helps you get higher quality sleep as well.
until one night, he has to go on a business trip for a few days that he can't get out of. you would normally take off work to go with him, but you're in the middle of an important project that you can't leave. you pout and whine when you learn of the news, but he effectively consoles you with lots of kisses until you're assured that everything will be okay.
but... it isn't. sylus is frequently in areas with no service or extremely spotty connection, so you're unable to stay in contact with him as often as you'd like. you quickly realize how big of a difference his presence made with your insomnia. you're anxious and on edge without him there to soothe your worries, as well as struggling with the almost nauseating ache of missing him so badly.
(also thinking about how maybe mc!reader's body could be instinctually remembering how it felt to lose him all those years ago... poor reader is getting hit with so much whiplash all at once)
you try your absolute hardest to sleep, but nothing works, even your old methods. suddenly being deprived of the safety sylus brought with him into your life has an awful effect on your concentration. even melatonin didn't work too well, as you had to keep your body from fighting it off, as well as deal with the vivid nightmares it caused. you sleep fitfully and only emerge from the struggle with a few measly hours.
you decide not to tell him, since the lack of consistency with your ability to communicate would make it difficult for him to help, and you could tell he's been having a rough time as well.
on the last day of his trip, sylus manages to finish everything early, and opts to return home as soon as he can instead of getting a night's rest first. he takes his private jet back and rushes to see you as quickly as he can. and once he sees the state you're in, he's glad he did.
his heart aches. you're curled up in bed with bags under your red-rimed eyes, dizzy from the amount of melatonin you had taken to try and fall asleep. you wrapped one of his favorite shirts around a pillow and were clinging to it tightly in the hopes that it might grant you solace from your struggles. you look so fragile like this, sad and scared and small.
when you see him enter, your expression lights up as you crawl over on the bed to greet him, woozy and extra clingy as a result of the medication. he's equal parts concerned and amused. he's never seen you this delirious before, and it's incredibly cute, especially how you're so desperate for his attention and affection, but he can't help but feel worried when you're falling all over him like this.
he doesn't even bother to change into his pajamas as he slides into bed beside you, holding you close and humming you a lullaby as he strokes a hand up and down your back. within just a few minutes, you're fast asleep, breathing deeply with your head laid on his chest. he watches you sleep for a long while, playing with your hair while cradling you in his arms protectively.
he decides that if anyone tries to make him leave you to sleep alone again, he'll refuse. no business meeting is important enough that he'd risk seeing you miserable like this again.
can I tell you why I love your writing? Iâm a stranger on the internet and probably not even on the same continent as you. but you just have a way of writing mental health so well that it feels like weâre going through the same things and are being comforted by the same things. It is like being wrapped in a warm blanket.
I really hope things get better for you but I am kinda glad weâre kinda going through it together (meant in the least parasocial way possible lol)
ahhh thank you so much, this means so much to me and i'm soso glad my fics make you feel this way!
i try to keep my fics as accurate to my experience as possible, and sometimes what i have to do is just wait until i'm feeling that kind of pain again to more effectively describe it in words if my memories of it aren't clear enough. what's most important to me is describing how i feel and how i believe things would feel the best i can, to more effectively immerse myself in it while writing and record it for rereading if i ever need to.
(more yapfest under the cut!! haha)
i haven't experienced the type of physical comfort i write most often, so i'm not sure how accurate it really is! but writing is often a form of escape for me when i'm struggling with my mental health, and being able to daydream about not being so alone helps me feel a little comforted, even if it's not real. i can curate the experience for myself and feel the comfort i yearn for most if i can get deep enough into the immersion i feel while writing.
i have adhd, so daydreaming on its own is difficult for me, and i need the added focus that writing or reading requires to help me concentrate on my thoughts and really feel like i'm there. i often lose my place and loop the same moment over and over while i'm daydreaming alone, or my brain starts jumping to random topics or making a character's head giant for no reason. it's been like that since i was a kid hahah :')
but an added bonus of writing it down is that i can share it with everyone here and get ideas and feedback in return!!! it brings me a bit of solace when others relate to my works, it helps me realize that i'm not so alone in my struggles, even though i feel so lonely all the time. it also makes me happy to know that my fics can bring a little bit of comfort to others too!!!
i used to reread the same few fics over and over for comfort, and i would often struggle to find new comfort fics for a specific problem that was causing me pain. i'd try so many specific tumblr searches or ao3 tags to look for them and it was really disappointing when i had no luck. i've heard from a few people that my fics bring the sort of comfort to them that i was looking for so desperately, and i feel honored and really glad!!
anyway, long story short, thank you so much for reading and i hope things get better for you too!!! hopefully someday we'll all be able to experience the type of comfort we write and read about <333
ngl, if I sit on Sylus' like monologue to a sleeping MC in Shared Bliss for too long- I will in fact fucking implode. Like, as much as I love softer Sylus, there's something about hearing him acknowledge the like more monstrous/fiendish urges he has. Because the thing about Sylus is between his own wants, his draconic nature, and the aether core- he wants to be the biggest red flag, he wants to be the yandere of this story. If he fully gave into who he "wants" to be, MC would be locked in his dragon hoarde- his treasure tucked away where they can never leave, where he can just take care of them forever, they'd want for nothing but their freedom.
