Zany Danger's Thoughts

This is literally my fourth or fifth time reblogging this.

Content warning/guarantee: body issues? Someone took some photos of me this week that actually made me feel like I didn't look off, which is a rarity.

I assume everyone walking the planet has some version of "I don't like how I look." Maybe it's the mirror, maybe it's how others look or act, i certainly do feel a little weird about how on a Southwest flight when I have a pretty good seat in a decent row with empty seats next to me, and "the plane is full, just take a seat" message comes on, people just keep walking past me and it's usually last to fill. (Not the worst thing, but you can't help but take that sort of thing personally, nor when a co-worker sends you a picture of some weird lookin' person hunched over looking at a screen at a con and says "this looks just like you" and you look at it and go "Oh dear God it does look just like me." )

There are not a lot of pictures of me out there, in this or my other identities, and this is a big reason why. I don't like people commenting on how I look, because it's never particularly pleasant.* It's rarely "Hey you look nice today," it's usually "You look just like this dorky person" and I don't know what you're supposed to say to that other than an annoyed "Thank you?" with your best hate stare and move on.

I usually say "no" if someone asks to take a picture because you can see how people see you immediately and it's rarely flattering. But when it is, it's memorable. A few months ago it dawned on me that there was one time like 20 years ago someone shot some video of me doing my thing when we were still in school, and did not make me feel stupid. I'm sure I looked goofy and acted goofy, but at least it seemed accurate to what I was out doing in the pictures. I recently sent a note to the person indicating "Hey, I came to this realization, thank you for not making me look or feel like a chump." You'd be surprised how many people have taken a picture at a thing, and I look stupid in it, and then they come up to show me and say "LOL" and I awkwardly have to say "So maybe don't post that?"

After seeing years of school photos, yearbook pictures, candids, and so on, it's nice to go from "clearly I must have something that makes me look bad on camera" to "Oh apparently a few people 'get it' and I don't feel stupid." This isn't the normal course of events, but it's nice to know I don't hate all photos of me.

I had another extremely rare run-in with someone this past week who asked if I wanted a picture and I was torn between "yes" (because I like this person) and "no" (because of history of not liking how photos and video turn out.) Long story longer, the pictures turned out great this week and I don't feel like it made me look stupid. I'd go out of my way and say it looks like they actually didn't show things I felt looked bad, too, which I guess is why photographers in kink communities are such a highly valued thing. It's a pretty vulnerable place to be, so making sure someone doesn't look or feel like an idiot is tough to do and photographers that can pull it off deserve a medal.

I have a new hypnosis audio!

The Shift. That moment where trance just… happens. This recording is designed to play with some metaphors for that idea in a way that will hopefully get you into a delightfully deep trance. There are no lasting suggestions here other than feeling good once the trance is done. There is some snapping, some spiral things, a little bit of fractionation/trance-within-trance, maybe some time dilation; this one is for sure hypnosis for hypnosis people.

As always: your comments and feedback are very much welcome. I make these files for the joy of it, and hearing how people like them is the only thing that really makes me want to make more.

If you like it, tell me. Seriously!

(Also, check out the video on this one! It’s the first time I’ve done a video for one of my files instead of using stock footage.)

My favourite musical has a line where the husband vents to his wife about all these negative things he’s thinking about himself. His wife replies, “Can you really know so little about yourself? And can you really think so little of me that you believe I'd marry the man you've described?”

That’s a good question, Anon! A very good question. One which I’m not sure that I’m lucid enough to answer with everything that I’d like to say regarding it.

Bottom line: treat people as people. Not dispensers. No one owes you anything in regards to play. Treat people with respect and like human beings with their own lives, loves, and obligations. Now, that doesn’t mean don’t try! There is so much wonder and joy and experiences to be shared in this community. Just be prepared to work at it a bit.

Some form of polyamory is common from what I’ve seen. It’s been working for me, but that doesn’t mean that it works for everyone! You need to discover what works best for you.

Make connections, find common interests. Always reach out and ask, but learn to take a no. You will never know if you don’t ask. And yes it can be terrifying, truly, but take those 15 seconds of courage and go for it! You probably won’t regret it.

As for managing different intensities of relationships as they form, and they will, I don’t have a perfect answer for you Anon. I’ll be honest, I’m still struggling with that myself. Just bottom line: communicate! Communicate your desires, your interests, your fears. Your concerns, your jealously. All things that need to be talked about and managed in a successful relationship, or multiple!

We keep saying we should start the discussion up again someday, but in the meantime, here’s our outline from those discussion classes. It doesn’t have concrete answers (Spoiler Alert: there probably aren’t any), but it may help identify some of the common questions and challenges that come up. (Though it’s a couple years old now – if we were to do it again, I’m sure there’s a lot more to add or amend.)

POSSIBLE DISCUSSION TOPICS:

 1) Does erotic hypnosis (EH) play change, intensify, or accelerate romantic feelings, attachments, and relationships? More so than a “vanilla” relationship?

       What if you factor in:

 ·       D/s play

·       Service-oriented relationship

·       The excitement of exploring a new kink

·       The excitement of finding a kink play partner

·       Emotional and/or erotic dependence

·       Differences between Eroticism / Sexual desire / Connection or Rapport / Platonic Love / Romantic Love

 2) What unique challenges arise when one, both, or more EH play partners have little or no previous experience in kink relationships? In polyamorous relationships?

 ·       Handling jealousy between multiple subjects and/or subs? Between multiple hypnotists and/or tops?

·       Dealing with imbalances in the nature or depth of the play partners’ feelings

 3) Any experience or advice on how to best approach new EH explorations when there is an existing significant other or partner involved who is not kinky or is not interested in EH?

 ·       Balancing long-term, established non-kink relationships with an individual’s desire to explore EH

·       Setting, respecting, and minding limits and boundaries

·       Can emotions be expected to stay within boundaries or follow rules?

 4) What special care or considerations should subjects and hypnotists take into account with EH play?

 ·       What is it about trancing that suggests longer-term obedience, attachment, exclusivity, or even addiction?

·       How does the dynamic shift if there is a financial element involved? For example, professional hypno dom(me)s or a fin-dom(me)?

 5) What different emotional dynamics are at work for the hypnotist?

 ·       Does the hypnotist have any unique or extra responsibilities?

·       Are there scenarios in which an erotic hypnotist should actively avoid emotional attachment to the subject?

·       Choice of language (addictive, dependent, exclusive)

·       Intentional or unintentional misuse of power exchange and how to respond

·       Responsibilities (removal of or time-limitations on suggestions, safeties if relationship ends)

 6) What different emotional dynamics are at work for the hypnotic subject?

 ·       Does the subject have any unique or extra responsibilities?

·       Are there scenarios in which the hypnotic subject should actively avoid emotional attachment to the hypnotist?

·       In communicating to the hypnotist crucial information about existing relationships and feelings?

·       Safeties if relationship ends

·       How the hypnotist’s language style affects them and communicating modifications

·       Aftercare required or desired (from either side of the watch)