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They had stayed up far too late that night. They had also been drinking—enough to feel it, though not to the point of being sick. Still, she could feel the aftermath now as she opened her eyes and reached for the glass of water on her nightstand.

The room was bright, her head throbbed lightly, and her mouth was dry. Beside her, he was still asleep, his chest rising and falling with steady, deep breaths. She lay still, watching him, until suddenly—almost as if he had sensed her eyes on him—he turned over and blinked awake.

When he smiled at her, her chest tightened.

“What time is it?” His voice was rough, and he cleared his throat.

“I have no idea. I’d have to check my phone, but I don’t even remember where I left it.” She gave a little shrug.

He chuckled. “Are you okay? We definitely got a bit drunk.”

“I think so,” she said, smiling. “I’ll get us some water—and maybe my phone, if I can find it.” She winked at him before sliding out of bed, still completely naked.

That was the best part of living on the top floor: she could walk around naked whenever she wanted.

In the kitchen, she spotted her phone on the table. It was early—too early. They’d only had about four hours of sleep. No wonder she felt restless; she never slept well after drinking. God, maybe she was still a little drunk.

She padded back to the bedroom and paused in the doorway, taking him in. He was lying on his back, arms folded behind his head, nothing but a thin sheet across his hips. His hair was a mess, his eyes still heavy with sleep, and that smile with the dimples—it unraveled her completely.

She handed him the glass of water and climbed back into bed. He sat up, downed it in one go, and then let out a loud burp.

“Excuse me,” he said with a laugh. “Guess I’m still drunk.” Another burp slipped out—and then his whole body jolted.

She pretended not to notice, but she definitely had. Desperate to seem normal, she kept talking.

“Yeah, I thought the same. And it’s only seven, so we could just go back to sleep.”

“HUCK! Excuse me. What?”

Her breath caught. The hiccup had been so loud it nearly knocked the words out of her mouth. She forced herself to keep calm.

“It’s only seven,” she repeated, a little louder.

“Really? So we b–barely slept.” Another hiccup shook him mid-sentence, and he tapped his chest with a sigh.

“Mhm. Do you want to try going back to sleep?”

“Maybe, but—huck!” He cleared his throat, grimacing. “Ugh. Hiccups…”

“Aww, my poor boy,” she teased, sliding closer until she was nestled against him.

Another silent jolt rippled through him, shaking the mattress. He smiled, a little flustered, and that only made her melt. He was hot and adorable at the same time, and she could barely stand it. She wrapped her arm around him. He turned onto his side, letting her press close, and she rested her hand on his stomach.

“Mm, this f–feels good,” he murmured, another hiccup rippling through both of them. She felt his tummy pop beneath her palm, the motion carrying through his back as well. To her, it was heaven.

He didn’t even seem to mind them—just let them come, steady and rhythmic, every few seconds. Maybe it was nothing to him, but to her, it was everything. Her pulse was racing, her sex throbbing. She was in her own world, and he had no idea how badly she wanted him.

Then his body lifted differently beneath her hand—he was yawning. She tensed, waiting to see if the hiccups would interrupt.

“HUP!”

The loudest one yet. She nearly shivered.

He chuckled, clearing his throat. “Excuse me. I usually never g-uck! get the hiccups.”

Her face burned with a flush of pleasure she prayed he couldn’t see. Hearing someone talk about hiccups while still hiccupping—it was heaven.

She traced circles on his stomach, trying to sound casual. Her voice came out softer than she intended. “Really? You don’t get them often?”

“Mm-mm,” he hummed, chest vibrating against her. Another sharp jolt cut him off. “HUP! God—” He laughed under his breath and shook his head. “Not like this, anyway.”

Not like this? Her curiosity burned, but she bit her lip instead of pressing him. “Guess last night really did a number on you.”

He turned his head just enough for her to see his smile. “Or may-huck! maybe it’s the company.” Another jolt, another sigh. “Jeez.”

She laughed with him, though her heart was pounding for other reasons. “Oh, so you’re blaming me now? Am I making you nervous?” she teased, giving his side a light squeeze.