But he wants MC to choose him more than he wants to own them, he wants MC to be happy more than he wants to hoarde them. He never wants MC to be disgusted by him again, he's a monster but he never wants to be monstrous to them. So, he fights the very nature of his being, because being loved by them matters more- he talks so much about desires, indulging them, begs MC to never hold back on simply taking what they want (always hoping it's him) but he is constantly smothering down this core desire of his own because while it is his very nature to indulge and gorge and take- his love and want for MC and their happiness will always come first.
thinking about this makes me cry a lil... (nsfw! no smut tho)
i mostly have experience with men who just take and take and take with no regard for their partners' wellbeing or happiness. taking advantage of someone younger and more desperate for approval and attention. who completely ghost without a second thought if you can't give them what they want. never knowing whether they value me as a person and find me attractive or whether they just like my physique and what's between my legs.
cautiously going into a relationship with sylus with a mindset that all men you encounter will be like this, and being proven wrong every time.
when you first get together and you tell him you want to take things slow, he tells you he'll move as slowly as you want without a second thought. he doesn't push you for sex or even touch in general, with your first few dates feeling more like hanging out with a friend. both of you laugh and have a good time in each other's company, like it's always been. If you ever try to apologize for talking too much or being too much, he assures you that he's listening and enjoying his time with you.
the entire time you're with him, you're just waiting for the other shoe to drop. he's a young, incredibly wealthy mafia boss who can have anyone he wants, he'll get bored of waiting for you eventually. even if he's chivalrous and patient, he's still a man, and men have needs.
but he never does. he waits for you every single time. he doesn't want to assume how slow you need to take things, and to him, the best way to make sure he's doing right by you is to wait for your sign. if you're nervous, he prompts you to take what you want, but he never initiates.
when you go out on a date with him in public, you find yourself sneaking glances at his hands, trying to work up the courage to reach for them. after about twenty minutes of watching you yearn, sylus offers you his hand, which you happily accept. he's over the moon, walking on clouds for the rest of the day just from holding hands with you for a little while.
the first time you're intimate with him, things go a little sideways, but the way he handles it would personally solidify my trust in him as a partner and a person.
you kiss him for a long while, with your kisses slowly getting hungrier and hungrier as time goes on. you're using the impulsive mindset that hunger grants you to push away your self consciousness and anxiety, pushing yourself further than you ever have before. you'll no longer have to worry about disappointing him once you get past this first hurdle. as long as you satisfy him this one time, you'll be free of debt for everything he does for you. he's achingly hard and throbbing in his pants, and you can feel it beneath you when you grind down.
you moan into his lips and guide his hand down between your legs, your head spinning with desire, but his hand suddenly goes still, no longer pliant. you pull back to check his expression, and instead of finding need that matches yours, you find tender concern.
in that moment, he's holding back the crushing weight of his desire and his aether core, grasping at control to make sure you're alright. denying himself what his very nature is starving for. he doesn't show it externally, but the weight of it very nearly overwhelms him. the urge to take, take, take what you're freely and openly offering him. but he does, because your wellbeing supersedes any of his own desires.
he pulls you back from the cliff you were determined to throw yourself off for his benefit. he holds your gaze, and speaks in the softest, kindest tone you've ever heard escape his lips:
"are you sure you want to continue?"
when you try to push aside his concern and lean back into him, he blocks your lips with his free hand, studying your face with a slight furrow in his brow. he identifies something there you don't understand, and when he moves his hand to slowly swipe a thumb beneath your eye, you realize you're crying.
you can feel his hardness beneath you, throbbing in a way that must be painful. but he seemingly ignores it with ease, pulling you to lay against his chest and rubbing your back slowly as you sob. you eventually fall asleep there, exhausted from letting out so much emotion and confessing to him all of your deeply held fears. his urges go unsated, but gaining mutual trust and understanding, prioritizing you, brings him so much more happiness than sexual gratification ever could.
just the idea that a man that not only has the urges that regular men do, but something more, and he still chooses you over sating them. proving so fully that he's not there to take advantage of you, he hasn't just been waiting for a chance to get in your pants.
he's such a consent king it genuinely makes me want to cry...mnmbdgjf... i ilove him so muchhh ouuhh
Dialogue taken straight from his tete-a-tete introduction with some stuff removed for the story
Warnings: hurt/comfort, domestic fluff, established relationship, death, cemetery, anxiety, lies of omission, cuddling, kissing, crying
Word Count: 1,564
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âSy?â
âHm? What is it, sweetie?â
You play with his fingers where they lay over your stomach. His body is sculpted to fit perfectly along your back, strong arms holding you securely, protectively, as youâre just waking up and heâs supposed to be going to bed.
You bite your lip, grateful that he canât see your face or the warring thoughts blatantly expressed on it. âWould you want to meet my parents?â
He presses closer - if such a thing is even possible - tucking his face into your shoulder where he plants lazy kisses. âWhy are you asking me about this now?â
âWell, Tara got a new boyfriend and she was telling me about how important meeting the parents can be,â you admit slowly. Sheâd gushed about it for an entire lunch break, in fact. Rambling on and on about how meeting his parents went, and how her parents just love him, and how big of a step it is in a relationship. âThe most important step!â sheâd emphasized. It weighed on your mind since. âAnd I just thought⌠maybe youâd want to meet mine?â
Thereâs no way he doesnât hear your heart racing in your chest. Itâs impossible for him to miss the nervousness in your fiddling with his fingers, or the subconscious way you stretch out your legs to tangle with his. But if he does notice any of it, he says nothing.
He kisses over your pulse, intertwines your fingers, and hooks his leg over your hip, as though this is nothing more than a lazy Sunday morning.
âIâd be honored to meet them,â he whispers, soft and tender in a voice reserved just for you.
âToday?â
He chuckles warmly. âIf thatâs what you want, sure.â
You squeeze his hand, then pull it tighter around you, holding it to your chest like a plushie youâve decided to cuddle. âYou should get some sleep, first. We can visit them for lunch.â
âOh? Are they already expecting me?â
âNo⌠but they never mind visitors.â
He hums, a low sound that rumbles in his chest, and buries his face into your warm skin. âWhatever you say, kittenâŚâ
His snores fill the air a moment later.
-
Sylus takes meeting your parents more seriously than you thought he would. He took a shower before you, and when you came out, he was meticulously going through his wardrobe to find the perfect outfit. Nothing too flashy, but nothing too casual - something suited for setting up a good first impression. A towel is still around his shoulders, hair dripping onto it in his focus. It brings some much needed levity into your aching heart.
âSit down,â you chide him. He does so with a knowing smirk, but it droops back into a frown as he thinks on his options.
