Will shut the door as quietly as he could before whirling with pure annoyance on his face to three of his closet friends.
Dustin, Lucas and Max all wilted under his glare and the two boys quickly dropped to the couch in the basement as Will stalked down the stairs. For each step he took he made sure to hold his breath and not breathed out once he got to the bottom.
Only then did Max sit down and it was with more grace then the two boys.
“What is wrong with you guys? Why are you all being such assholes to Mike?!” He whispered shouted, folding his arms and hoping the deep rooted fear wasn’t showing in his eyes. From his perspective his friend group was falling apart and he was terrified.
No one spoke for a moment and Will sighed.
In the last fe months they had become short with Mike and Will had blamed them at first. Mike wasn’t dealing with his father’s death well, let alone Jane’s, but who in their right mind would be able to get through something like that? Sure, Mike’s grief wasn’t pretty and he had been going near silent when Will was around but Will was okay to be patient for him.
Something the others apparently couldn’t be anymore seen as Lucas nearly knocked Mike on his ass just for calling out of their movie night early. Will had the ushered Mike up the stairs while glaring at Lucas in order to settle the situation, and was now desperate to find a solution to all of the tension.
Eventually Lucas gave in, always thinking too much with his heart, “Look… everyone’s always known that you felt more for Mike than we did, even before you came out to us.”
Will sucked in a harsh breath. He had figured that, but to actually hear it aloud was a shock to his system. When Lucas winced he nodded at him to continue and schooled his expression.
“We all know he doesn’t have to accept that or feel the same way, but it’s not fair for him to ignore you and tell you to be careful with who you tell.”
At Will’s confused look Dustin explained, “We heard him saying he didn’t want anyone else in his family to know. Which we get, but isn’t that up to you?”
Will felt a migraine growing.
Max scoffed, “He’s acting like a little bitch because you’re the only one of you two to actually accept who you are.”
“Max-“ Lucas tried to warn, but his girlfriend wasn’t having it.
“No, shut up! I’m right and you all know it! Mike is too far into fucking Narnia and instead of being happy for his friend who he clearly loves he’s being a jerk with a fragile fucking ego-“
“That’s enough.” Will snapped, harsh and far too cold in town for his best friend.
Max instantly stopped and looked genuinely remorseful as she slumped back and looked away.
Despite that, everyone wondered if her words held any truth.
Looking back towards for door for a moment, Will hoped he wasn’t making a mistake as he decided how he wanted to proceed with the situation. He turned towards the single chair across from the others and sat down with a heavy thump.
A moment passed before he gave them all a sad smile, “I’m going to tell you guys something that has to stay between us, okay?”
Taking one big breath in, Will started talking in the same voice he talked about Jane with. Something filled with grief but also kindness, like how one might treat a scar that hurt them but carried the memory of a great moment.
“When we were little, around eight I think, me and Mike were at Castle Byers. We’d been playing make believe, something about knights. I got tired and so we sat down and Mike started talking about what he wanted to be in the future.” Will’s smile turned into something sweet and bitter all at once, “He was excited to talk about us living together and being friends forever. I told him I liked that idea and then-“
He had to pause for a moment before he continued and tried his best to ignore the way his eyes were starting to burn already.
“Then he asked what our wedding would be like.”
Near silent gasps rang out but Will ignored it, contouring as best he could, “I asked what he meant and he said that it was obvious we would get married because we love each other.”
Tears fell now, hot and heavy and damning.
“I-I was still living with my dad and I was scared he would hear so I covered Mike’s mouth and told him to be quiet, that no one could hear. He looked update and asked me why not. I’m… I’m not proud of it, not just because it hurt him but also because it hurt me too, but I told him that wasn’t allowed. I told him boys couldn’t marry each other.”
Sniffles started to cut into some of his words and yet he kept going, not just to tell them but because he needed to say this out loud.
“He didn’t care, told me he would never love anyone like he l-loved me and he didn’t care what people said. He said ‘loving you can’t be wrong’ and I was so scared. Lonnie had- well, you guys know, but it was so bad at that point and I was so terrified he would hear and then he’d hurt me and Mike so-so I told Mike-“ A full body shudder wrecked him as he finally confessed, “I told Mike I didn’t love him and that he was a freak.”
Will covered his face with his hands and he only tried to fight whoever it was trying to hug him for a moment before giving in.
Soft whispers were sounding around him, telling him it was okay and that he was just a kid and of course he was scared.
He shook them away and said, “You don’t get it, I- I meant it. I didn’t love him the way I did when I was older, hell even just by a couple of years, and I believed what Lonnie told me. I was disgusted by him for weeks after that and it was only when I realised I was also disgusted with myself that we even started to move on from it.”
It was hard to hear but they understood.
Will had known he was queer for years and it wa simply when the end of the world was close to happening and his groomer was effectively blackmailing him with the fact that he could come out. Sure, he didn’t regret it, but he would never have chosen to do it like that if he was given the basic human right of a choice.
Everyone knew Will loved Mike, but that’s because it was clear as day that he was falling in love.
Mike didn’t just fall first, he fell so hard it became his entire personality and gave him bravery stronger than Will had seen in his eight years of life. He had been ready to face the whole world for Will at just eight and it was only after that day he began to truly understand the danger he faced for being what he was.
He understood that Lonnie old beat his son over it, that Ted would send him to a conversion camp for it, that Nancy would give odd looks and school bullies would kill him over it.
Something Will knew before he realised he was gay and Mike found out after.
Something so simple, yet it gave hem entirely different stories.
Will wiped his tears and mumbled, “I broke Mike’s heart and he was never the same after that. He’s not just grieving family, he’s also grieving that we could’ve had our chance if I had been raised differently and that I went from being the only one who didn’t want to try to being the only one who can.”
It hurt to look up and see Dustin crying while Lucas looked up at the ceiling as if in prayer. It hurt most to see Max staring at him with understanding as the only person other than Will who was truely able to grasp the concept of Mike Wheeler, inside and out.
He looked at them and hoped they were getting what he was saying and then feeling mournful as he realised they did.
As they began to apologise and promise to be more understanding of Mike, even if they thought there could still be a simpler solution, only Max heard the footsteps fading from the door to the basement.