“Could be.” His tone was playful, but there was something softer underneath it, like he was testing the words. Another hiccup punched out of him, and he groaned. “Ah, man. Hup!—sorry. This is so… not sexy.”

She giggled, kissing the back of his neck and trailing down his spine. His breathing changed under her mouth, and she prayed he’d let her keep going. The hiccups kept coming, steady little jolts that made her smile against his skin.

“Oh, I don’t know,” she murmured, kissing the small of his back. “I think it’s pretty cute.”

He groaned, half embarrassed, half aroused. Another hiccup lifted his ribs under her hand. “Cute? God, that’s not what I—hup!—was going for.”

“Mhm.” She bit gently at his shoulder blade, making him gasp. “Lucky for you, I have a thing for cute.”

He laughed softly—then another hiccup burst out, muffled between his teeth. His whole back vibrated against her lips. He half-turned, eyes darker now, tangled with both need and self-consciousness.

“You’re really—hup!—gonna do this while I…” He trailed off as another hit, and she only smiled, dragging her nails down his stomach.

“What? While you what?” she teased, all innocence, as her hand brushed lower.

He exhaled, voice low and strained. “While I… hiccup like an idiot.”

She grinned, leaning to whisper in his ear: “Maybe I like the way you sound.”

That made him shiver—whether from her words or the hiccup that followed, she couldn’t tell. Probably both.

He turned toward her then, his eyes hungry. Another silent jolt shook his chest, and he cleared his throat, smiling sheepishly.

For a moment, he just looked at her, caught between laughter and desire. Then—“Hmk!”—another hiccup broke through, and he groaned, grinning despite himself. “God—these are relentless.”

She slid her hand up to his chest, feeling his heartbeat thrum beneath her palm. “I told you,” she whispered, brushing her lips against his collarbone. “I don’t mind.” She giggled softly, kissing higher until she reached his jaw.

He kissed her back, slow and unhurried, but every few seconds another hiccup jolted them apart, and she swallowed the little grunts that came with them. It made her dizzy with want.

And then suddenly he snapped. He grabbed her wrists, pinning her beneath him, hunger written all over his face.

“I need you—HUCK!”

The loud hiccup barely slowed him. He kissed her nipple, and the jolt of pleasure shot straight to her core. She moaned, trembling under him.

“God, I need you too. Don’t stop.”

His tongue circled her nipple, teasing it perfectly. With his mouth open, his next hiccup came out as a loud HOCK! He chuckled shyly against her skin, but seeing her flushed and panting told him she wasn’t about to let hiccups get in the way.

He kissed lower, brushing over her stomach, and she shivered.

“Please,” she moaned.

“Plea-hup! Please what?” he teased.

Her breath caught. “Please don’t stop. It feels so good.”

He grinned and kissed further down. A surprised hiccup slipped out when he saw her—soft, glistening, and so wet it made his head spin.

“Wow. I love it,” he whispered before pressing his mouth to her clit.

A muffled hmk! jolted him back, and she nearly came from just that. A whimper broke from her lips, unstoppable.

He slipped two fingers inside her, slow and sure, while his tongue played at her clit.

“HOCK!” The hiccup shook his whole body through his open mouth, breaking his rhythm for a moment, and he laughed against her before carrying on.

The anticipation was maddening. Each hiccup came, then a pause—long enough to wonder if they were gone—before another sudden jolt made him bounce slightly against her. Relentless, just like he’d said. Perfect.

He sat up, still massaging her G-spot with those gentle fingers. Looking at her flushed face, he smiled.

“God, this is so p-huck! perfect.”

The words, the hiccup, the pressure of his fingers—it sent her over the edge harder than she’d ever felt before. Her body tightened around him again and again, and he stayed with her, working her through it.

Normally, that would have been enough. Not this time. She wanted more. Needed him.

He pulled her upright, and for a moment they just looked at each other, smiling, breathing. Another silent hiccup tugged at his throat, and he rolled his eyes. She laughed, pulling him down with her.

He was hard, ready, and he slid into her slowly. She whimpered, shivering, and he moved again, and again. His mouth was by her ear now, his hiccups muffled as he tried to hold them in. The little bursts of air through his nose made her shiver all the more.