âWhich shirt do you think?â he asks. You fluff the towel over his hair, squeezing out the water soaked into the thicker sections of his locks. Once itâs dried enough, you comb your fingers through his hair to brush it out. Heâll style it himself, of course, but you love feeling it so wild and unrestrained like this.
You look up at the two shirts hanging up side by side in the closet. His collared-shirt red-sweater combo on one side, or his simple white shirt. Both are casual, put together. A softer appearance compared to his usual black attire. He could choose either - theyâre perfect for coming off as disarming and charming without flaunting his wealth - but heâs asking you.
You hug him around his neck from behind. âWhatâs wrong?â he asks softly.
You shake your head. âNothing.â Still, you linger a moment longer before you pull away with a kiss to his cheek. âThe red one. Itâs my favorite.â
âThe red one it is.â
-
You offered to drive this time. Unusual, given his proclivity for driving you anywhere you could ever want to go, but you play it off as it being in Linkon, your territory. He teased you lightly, but passed over the keys without a fuss. If you wanted to be the one to drive him to meet your parents, thatâs your right.
After having to majorly adjust the driverâs side seat to account for your height, the drive itself is simple. Familiar. You know the way like Sylus knows his armories. Though, you know you canât play it off forever. In just a few short miles, the ruse will be up. You tap along the steering wheel. How much longer before he figures it out? Or, if he already knows, before he says something about it?
You pull the car into the gravel parking lot and cut the ignition. You shyly look to the passenger side. Sylus looks straight ahead through the windshield, brows pulled together in a frown.
âSweetieâŚâ
You get out of the car before he can say anything else. Before he can back out. Look at you like youâre crazy or like youâve betrayed him for keeping this a secret for so long. His door shuts a moment after yours. The small rocks shift under his nice shoes as he rounds the car. You donât look at his face as you take his hand in yours and lead him through the big wrought-iron gate.
Rows upon rows of headstones, statues, slabs cover the area. Carefully tended grass peeks up in the spaces between. A path is formed from foot-traffic alone, guiding you deeper into the cemetery like a gentle hand on your shoulder. You know the way by now.
The wind blows through, the birds chirp their songs, the noise of the cars is distant⌠Itâs peaceful. Sylus says nothing. You pretend to focus on the stones by your side to avoid looking at him.
You curse Tara for planting this idea in your head in the first place.
Soon enough, you slow to a stop in front of a wide headstone. Two names are engraved on it. Four dates. And a message. You picked it out just for them.
The silence grows unbearable. Hot. You wish you could sink into the ground, where hundreds of hands could hold and assure you. Where Sylus canât see the tension in your shoulders as you anticipate him leaving.
He squeezes your hand. For the first time since arriving, you look at him, watching as he kneels down in front of the granite stone. And⌠heâs smiling. The furrow in his brow is gone. He looks at ease.
âAre you their parents? Iâm Sylus. Iâm your childâs boyfriend,â he introduces himself. He says it all like heâs talking to them. Speaking directly to your parents just before an awkward family dinner. âI run a family-owned business that covers a range of services and offers various products. We deliver fruit and even sell state-of-the-art technology, for example. My business has been doing well, and I work with a lot of talented individuals. If youâre interested, Iâd be happy to discuss it in more detail another time.â
You slowly sink down to your knees beside him. You canât stop staring at his face.
âMy hobbies are very simple. I collect vinyl records, play the organ, and occasionally sing. According to your child, my singing isnât too bad.â He looks at you, shooting you a playful wink. Your vision starts to blur. He turns back to the stone.
âI live alone and I have a relatively flexible schedule. I stay at my base most of the time. Otherwise, Iâm in a hotel for business meetings or go to my private ranch when I need to unwind. I own several beautiful horses, and one of them has grown particularly fond of them. The two of them often frolic together at the ranch.â In that same soft voice reserved just for you, he says, âI like seeing them be carefree and happy.â
The first tears break free with a choked sound. He lets go of your hand to wrap his arm around your shoulders, drawing you into his side. You hug his waist tightly.
âWhile it might not be obvious at first glance, Iâm very good at taking care of people. Because of our time together, I developed new interests. I enjoy taking them to auctions and fashion shows.â He draws you in a little tighter, but his attention remains on the names before him. âI like seeing them shine. And their happiness is my happiness.
âAs for the futureâŚâ He speaks with conviction, as though trying to fully prove to your parents his worth as your boyfriend. âIâll always support them with whatever they want to do. Iâll also stand by their side without question.â
You press your face in his chest. He shifts on his knees to face you, wrapping his other arm around you in a full hug. He presses a gentle kiss to your head.
âHow did I do?â he whispers.
You sob. Itâs ugly and gross. Your chin wobbles and your face contorts as tears stream in an endless tirade, soaking into his sweater. His large hand rubs up and down your back patiently. Your voice cracks as you croak out, âThey wouldâve loved youâŚâ
He ducks his head down, pressing his cheek to yours. Sweet kisses brush away your tears. âIâm sure I would have loved them, too,â he assures. And you know he isnât lying. âJust breathe, sweetie. Iâve got you. Iâve got youâŚâ
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iâm gonna be embarrassed to send this but i need to tell u how much i love ur thoughts and all ur sylus works hdhfjdj ur honestly the best writer ever and i just wanna send u this cs i appreciate your works sososo much <33 never stop writing, i genuienly eat up everything u post every chance i get and sometimes it even gives me motivation to write for myself !! (that somno idea is still stuck in my head) HAHA iâve been meaning to send this for a while but i got hella nervous every time..!, but anyway!! thank u for ur service goat đââď¸đââď¸
omgomg THE wetforsylus!!!!!!! thank you so much!!!!! i was so excited when i got this ask please don't be embarrassed!!! i'm so glad you enjoy my works, it really means a lot and i'm super happy they can help motivate you to write too!!! i always notice when u like my fics and i get happy knowing you read them! :)))
alsoalso don't feel nervous at all!!!! i get nervous too and ive always wanted to be your friend but ive never reached out LSJKDF (is that super parasocial to say??!?! LMAO) i'm actually the biggest loser irl i just sit at home and think about fictional men all day LOLL
thank you sososo much for the kind ask and for reading my works!!!! YOU KEEP WRITING TOO!!! <3333
caleb is 10 when he realizes that he's a physical touch fiend. the rush he gets when his hand lingers on top of your skin after playing with you is like no other. when he presses into your side while you're reading, his thoughts always circle around one topic: you, you, you. when you would run into his room after a nightmare, caleb was ready to swoop you in his arms and hold you until you fell asleep. every response towards you was involuntary.
