BITE! BITE! BITE!

Twice in my youth (once in high school and once in college) I was in situations where I was asking someone out and I could tell they were calculating in their heads the risks of rejecting me, and both times I said, out loud, "you can say no, I wouldn't have asked if I wasn't prepared for either answer." And then they said no. This wasn't some spark of special wisdom I had - I knew to do it because feminist conversations among my age group brought it up regularly. This isn't happening nearly enough anymore.

More recently, I was really glad when we got to "rejection sensitive dysphoria" in my IOP program and it was one of those symptoms where the therapists really emphasized how it affects others. Because it does.

1) Let’s start with the most famous/popular classic: Dom Casmurro - it has everything one can love about a book, an unreliable narrator looking back on his own life as an old, lonely and bitter man. He goes against the wishes of his mother and doesn’t become a priest so he can marry his childhood love, but after doing so, becomes increasingly paranoid about being cheated by her with his best friend. It’s a 200 year old debate at this point: did she cheat?

I would recommend anything by Machado de Assis, the man who wrote multiple genres and revolutionized Brazilian literature, but this is his most popular book. He was a genius. But if you don’t want to read it, the mini series Capitu is about this book.

2) The poetical anthology of Vinicius de Moraes, one of the greatest poets of the 20th century and one of the men behind the bossa nova movement in Brazil. Have you ever heard the song girl from Ipanema? He fucking wrote it and Tom Jobim composed it.

3) Barren lives (Vidas Secas, by Graciliano Ramos): this is a book about the harsh life of people in the northeast of the country living during the months of drought, suffering with poverty and hunger and thirst. Not an easy read, and it does so as a critique to the politics in Brazil in the 20th century. This one made me cry in the middle of class while I was reading it and I had to try to hide it. Animal death trigger warning.

4) This one might not be so famous, but in my heart, it is famous. Moldy Strawberries (morangos mofados) by an iconic lgbt writer called Caio Fernando Abreu. There are several short stories in it, many of them talking about life in 80s in Brazil during the military dictatorship. The author suffered with censorship as many others did at the time.

Some stories are full of dread and hopelessness but there is a gay short story called “those two” and reading that as I was slowly trying to come out of the closet as a teen living in a conservative area of the country filled me with the hope that yeah, life is hard when you’re not straight, but you can find happiness, and that those filled with hatred are the ones truly unhappy. It’s bittersweet, but it filled me with hope.

I devoured this book and another one of his called Cartas para além do muro, a compilation of his letters. Caio Fernando Abreu died of complications from AIDS in the 90s, but he left us such beautiful writing. He is eternal in this way.

5) Death and life of Severino (morte e vida severina) João Cabral de Melo Neto. About the harsh life of those working in plantations in northeastern Brazil. It’s beautiful. My mom once took me to a theatre performance made exclusively with blind actors on stage. I don’t think she realized how much that would be as a formative experience for me. She knew it was important I saw it, but the words are carved in me ever since that day over 20 years ago, and they are a part of me now. They will be haunting to you too, in a good way, I think.

6) These are not books but are famous/important/favorites: the short story by Clarice Lispector called clandestine happiness, a coming of age story about a girl who loves books. Song of exile by Gonçalves Dias (a poem). I-Juca Pirama (a poem) also by Gonçalves Dias. Memory of dying by Álvares de Azevedo (a poem, this link has a very good translation of it).

Soneto da fidelidade (sonnet of fidelity) is the most famous sonnet by Vinicius de Moraes (mentioned at number 2 on this list)

“I'll be able to say to myself of the love (I had):

Be not immortal, since it is flame

But be infinite while it lasts”

It’s incredibly famous and incredibly misinterpreted. The author does not pledge undying love as a lot of people think it does, but a love that will feel eternal but won’t be. But until the very end of this love, the author pledges to be faithful to his lover. It is beautiful nonetheless.

Okay here are some film/series adaptations of Brazilian literature

Capitu - beautiful mini series based on Dom Casmurro. The sets are amazing, the soundtrack too, the narration, it will bring you to tears, it will leave you asking if she cheated or not (yours truly thinks she didn’t because Bentinho is an unreliable narrator)

O Auto da compadecida - this is a comedy, this is political criticism, this is political satire, this might bring you to tears and fill you with dread and by the end, it might fill you with hope. The characters live what might be seen as immoral lives, but in its core it is about people who are doing what they can to survive in a brutal area of the country, during a very dangerous time, and what happens to them in the afterlife when they must face judgment.

Jesus is a black man in this, and Mary is portrayed by Fernanda Montenegro who is in I’m still here, the next film I’ll talk about. This will not be a very orthodox portrayal of Christianity if this puts you off - this is still an irreverent comedy, and it questions morality when characters are facing the fact they must make terrible decisions just to survive another day, so it has a different vision of Christian dogma, on its morality, on its idea of forgiveness and mercy.

Even though the story is from the 20th century, it still is very relevant. It is one of my favorites. It makes me laugh and cry and laugh again

I’m still here (Ainda estou aqui): about the life of the activist Eunice Paiva in the aftermath of the disappearance of her husband during the Brazilian dictatorship (who was brutally killed by the regime). She went to law school and fought for the rights of indigenous people. It won an Oscar this year.

New Secret Knots comic, "The River". I hope you like it!