But when his own excitement built, he opened his mouth, and the next one punched through. “HUP! Shit, excuse me,” he whispered, not stopping.

It pushed her over again, her whole body shaking as she screamed softly with pleasure. He thrust harder, riding the waves with her until he came too, collapsing against her.

“Wow. That was… something else. HUCK!”

“Still going?” she teased with a giggle.

“Unbelievable,” he muttered, rolling onto his back.

“I told you—I don’t mind,” she said with a smile.

“I noticed,” he said, winking.

They were both exhausted, drunk on too little sleep and too much pleasure. She turned onto her side, and he curled against her, his stomach still popping against her back every few seconds. Within minutes, though, his breathing evened out, and she realized his hiccups were finally gone.

Meeting Eric’s mom was just about as scary as Martiza had imagined, and like Eric predicted, Maritza didn’t exactly wow Theresa Langdon. She was sort of coldly civil, which Eric told Maritza afterwards to count as a win.

“It’s just how she is,” Eric explained. “Nobody really impresses her.” He kept his voice light as he said it, but Maritza caught the hurt he was hiding behind it, and she drew him into her arms.

It was hard to imagine that Eric’s mom once had a baby with a man her own parents hadn’t approved of, a relationship that hadn’t been settled like a business contract. Had she retreated into chilliness when things hadn’t worked out with Eric’s dad? After stepping out of the expected high-society line, had she clung to their rules even tighter to get back in their good graces? Had she wanted to keep coloring outside the lines but life drummed it out of her?

Maritza didn’t know, and she thought that asking Eric about it might upset him. So she didn’t ask. She just wondered. At any rate, her questions helped keep her from taking Theresa’s aloof attitude too much to heart.

She also couldn’t help but think about Eric’s last name: Langdon-Reyes. Even though Eric’s dad hadn’t been “part of the plan,” as he’d once said, he still had both their names. His mom hadn’t prevented that. Maybe she’d even been the one to ensure it. And Maritza supposed that was something.

Winter break came and went. While Maritza had a fun time back home with her family and friends, she missed Eric too. They texted and video chatted to “an obnoxious degree,” according to Lila—easy for her to say, her new girlfriend lived a 20-minute bus ride away—and when she returned to Camden in January, Maritza found that she didn’t care about seeming lame or thirsty. She was just happy to be with him again.

“Would it be cool if I moved some more of my stuff over here?” she asked as they cuddled on the couch in Eric’s apartment on their first night back, cozied under a blanket.

If Maritza was lame and thirsty, Eric was too, because he gave her a squeeze and murmured, “Mmm, I’d love that.”

It wasn’t that Maritza was entirely wrapped up in Eric, honestly. Honestly. But as her class load got more demanding, she found she had less energy for the Camden elite and their bullshit and veiled microagressions—even if the latter had gotten less frequent and more covert since they found out she was dating Eric, that didn’t mean it had gone away entirely.

So more and more, they were spending their free time cocooned away from the rest of Camden. They’d put on jackets and gloves and go hiking at Evenswood, or they’d hit up the movie theater or indulge in lazy evenings at the apartment. Was it the most level-headed or balanced way to handle things? Maybe not, but Maritza was feeling increasingly over Camden, and she viewed their one-on-one time as coping strategies to get her through until she walked across that graduation stage and never looked back.

Still, they did occasionally have to put in “face time” with Eric’s friends. It was that weird quasi-networking thing where a lot of their parents did business with one another, so you couldn’t snub anybody for the sake of the stock market or something. It was dumb, and the fact that Maritza and Eric both knew it was dumb helped. As often as he could, Eric supplied plausible reasons for why they couldn’t go to this party or that group hang, limiting the time they spent with that crowd.

“You can totally go if you want,” Maritza told Eric one morning as they were walking Trail #2. “I don’t want to keep you from your friends. If I can stick to making the bare minimum of ‘appearances’ myself, I don’t mind you hanging with them on your own.”

“To be honest, I kind of like getting away from all that,” Eric admitted. “Those guys…” He shook his head, and Maritza caught his jaw clenching a little. At his grandpa’s birthday party, Eric’s best friend Olivia had walked Maritza through his “stress tells,” the small hints of “not okay-ness” that could bleed through even when he was putting on a good act.