caleb is 15 when he realizes that teasing 13-year-old you becomes irresistible. when he holds up your book, pencil, or some other item in the air, he watches as you jump up and down to try and grab it back. he's grown a lot in three years; if he had to estimate, he's a whole head taller than you nowâ20cm at least.
when you throw yourself onto him in an attempt to get your stuff back, he falters. you're laying against him on the couch, shuffling and moving up and down over his body, and caleb's breath hitches. you're so close and right there.
he's going insane. you can't even stand up for five seconds before caleb pulls you down against him once more, saying something about retaliation or revenge while tickling you to death.
caleb is 20 when he's about to leave for the DAA. there's an air of silence around the house. you've trapped yourself in your room more often, stressing over your senior finals. at least, that's what you've been telling him.
"i'm sorry caleb, i really need to study for this test."
"oh! i totally forgot about that project i had due tonight. shit, i'm sorry caleb. we'll have another movie night soon, okay?"
he doesn't know if you're actually this busy or if you're actually ignoring him. all he does know is that he misses you. he wonders about how he could miss someone who was in the room across from him. you were so close, but so far.
when you found out he was leavingâthough you had a grin on your face while congratulating himâcaleb knew you were devastated. he wondered if you were secretly mad at him for leaving.
two weeks before his departure, he practically forces you to be around him. he laid down next to you like before. he stroked your hair while you napped on the couch. he teased you and picked you up so you could hit him and grab him like you used to. he always chose to put his arm around you during a movie. he dragged you by the hand all around the neighborhood. he needed to all of that again, a thousand times more.
but at 24, it seems like there may have been a wedge between the two of you. calls are more and more infrequent.
"sorry, space signal sucks," he'd type.
"sorry, i was busy with training!" you'd reply, 2 days later.
he thinks that he would do anything to go back to before. he hasn't felt you in months. he sees you only twice a year.
it's hard. it was excruciating during the first few weeks. not only was he dealing with bootcamp, but he always found himself looking to his side, thinking you'd be there with him. at night, you were there, right next to him in bed.
he imagined that you would whisper words of reassurance in his ear. you'd hold onto him like you used to, when you had nightmares, and wrap your legs between his. there were days where we stroked his necklace, wishing that it was your hand instead. what he would give to have you next to him.
all he wants is to be able to feel you again. he chastises his 10-year-old self for taking you for granted back then. he wants to feel the apples of your cheeks when he caresses your face. once,âwhen he was 13 (you, 11)âhe did that, and he thought you had a fever the way you warmed up. if he could, caleb would build a time machine to go back to that.
caleb is 25 when he is out of your life.
he thinks about you every day. it reminds him of when he was in bootcamp five years ago. it takes him back to when he was fifteen; you were on top of him, and his brain was fried to a crisp. caleb wonders if he's always been this way, because he can recall that at ten, you were still the only thing consuming his mind.
even during his arm repairs, you're there throughout all the pain.
when you discover his metal arm, all of caleb's instincts point to the door. he's spent so long trying to hide it from you: it's the constant long-sleeves (even though they made him incredibly uncomfortable), or making sure to only touch you with his left-hand (even though he wanted to pull you in with both hands).
but he stays. because it's you.
you freeze momentarily, listening to his writhes and moans of pain. caleb only notices you're there when he feels your hands brush his shoulder. he jolts back in surprise, and he sees you looming over him.
he stammers something, not even sure of what he said because you're here. you see him. you see it.
caleb's wanted this for so long. he wanted to see you again, in a state where you were both vulnerable, like old times. however, that moment probably wouldn't have come if he doesn't confess about this, so he relays the details.
you listen attentively, eyes wide with shock as caleb goes on. your hands wrap around his metal one, and he feels nothing. it's agonizing. he sees you examine him so gently. your fingers trace over bolts and plates of metal, lightly stroking up and down his arm. and caleb feels nothing.
how often has he dreamed of this? for you to be touching him again, so intimately and softly? he's stayed up countless nights wishing for you to be here, just so he can put his arms around you in a crushing embrace, only to be incapable of feeling you on one side of his body.
you pull away from his arm, asking if the fleet was accountable. when he doesn't say anything, he feels your weight lift off the bed and go towards the door.
whatever happens next is involuntary. he uses his flesh arm to pull you back, caging you between his forearm and his chest. there's no thought to it, no rationalization. it's just you and him. and he's been deprived of this for so long.
he breathes into the crevice of your neck, and he has half a mind to place his entire face there. he wants to breathe you in after being away from you for so long. no conversations, no contact, no touching. the last time he was this close to you was years ago. he needs this, caleb thinks.
the feel of you against his bare chest is something he cannot seem to describe. it's like he's his teenage (or even kid) self again, where he seems to short-circuit whenever he comes in contact with you. you're still small compared to him, but you fit perfectly like you did a decade ago.
he lets you go after he feels you trembling. you don't hesitate to place your hands on his waist and tackle him onto the bed. you catch him off-guard as you pin him beneath you, looking straight into his eyes.
