Zalkon Inc.

mutual masturbation is when you jerk off to someone you met on tumblr

I wish someone wanted me the way I want them

Want to go to the river and I’ll find you pretty rocks? (Flirting)

me: *sends a single text* why am i so clingy

sometimes i forget that i need to talk to my friends in order to talk to my friends

YOU don’t have to be perfect to be loved. but I do

despite all of the horrors, we NUT.

I don't have time for sex, I'm too busy running a blog that only 11 or 12 people care about

the nasty trick is that making friends is pretty easy but managing to keep in touch with everyone is next to impossible

When someone you met 10 years ago messages you out of the blue, don't be weird about it. Instead, consider greeting them as an old friend.

Jerk off to me. This is an order.

I just want to be financially stable and having really good sex.