“Even before we’d started seeing each other, I’d pretty much outgrown them,” he explained. “It’s nice to claim coupledom as a reason not to go to their stuff.” With a soft, self-conscious smile, he added, “And sometimes I get tired, having to be ‘on’ all the time, you know?”

Maritza took his hand, stopping them in the middle of the trail so they could kiss. “You should come around my way this summer,” she suggested. “Spend as much time in the city as you want. My friends are lovable weirdos who aren’t fake, and we’re good at adopting strays.”

She winked, and Eric laughed. “Sounds like a plan,” he said, putting his arm around her as they started up a leisurely stroll.

“Also, you badly need more melanin in your life,” Maritza told him. “People of color beyond just me and folks who work for your family.”

“God, I know,” Eric replied.

“Although, fair warning, my mom will spend the summer saying she has to fatten you up,” Maritza warned.

Eric grinned. “This plan just gets better and better.”

The following week, they had their requisite face time with the Camden crowd—that’s how Maritza had started thinking of them, which felt more accurate than “Eric’s friends.” They all met up for dinner at one of the fancier restaurants in town. Maritza’s Princess Diaries lessons with Eric had paid off well, and she could go to a high-end restaurant without getting confused about silverware, experiencing a gut punch of dread at the priceless menus, or feeling too out of place.

Of course, the Camden crowd could sneak in flasks and be rude to the waitstaff to their heart’s content, but god forbid if Maritza unfolded her napkin wrong.

She couldn’t deny that the food was really good, though. While she’d still take her abuelita’s cooking any day of the week, Maritza liked getting fancy dishes in three courses. Tonight, it was salmon croquettes for an appetizer, chicken in a delicious pomegranate sauce for her main, and she was already looking forward to dessert—she didn’t know what she was gonna get yet, but probably something chocolate.

Okay, so the food helped her get through it too. Easier to listen to Brody Chatsworth brag about his planned getaway to Ibiza for spring break when she was eating like royalty. “Ugh, I’d kill to go to Ibiza!” Hayley Cavendish groaned. “We’re just doing stupid St. Barts.”

“I like St. Barts,” Tina Franklin offered.

“It’s sooooooo boring!” Hayley insisted.

“What about you, Maritza?” Danielle Mercer asked sweetly. “What are you doing for spring break?”

“Go Greyhound,” Jason Hamilton murmured to Lindsey Westbrook, who laughed like she was on the verge of climax.

Maritza was learning that, while Jason and Lindsey were the most overt assholes of the group, Danielle wasn’t one to be counted out. She was good at looking doe-eyed while giving backhanded slaps, and she was always finding excuses to cozy up to Eric in ways she probably wouldn’t dare if he was dating Hayley or Tina.

And the truth was, Maritza had less than an interstate bus trip planned. “Nothing special,” she said, shrugging and pretending she didn’t see the smirks. “Probably just—”

Eric slipped his arm around her waist. “It’s a surprise, actually,” he informed the table.

At those words, the table was split between wordless surprise and tantalized exclamations. “Seriously? Langdon, that’s so generous of you!” Danielle said with an admiring sigh. She was sitting on the other side of him (because of course she was,) and she sort of hugged his free arm.

“Charitable, you might say,” Lindsey remarked.

Count Maritza among the “wordless surprise” contingent. “You, uh…huh?” she managed to stammer out. Was he actually planning on taking her somewhere, or was he just saying it to get everyone off her back?

“I don’t really see it that way,” Eric replied. “I like traveling, and I like spending time with Maritza, so it’s a win-win for me.”

His tone was casual, but he rubbed his thumb across his mouth: stress tell. Maybe Eric was planning a trip, maybe not. Either way, he didn’t like this conversation. Or Danielle hanging off him, for that matter.

“Hey, you’d better step it up,” Lindsey told Jason. “Langdon’s gonna start making you look bad.”

Maritza held back a snort of laughter. Start? For one, Jason didn’t need anybody to help him look bad. For another, Eric had been outclassing him since freshman year, at least.