"hold me," you plead, "with your right hand."
caleb lets out a shaky breath. there are voltages of electricity flowing through himâliterally and figuratively. his skin sparks alive when he feels you. will it be the same with the metal arm?
slowly, caleb raises his mechanical arm. he wraps it around you, and feels the movement of your back shift downwards. you released a breath you didn't know you were holding. caleb held his.
you wait patiently before caleb starts running his metal hand up and down your back. you watch him exhale as he continues. you press your forehead on his, and you breathe in tandem with him.
caleb is 25 when he discovers that he loves physical touch.
wow like i didn't expect this to get so long... but like here we are???
i think we need to start embracing touch-starved caleb in all of our fics. this man hasn't seen the love of his life in YEARS (infrequently, anyway) so i think once she touches him (like INTIMATELY) for the first time in years he goes a little cray.
also sorry the ending was rushed i wanted to get this over with bc i intented this to be like 500 words but obviously it got way longer than that. what can i say... this freak has dug into my brain.
đŚâ⏠Isn't this what you wished for? đď¸
< Intro | Chapter 1
Self aware Sylus x gn reader, hurt/comfort
CW: vomit, derealization, general sickness
wc: 1.7k
You slowly stir back into consciousness, a gooey exhaustion clinging to your entire body and weighing you down uncomfortably. A wave of motion sickness flows through you as you attempt to sit up, having to try multiple times in order to get your aching muscles to cooperate.
Your vision spins as you try to reorient yourself. Everything feels just slightly wrong, like a space you were once familiar with has been tampered with, all your belongings moved an inch out of place, causing your body's instinctual memory to falter and stumble over what once felt natural.
But, by far, the greatest discomfort comes from your heart. It aches, a deep, pulsing pain; and it thumps harder than it ever has in your life. Each beat jostles your whole body, and you slump over, your hands clasped over your chest as you tremble.
After a couple of deep breaths to hold the nausea at bay and attempt to calm yourself, you sit upright again, and your vision clears enough to be able to make out your surroundings.
You're in a large, intimidating room with gothic-style decor, dimly lit by flickering firelight that's dampened by walls painted completely black. Your aching body is gently cradled by silk sheets with the highest thread count you've ever felt. Something about this room tugs at the edges of your memory, but it slips away whenever you attempt to grasp at it. A canopy drapes above you, framing the view of a shadowy-looking city outside the large floor-to-ceiling windows, andâŚ
You startle as your somewhat delirious mind finally takes notice of the figure seated in front of you. There's a pitcher of water with two expensive-looking glasses set on a table behind him, as well as a bowl of fresh fruit. He's slumped over in a luxurious armchair, his head resting on his knuckles as he breathes deeply, fast asleep. That's- no way, this can't be right.
You check your hands â five fingers on both, no abnormalities. You're wearing your usual pajamas, and the details are all there, down to the smallest stain. This is too clear to be a dream. This hurts too much to be a dream. So what, a psychotic break? Are you going insane?
Intense pain blooms deep in your skull, and you cover your face, holding back a shuddering sob. Chills and shivers wrack your body, and it takes everything you have to keep yourself from crying out and waking the stranger in front of you. The stranger, because there's no way that's who you think it is. He's not real. You must be going insane; it hurts so badly. You bite down on your palm to keep yourself quiet, tasting iron as your unease builds even further.
You have to get out of here. You have to get out of here. Dizzy and delirious, you climb out of bed, nearly collapsing to the floor just from trying to stay standing. You unsteadily stumble forward on legs shaking from the effort of holding up your own body weight, singularly focused on moving forward. You've never felt this weak before.
With a great amount of effort, you reach the door to the bedroom, and luckily, the door's hinges don't squeak as you push it open. You're relieved to have something to lean on, bracing your shoulder against the wall as you force yourself to keep moving forward.
You're unsure of your goal as you mindlessly limp down the hallway, peeking past the open doors in hopes of finding something, anything. No luck. Not even a promising-looking potential hiding place. Acid bubbles up in your throat, and you choke on a cough, just barely swallowing it back down. Your throat burns as the liquid retreats, but you know it likely won't be gone for long.
A bathroom. You need a bathroom. Shivering as another wave of chills rolls through you, you keep moving forward. There would have likely been one attached to the bedroom you woke up in, but you're not going to risk heading back in there, not when there's some sort of doppelganger at your bedside.
A wave of pain originating from your heart forces you to your knees, and you gasp, your vision blurring with tears. You struggle back up to your feet, and you think you catch a glimpse of red, beady eyes glowing in your direction from a vantage point up above. But when you try for a second glance, they're gone.
The nausea in the back of your throat is rapidly worsening, and it's looking like you won't get to a bathroom in time. You stumble into a random room, looking for a garbage can, but there's none in your limited field of vision. Acting on instinct, you crawl under a table in the corner like a defeated dog, curling up as you try to hold back the inevitable.
The ringing in your ears grows louder as tears drip down your nose, hand pressed to your mouth. You're too drained to flinch when you feel cool fingers brushing your neck as they carefully gather up your hair, holding it out of the way as another hand gently pries yours from your mouth, nearly engulfing it as a thumb rubs slow circles on the back.
"It's alright. Just let it out, sweetheart. I've got you."
You sob, a hiccup quickly followed by a cough, then a violent retch as your body expels a thick, viscous, black goo onto the ground in front of you. You don't even have enough time to be horrified before more quickly follows, this time mixed with the contents of your stomach.
It tastes awful, leaving a lingering burn in your throat and your mouth, and the taste of what you can only imagine as rotten flesh. You cough up a few more mouthfuls before slumping forward, easily caught by the large hands that have handled you so delicately.
Your vision is spotty as your body is pulled forward, retrieving you from your hiding spot with the utmost care. Your mouth is carefully wiped with a silk handkerchief before you feel the figure lifting you with incredible ease, guiding your chest to lean against his own as he stands up. He must be very tall, you muse, as you're quite far off the ground.
He walks slowly, one arm beneath your thighs and the other rubbing circles into your back to keep you steady and attempt to mitigate the effects of motion sickness. You appreciate his efforts to keep you comfortable. Your throat still burns; you think it got into your sinuses, too. You sob softly into his shoulder. You can't stop shaking.
You lose focus for a little while, almost dozing off, but you're brought back by the soothing sensation of a warm washcloth gently cleaning your face, wiping away your dried tears and the leftover black residue around your lips and nose. You're sitting on the edge of a cold bathtub, with the man's hand still pressed to your back to keep you from toppling over.
A plastic cup is tapped to your mouth, accompanied by a soft command.
"Swish."
You do as he says, opening up for the liquid and swishing it around in your mouth. Once you're done, he guides you to lean over and spit it out into the tub, bringing you back to wipe your lips again. How did he know your favorite mouthwash� Lucky guess?
You're lifted again, and you lean into the man, burying your face in his chest for comfort. He smells nice; a small but very welcome distraction from your poor condition. You don't think you've ever felt closer to death than you do now. The deep, burning agony in your heart has begun to spread slowly through your veins, and your muscles now protest with a throbbing pain left from overexertion.
You're pulled from the grounding warmth of his chest yet again and delicately placed in the bed where you woke up, back in the embrace of its silken sheets, now soothingly cool against your feverish skin. You're propped up like a doll against slanted pillows, and the man sits in front of you, dipping the mattress. His hands press another cup to your lips, this one made of glass.
"Drink."
You doubt you could gather enough energy to raise your arms to grip his wrist, so you thoughtlessly comply, the water feeling heavenly against your irritated throat, clearing much of the remnants of black goop still clinging to the inside. You drain the whole glass in no time, and after he refills it, you drain another. You're about to ask for a third, but the man places the cup aside, opting to press the back of his hand to your forehead instead.
"You have an incredibly high feverâŚ" He murmurs, concern laced in his tone. "We need to see how that water settles first, then I can give you some more."
You turn away from him, your gaze fixing instead on your hands. Your skin looks much greyer than it should. But you can't bring yourself to care as exhaustion begins to tug insistently at your mind, urging you to relinquish your feeble grip on consciousness. You almost do, but you're interrupted again by the man's voice.
"Do you remember who I am?"
You blink a few times, forcing your eyes to focus in order to make contact with the stranger's ruby-red ones. There's a hint of desperation and vulnerability in them that you hadn't spotted before.
"⌠Sylus?" you rasp, your throat feeling like it's filled with shards of broken glass. Though, the pain is worth it when you get to catch the surprised relief on the man's face. Maybe it is really him.
Instead of confirming or denying your assumption, he gently lifts one of your hands, leaning down and pressing his lips to your knuckles. There's a new tenderness when he speaks now, as if your existence itself is as fragile as glass and he's afraid to shatter reality.
"Rest. I'll be by your side until you wake."
Some part of you deep inside feels comforted by that, so you let go, falling into the cavernous abyss of sleep.
I'm having thoughts on how you meet the LADs LIs in a modern AU, no evols, no past lives, no mysterious connections to each other, just regular meet-cutes (or perhaps more like meet-ugly in some cases). Please note MC is not a separate character in this scenario, itâs just you and the boys (*^â˝^*) Enjoy~
Xavier
You meet Xavier on a blind date your friend set up for you at a hotpot place. Itâs been a while since youâve been out with anyoneâthus your friend insisting on you meeting this new guy sheâs sure is a perfect fit for youâso youâre a bit nervous and you end up arriving early. Figuring you might as well get the two of you a table, you take a seat while keeping your eyes on the door, anxiously bouncing your leg under the table as you message your date to let him know youâre here.
A man enters, at least 6 feet tall and with a head of blonde hair, which matches the description you were given when this was all set up, so you merrily wave him over. He pauses and seems to look confused for momentâoh God, what if your friend hyped you up too much and now heâs disappointedâbut he obligingly comes over and you shove the menu into his hands and usher him to sit down. You pour him some water from the jug on the table as you ask how his journey was, and he replies it was fine, albeit a little stiltedly.
Unfortunately, that makes you even more nervous, and when youâre nervous, you get chatty, like youâre trying to fill an awkward silence before it can form. Itâs only the waitress coming over to take your orderâwhich he provides in a soft, smooth voiceâthat finally gets you to quiet down. Thereâs a pause after she leaves and you take the moment to apologise for yapping away, explaining that you havenât been on a date in a while and heâs a lot more handsome than your friend made out, so youâre a little tense.
As youâre nearing the end of this explanation, you get a text pop up on your phone from⌠your date?
You look up at the man in front of you, who is decidedly not on his phone, and then back down at the message which reads sorry, smth came up, canât make it.
At this point, the guy across from you is also looking at your phone, and it seems heâs started to put the pieces together himself. Youâre not sure youâve ever been more mortified than when you realise you have effectively forced some poor random man on a date with you. For a while you just stare at him helplessly, as though maybe the truth will un-reveal itself and you can go back to blissful ignorance, until he interrupts by offering to move to a different table.
Looking around, you realise the restaurant has quickly filled up since you arrived, to the point youâre not sure there is another free table, and even if there were, you really donât think he should be the one to move. You explain as much when you finally come to your senses enough to apologise, offering to pay the bill and leave yourself. After a little back and forth, you eventually decide together that since the orderâs been placed you might as well eat while youâre here and you can split the bill later.
Xavier, as you find out his name is, actually turns out to be quite easy to talk to, once youâve calmed down enough from your mistake to have an actual conversation. It turns out you both like the same comic series as well, and you leave the restaurant with a plan to meet up for lunch again.
Needless to say, you donât bother trying to rearrange anything with your actual intended date.
Rafayel
You meet Rafayel when you rescue him while working late one night at the University. Itâs a Friday and everyone else has long since left to start their weekends but you have a review meeting coming up, and after dealing with some deeply uncooperative cell cultures, youâre grinding to gather as much useable data as you can possibly get. You step out of the lab briefly to grab yourself something with caffeine in it while the centrifuge whirs away, only to stop when you see someone gesticulating wildly while talking loudly into their phone outside the building.