“Oh yeah?” Jason asked. “‘Cause I was thinking the Virgin Islands.”

Brody laughed, probably because Jason said “virgin.” The whole Camden crowd launched into a debate about the best vacation spots, with lots of arguing between private beaches, ski resorts, and party destinations. Scintillating, they were not.

And hey, Maritza liked travel—or at least, she liked the idea of travel based on watching travel shows. But didn’t these guys ever talk about music or hobbies or interesting video essays they’d stayed up late watching on YouTube?

She started a little as Eric suddenly leaned over and murmured in her ear, asking, “Hey, can I h-- have some of your water-*mmp!*”

It was an odd question to ask in a restaurant filled with waitstaff that was ready to serve Camden kids at the drop of a hat, and Maritza answered, “Uh, sure,” on a kind of autopilot.

Shooting her a look and a grateful nod, Eric reached for her glass. That’s when Maritza noticed his jaw clenching. What was the matter? She glanced down at his plate. Had he swallowed down the wrong pipe or something?

Eric drank Maritza’s water with long, deep drafts, as if he was trying to quench a heavy thirst or put out a five-alarm fire on his tongue. But she couldn’t imagine his lobster tail was unbearably salty or spicy.

Then, setting the glass down, he drew in a breath and held it. Oh, crap.

He was rubbing his mouth again. Maritza rested her hand on Eric’s thigh and gave it a squeeze, hoping he’d welcome a comforting touch. He glanced at her and offered her a flicker of a smile.

When he exhaled, discreetly, Maritza saw Eric’s head jerk back within a couple seconds. “Didn’t work?” she asked in a low voice. He shut his head, running his hand through his hair.

Stress tell number three—the whole trifecta. Eric hiccupped again, keeping it completely silent. But Maritza caught the head jerk.

She couldn’t really blame him for being on edge. Maritza wouldn’t want to have the hiccups in front of these guys, either. Remembering how he’d helped her at his grandpa’s party, she whispered, “Do you want to go to the bathroom? I can come meet you in a minute or two, if you want some help.”

“Yo, Langdon!” This was Jason’s voice, and while it startled Eric, it unfortunately wasn’t enough to scare his hiccups away. He suppressed another.

As he turned toward Jason, Maritza saw Eric wait for his next stifled hiccup before he said, “What?”

Jason laughed. “You asleep over there or just eye-fucking Maritza?”

Eric cleared his throat. “What is it?” he asked, getting the question out between hiccups.

“Aspen or Vail?” Jason prompted.

“Oh.” Eric rubbed his knuckles across his mouth as he muffled another hiccup. “I’m not really that big a-*hup!*-a skier.” Maritza could practically see him willing himself not to cringe.

Most folks at the table didn’t seem to react—maybe they didn’t notice, but then Danielle cooed, “Ohhh, Langdon, do you have the hiccups?”

If blushes showed up on Eric’s complexion, Maritza would’ve bet money that he’d have been beet red. Ducking his head, he ran his fingers through his hair. “Oh,” he mumbled. “Um, y-- yeah.” He pressed his knuckles to his mouth and hiccupped again.

Brody laughed and Jason smirked, while Lindsey rolled her eyes. “Oh, poor thing!” Danielle cried. “Here, let me.” She signaled one of the servers. “Excuse me! We need more water over here!”

“No, it-*hmmp!*-it’s fine,” Eric insisted. “I already tri-- tried that.”

“Not like this, you haven’t,” Danielle replied. Adding an exasperated, “Not mine, his!”, she honest-to-god snapped her fingers at the server as she motioned for him to refill Eric’s glass.

Eric sank down a little in his chair. He held in another hiccup, then mumbled, “Thank you,” to the server, rubbing the bridge of his nose.

Maritza winced. According to Olivia, when Eric’s stress tells persisted, headaches probably weren’t far behind. “Look, Danielle, just don’t worry about it, okay?” she offered. “It’s not a big deal.”

Normally, that’s probably what Eric would’ve said about getting the hiccups, “not a big deal.” Tonight, though, they very much were. But based on Eric’s reaction, Maritza didn’t doubt that Danielle making a fuss over him was the worst part of it.