Theyâre in the courtyard that connects your Biology building and the Art departmentâwhy someone had put the two next to each other, you would never knowâthe very same one with doors that could only be opened via keycard after 6pm and no alternative exit route. Youâre just wondering if the young man might be stuck out there when he spots you through the glass door and starts waving at you before pointing at the doorâs release button on the inside. Ah, so he is stuck then you think, as you walk over and press it, how long has he been out there?
The doors start to open automatically, and as soon as enough space opens up, the man hurls himself through the gap almost as though he thinks they might change their mind and try to shut him out again. He looks back through the doors like the mere existence of the courtyard is an attack upon his person and asks you if your university makes a regular point of trying to trap its guests. You can only shrug in reply, but he looks put out enough that you feel a bit sorry for him, so you offer him some of the fancy tea and snacks you keep around for when your experiments go to shit and you need some cheering up.
And thatâs how you end up entertaining Rafayel, art legend who had been cajoled into doing a guest lecture at your university, in your lab groupâs office space over tea at almost 9pm. He regales you with the story of how heâd been kept late by the Dean of the art department talking his ear off, trying to persuade him into taking a fixed-term position, and had then wandered out the wrong exit and ended up in the predicament youâd found him in. You have the sense this venting is much needed, so you let him carry on, offering sympathy when appropriate.
Surprisingly, he then turns the conversation to you and you find yourself prattling away about your research project. You do make something of an effort not to fully nerd out on him, but itâs difficult when heâs a good listener and seems able to pick up on the bits youâre the most passionate about. He manages to wheedle your phone number out of you before he leaves, with the excuse of needing someone to rescue him should he fall victim to the courtyard againâthough you struggle to imagine why heâd come back after his first experience with the University.
It catches you rather by surprise then, when you see his name pop up as a new hire in the newsletter that circulates the week after.
Zayne
You meet Zayne while on your way to comfort your friend after a break up. Said break up has been a long time comingâat least, in your opinion as someone who never liked the bastard to begin withâbut that doesnât mean sheâs any less upset about it, which is why you step into the elevator of her apartment building with a plastic bag containing a full tub of rocky road ice cream, a box of her favourite truffles and a cheap bottle of wine. You press the button for her floor and then the one to hold the door as you spot a man also walking towards the elevator.
He thanks you politely, reaching the doors in just a few long strides and pressing the button for a different floor before standing on the opposite side to you. The doors close and the elevator starts to rise as you get your phone out to let your friend know youâre here. Itâs then that you hear an awful grinding noise and the elevator comes to an abrupt stop, decidedly not at either of your intended floors. For a moment, you hope itâs just stopped to let some other resident of the building in, but several seconds pass with the doors refusing to open and you exchange concerned looks with the only other occupant. It seems, you both agree, that the elevator is stuck.
You do the sensible thing of pressing the call button and alerting the buildingâs management team to the problem, who promise you theyâll deal with the issue as soon as they can, and youâre then left with the reality of being trapped in an enclosed space with a complete stranger. As you attempt to surreptitiously study the guy, you note that while heâs pretty good-looking and well-dressed, the faint dark lines under his eyes scream of someone whoâs had too long of a day to deal with the bullshit of getting stuck in an elevator.
Spreading your old, tired coat on the ground, you sit yourself down and offer the spot next to you to the guy. He initially looks like heâs going to refuse but with a bit of needling, he seats himself next to you with a heavy sigh. Â Figuring you might as well try to get comfortable, you offer him a handshake and introduce yourself. You learn his name is Zayne, he works as a doctor at the nearby hospital and the only reason heâs in the building is because he planned to pick up something from a colleague before heading home. As your conversation continues, itâs not too difficult to pick up on the fact that heâs not the most extroverted individual in the world, but thereâs nothing like being stuck somewhere with no other source of entertainment aside from your nearly dead phone to spur you into keeping the conversation going.
More time passes with no sign of immediate rescue, so you dig the portable cutlery set out from your workbag and offer to split your rapidly melting ice cream with your new elevator buddy. Once you are finally liberated from your shared confinementâa process that takes over two hours in the endâyouâre down one tub of ice cream and a half a box of truffles. Zayne offers to compensate you for both, but youâve grown fond enough of his dry sense of humour that you propose a counter offer: next time he can treat you to some ice cream, ideally in a nicer location than the floor of a broken down elevator.
He accepts.
Sylus
You meet Sylus during a run in with your miserable, cheating ex. Itâs been a rough month all in all, trying to stitch together the tattered edges of your life where theyâd previously been entangled with another person. As a treat, you decide to take yourself out shopping, a higher end store than youâd usually frequent, but you feel like youâve earned it by surviving the last four weeks.
Your nice day out is cut short however, when you spot your ex with the sidepiece heâd been seeing behind your back clinging to his arm and sporting a sizeable diamond ring on her left hand. Unfortunately, they spot you before you have time to process properly that the person you thought you were going to spend the rest of your life with is engaged no more than a month after your break up. They approach you and the conversation is as full of petty bullshit as you would expect from the two worst people you knowâyour ex making sure to mention the expensive honeymoon theyâve got booked after the lavish wedding theyâre going to have next spring.
Then the conversation turns to you, and your exâs new fiancĂŠe asks snidely if youâre seeing anyone. Itâs obvious from the smug look on her face that she knows the answer is no and something in you just snaps. Youâre not thinking straightâyouâd never do something like this if you wereâ when you grab the poor stranger unfortunate enough to be standing close to you and announce him as the new guy youâve been seeing. All you can tell from your peripheral is that heâs well-dressed and considerably taller than your ex, who always had a bit of a thing about his height.
You see your exâs expression falter as he looks the guy over and it emboldens you enough that you finally let loose the verbal tirade you wanted to give him the day you found someone elseâs nudes on his phone. To say you eviscerate the pair of them would be putting it mildly; by the end of your little speech, half the store has turned to watch and at least one grandmother is clutching at her pearl necklace.
To finish off with the appropriate dramatics, you march away from the pair with your head held high and manage to make it halfway across the shop floor before you realise youâve dragged the random stranger you grabbed hold of with you. An apology to end all apologies at drawing the poor man into your drama starts to form on your tongue, only to have it wither away the moment you get a proper look at him. The arm youâre hanging onto belongs to one of the most intimidatingâand good-looking, but thatâs a little beside the pointâguys youâve ever seen.
Itâs immediately apparent from his build that the only reason you got this far is because he let you haul him away. And then thereâs the way heâs looking at you, like a big cat eyeing up something that wandered into its enclosure, trying to decide whether itâs worth hunting. Suddenly, you are struck by the feeling that you have just done something very, very stupid.
Caleb
You meet Caleb while having the worst day of your life. A failing grade on your latest piece of coursework, your barely acceptable average hanging on by a thread, your best friend for over a decade seems to have decided youâre a poor relation to the new friends sheâs made at her own college a city away and you have a rat problem your landlord is refusing to address. In some attempt to try to salvage things, you decide to treat yourself with a beverage from your favourite coffee shop. Do you really have the budget for it? No, but the thought of staying in your shitty rental for the rest of the day is too much to bear.
You go up to counter and order as usual, wincing a little when the number comes up on the till but tapping your card regardless, however itâs when you collect your drink and turn to find your usual seat in the corner that things go horribly wrong. Someone shoulder checks you, hard, and you manage to tip your drink all over yourself as you stagger backwards.
Time seems to freeze for a moment, you can feel the eyes on you, watching as the liquid drips down from your formerly white shirt. Looking down at the contents of your now nearly empty cup, something in you breaks. You start bawlingâtears, snot, the works. The arsehole who ran into doesnât even bother to stop as you burst into hysterics and everyone else seems content to just stare at you like youâre some kind of spectacle.
Then, you feel an arm around your shoulder, guiding you towards a quiet corner at the back of the store as someone takes the cup from your hands and presses a wad of napkins into them instead. You try to thank them through the tears, although youâre not sure anything intelligible comes out and the kind stranger just quietly hushes you in response. They get you to sit down and you look up to see an extremely handsome guyâyou think you might have seen him around campus before, although youâre not sureâstanding in front of you, blocking the view of you from the rest of the shop with his back.
He lets you cry it out for bit, disappearing only briefly after youâve started to calm down and coming back with a duplicate of your drink order. That act of kindness is almost enough to make you start back up again, but then he asks what happened and you end up spilling your guts to him. It seems like bad manners to dump all your problems on a stranger, though once youâre done, you do feel more like a person and less like a total walking disaster. He introduces himself as Caleb and he is indeed at the same college as you, just a couple of years ahead. You thank him profusely for his help and try to give him some money for the drink but he waves it off, asking instead if he can borrow your phone quickly. Not seeing any reason to refuseâmaybe his has run out of charge, you thinkâyou hand it over and he steps away to make brief call before handing it back to you.
That encounter seems to serve as something of a turning point, as shortly after you say your goodbyes, you receive a message from your landlord promising the rat problem will be dealt with immediately. You also notice that Caleb :) has been added to your contacts list.
A/N: Fun fact, the building thing in Rafayelâs bit sounds made up but is inspired by a genuine set up at one of the Universities Iâve worked at where if you forgot your keycard after hours, you could literally get trapped in a courtyard with no way out other than trying to scale the buildings or calling security. This almost happened to me once and I lived in permanent fear of actually getting stuck out there, so I am passing my trauma onto Raf <3
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đŚâ⏠my thoughts won't leave me alone...... so i was thinking about how it would feel to be able to hide from it all in sylus's lap.
he wouldn't intrude or push you to tell him about the way your mind is tormenting you. he'd let you lie against him, knowing that his presence is enough to hold your thoughts at bay for a while. if you want silence, he gives you silence, steadily holding you to his chest with one hand as he reads or does tasks on his display with the other.
it would be so comforting to just have his company with no obligations whatsoever. he doesn't expect you to speak to him at all, and he won't be disappointed or bored if you don't. he's self-sufficient in that way and just greatly values having you physically present by his side. while he does appreciate your words and enjoys listening to you speak, he will never pressure you to do so.
he wouldn't mind staying with you like this for as long as you need him to. he might make you drink water or eat a bit of food if you've gone too long without it, but other than that, he won't disturb your peace. he's easily able to carry you with him wherever he goes, and he offers you little bits of affection when it seems like you need them most.
just having a space to rest and to hurt without being completely alone, a shoulder to rest your head against, a warm body to hold and be held by in equal measure. someone to wait out the ache with who won't try to push you to feel better too quickly. a little pocket of peace.
i think just having his solid presence against my cheek would give me a bit of a shield against all the cruel thoughts constantly battering against my meager defenses.
and maybe what would help the most is asking him a simple question: "sylus, am i a bad person?"
and he'd have a better response than anything i could come up with while i'm like this... but i'm sure that he'd kiss your tears away and hold you tight, making sure you believe him.
Hello mister snoozer crow aka the ruler of fluffy cuddle times I just wanted to say that I really like all of your works a lot especially the fluffy stuff - its such a lovely thing to be able to read all of your warm soft stories and I love the fact as well you like self aware stuff too! I don't really have much else to say aside from this but have a lovely day mr crow :3c
alfdjsjdfhsfdjl thank you so much!!!!! getting this ask made my day, i'm soso happy you enjoy reading my soft fics! i also enjoy writing them since doing so brings me comfort when things are tough!!! i'm very touch starved, and i think cuddling the lads men would instantly make everything feel so much better tbh!!!! i'd probably cry! (happy tears though!!)
the second part of my self aware story is almost done, i just have that last little push left and then i'll be able to share it!!! it's hurt/comfort but with heavier hurt than usual since it's a bit horror flavored đââď¸ i'm super excited to show it though!!!
i hope you have a lovely day too!!!! thank you again for the kind words nonnie! <3333