“It’s fine, rea--*huck!*” Eric pressed his lips together and cleared his throat. “Uh, really.” He drew his fingers through his hair, at the back of his head this time.

“No, this works every time,” Danielle assured him. 

“Come on, Langdon,” Jason needled, in a tone that suggested he wanted to settle in with some popcorn and watch the show.

“It works every time,” Lindsey echoed, amused.

Eric’s head jerked back with a silent hiccup as he rubbed the spot between his eyes. “What do I h-- have to do?” he asked in a low voice.

“Here,” Danielle said, handing him the water. “Try and drink it from the wrong side of the glass.”

Jaw clench. “That doesn’t wor-*herk!*-k on me,” Eric explained.

“Just try it!” Danielle urged.

“Yeah—it can’t hurt,” Hayley pointed out.

Eric’s sigh was interrupted by a “*hic-ulp!*”, and he snapped his mouth shut. “Whatever,” he muttered. He pushed his chair back a little and leaned forward, putting his mouth on the far rim of the glass.

Jason’s eyes shone as he argued, “Hey, man, not like that!” Eric paused and, muffling a hiccup, turned to him with a puzzled frown. “You have to do it properly. Stand up.”

Eric swiped his hand across his mouth. “I’m not doing tha-- at.”

“It is a lot easier to do it standing up,” Danielle noted.

With a self-conscious glance at all the people dining around them, Eric replied flatly, “I’ll ma-AN-age.”

Before anyone else could say something, he bent forward again and started to drink. It was a little awkward—the Camden crew, naturally, thought the whole thing was funny—but Eric managed to down the glass with minimal spilling.

“There,” Eric said, straightening back up and setting the glass on the table. He rose from his chair. “Be right back.”

“Aww, that wasn’t so bad, was it, Langdon?” Brody joked.

“It worked, right?” Danielle asked.

"Okay, we've just had dinner, I've been drinking water all day, I just went to pee, so hopefully I won't need to when...all the stuff happens..."

"I can deal with it if you do, Terri. I'm a nurse, I've cleaned worse."

"Yeah, so I shouldn't make you do more of it."

Terri heard Afsoon sigh, and she could feel her eyes following her as she paced rapidly back and forth in the shared space of their apartment. "You'd think after however many months we've been doing this, you'd be less anxious about it." Exactly seven months tonight, but who was counting?

...Terri. Terri was counting. And she knew for a fact her roommate was too, given that Afsoon had playfully bought her a six-month anniversary cake the last full moon and let her eat the whole thing in preparation.

Given how these nights went, it felt weirdly appropriate.

Terri stopped that thought in its tracks and wrenched her brain away from fantasies of what was going to happen later, away from her gorgeous, chubby roommate in her pretty fucking nightgown who was way too fucking calm for where she knew this was going, and away from wanting to kiss and/or lick her, given that the fucking sun was barely out of the sky. No. None of that. She forced her thoughts back to her checklist. Ropes? No. She didn't do that anymore. No muzzling either. Afsoon insisted after the second month. No tranquilizers. Those had been the first thing to go. When Afsoon found out what she was doing with them, Terri was half surprised she didn't turn into a horrifying monster out of sheer rage.

...that wasn't funny. But for some reason, those jokes kept finding their way from Afsoon's lips into Terri's head anyway.

Lock all the doors? Done. Put away any breakables? Done. Prepare, um...implements? That was, uh...that was Afsoon's job. She'd take care of that as necessary. Just thinking about it made Terri's face burn.

Finally tell the full truth?

...no.

The shame balled up in her gut as she knew she wasn't going to do that tonight. She wasn't going to do it any night. And it wasn't like she'd lied. She'd never intended to. It was just...

It was complicated.

"Hey." Afsoon's hand landed on her shoulder, and Terri whipped around, a bit of drool ending up on her cheek as she realized that her teeth and tongue were crowding the inside of her mouth. "It's okay." Afsoon's voice was soft and kind, and she stared at Terri with warm, brown eyes. "Deep breaths, Ter. Deep breaths." Despite the tension in her chest and her thoughts sinking heavier into her mind, Terri shut her eyes tight and forced herself to inhale, slowly and carefully, before it coughed and shuddered unsteadily out of her. "Good. Again." Afsoon breathed deeply and demonstratively, and even with her eyes shut, Terri could hear the way the air flowed through her, feel her body's position subtly change through their touch, just barely smell the mint of her toothpaste. Her face ached. Her body ached. She breathed. "Good girl. Just keep breathing."

"U'm—" Terri tried to speak, the pronoun swallowed by the changing shape of her mouth. "U'm showrr—"

"Shhh. Shh shh shh. It's okay." Afsoon pulled her into her arms, even though Terri knew she must have been drooling onto her shoulder, and she could feel herself growing against her, feel her bones shifting and creaking inside of her body. "You're clinging to yourself, Terri. I know it's hard. I know it's hard to let go. But it's okay. It's safe. I promise, I'll catch you."

Her brain was getting foggier and foggier, and even though Terri was pretty sure she'd said this before, she wasn't certain, and she needed to be sure Afsoon knew. "N-Noh wowried abough me—"

"I know, Terri, I know. But you don't have to worry about me either. Trust me. I've handled far more belligerent patients than you."

She knew what those words meant. She knew she did. But right now, she couldn't grasp them. They were somewhere far away inside of her brain. It always happened so much faster than she was ready for. But she could hear the smirk in Afsoon's voice. The confidence. And she could feel her grip on her tighten, not painfully, almost comfortingly, reminding Terri of Afsoon's strong, well padded muscles in contrast to her own atrophied ones. "Hhhh...hhhhhh...!" She tried to figure out how to say...something. Anything. Whatever it was that she was supposed to say.

"I know. I know. It's okay, Terri. It's okay. Come on, let's come down to the floor here. I know being up on the furniture makes you nervous while you're still changing." Long nails trailed and combed through her hair, briefly scratching behind one of Terri's slowly growing, moving ears. Terri huffed. She didn't mean to, but she did. And when Afsoon knelt down, she fell instinctively onto all fours and didn't even try to stay up. "Good girl. Yeah, that's my clever girl." Good girl. Those words sent a shiver down her spine. A wrong sort of shiver. She could feel herself growing in all the wrong ways. Something was clinging to her. Something was on her body. Something— "Ready to get those clothes off, huh?"

Clothes. Right. Clothes. Fuck, how had she forgotten so quickly? She couldn't let Afsoon see her like this. Naked, scared, halfway through her disgusting transformation. She couldn't— "Hey. I hear you thinking in there." A tap to her forehead made Terri open her eyes for the first time in a while. Afsoon looked into her, but it wasn't scary. It wasn't dominant. At least, not in a cruel way. It still made Terri feel like she was under control, though. "It's okay, Terri. We've done this before, we'll do it again. Now let me help you get your shirt off, okay?"

Terri nodded. It took her a moment to remember how to do that, but she did it. She nodded. Her head was heavier than before. Especially the front of it. Afsoon reached over her and grabbed the back of her shirt, pulling the neck up and over her head before carefully running it down her arms, helping Terri take out one hand, then the other. If you could still call them hands. The fingers thickening and shortening. The nails elongating into claws. "Okay, we can wait on the skirt and panties since I know you hate that part. Let me get your bra, though. You always get uncomfortable with it once the fur really starts growing in."

Bra...the thing still on her chest. She wore those now. Terri tried to lift her arms to hide her breasts, but her sense of balance was gone and she fell forward, only stopped from hitting the floor by Afsoon catching her. "Nope. Mostly a quadruped now, remember? Stay on the ground. Only one paw up at a time." Terri growled. She wasn't sure why, and she immediately lowered her head and whimpered apologetically, but Afsoon laughed, and Terri realized that it was a joke. A playful growl. A conversation they had again and again about calling her hands and feet "paws" before they were actually fully like that. Breath huffed out of her in a laugh too, as much as she could. Half-laugh, half-growl. "Yeah yeah, I know." Afsoon's voice was playful too, and she touched at Terri's back—at her bra, right—and unhitched it, letting it fall forward off of her arms so she could step out of it one paw—one hand at a time.

"*hrnk!*" Fuck, it was starting. It was starting. This always happened. She knew this always happened. But even so, something inside of Terri started to panic while something outside of her started to grow. "*HRNK-rrlk!* Nnnnhhh!" She whined as her stomach jolted outward, still just a bit overstuffed with food, which somewhere far away she knew was being rapidly digested to feed the transformation into the beast. But much more important, she lowered her head down and curled in on herself, trying to hide that...thing between her legs. Arms in. Head down. Tail in. Tail...what there was of her tail. She didn't know how much of it there was yet. "*HRNK-llk!* RRrrrrrhhhhh...!" she whined, writhing with shame and fear and confusion and frustration and—

"Breathe, Terri. Breathe." There was a hand on her back. Warm. The pressure slightly muted. Not skin to skin right now. Still good though. "As best you can, anyway. I know you've got the hiccups." That word! Every bit of Terri stood on end as her whole body pulsed and she whined. "I know, Terri. I know. And that's okay. There's nothing to be worried or ashamed about. It might make breathing a bit harder, but I still need you to try and do it for me, alright?"

A nod. She forced herself to nod again. Her chin was to the ground, so it barely worked. Terri would show her instead. She forced air in a stuttering, staccato pace into her lungs, interrupted by another hiccup that made her muscles twitch, then exhaled it out in much the same way. "Again." Afsoon's voice was commanding, but kind, and Terri breathed again. In, hiccup, out, hiccup. Afsoon kept rubbing her back, the gentle pressure so comforting, not flinching even as she bounced back against it. "Keep going, Terri. You're doing such a good job tonight." Good. She was doing good. Her tail wagged. "Yeah. Exactly like that. Good girl."

Good girl.

Terri's body melted against Afsoon, still whimpering and hiccuping as she continued to change, but the panic easing out of her. The anxiety wasn't gone, but it was getting further away. Especially with the kind hums above her as she laid her head in Afsoon's lap and the feeling of her nails as they kept combing through her growing fur. Something in her said she should feel guilty about enjoying this so much. But that something got harder and harder to reach as she changed. And soon, Terri's focus was pulled out of her thoughts and into her body, moving from breath to breath, and waiting from hiccup to hiccup.

"*HRK!* Rrrrrhhhgh...*HNK*–ggrrhhh. *HRK-RRK!* Grruh!"

Terri half barked at her hiccups, and she heard giggling above her. Afsoon's nails were still combing over her. "Aww, poor thing. You're calming down now though. That's so good." Of course she was calm. Why wouldn't she be? Everything was the way it was supposed to be. Her belly wasn't hungry. She would like more food, she always would, but there was no yawning chasm inside like there used to be. The person she liked most was touching her. She had the hiccups, and that made her feel really good. Though, now that she thought about it, something was keeping her dick trapped close to her body, and she squirmed against it and tried to kick at whatever that was. "Finally ready to get the skirt and panties off, huh?" The voice above her was warm, amused, and so familiar. So familiar and so so so beloved. Terri leaned up and lapped her tongue across Afsoon's face to make sure that she knew. Afsoon laughed more. "Hahaha, okay, okay. Let me help you out, big girl."

Girl. Terri felt her tail wagging. Somewhere far away, she sort of understood the words. She knew generally what Afsoon was going to do and knew how to move as she pulled those cloth things off of her waist and out from her legs, leaving her free and naked to wriggle against the soft, carpeted ground. But for reasons she didn't fully understand, "girl" was one of her favorite words. Right next to "good" and "food" and—"*HRK-rrk!* Hhrrrrrr..."

She heard more of Afsoon's beautiful laugh and felt her warm hands on her belly, rubbing roughly through her fur and making Terri writhe happily underneath her. "Hiccup hiccup, huh, Terri?" Hearing the words, Terri writhed more, whining and yipping between the noises that kept coming out of her. "Yeeaaaah. Poor girl. You got the hiccups pretty bad, don'tcha? I can feel how bouncy they are inside of your tummy." She patted her hands firmly against Terri's stomach, tapping out a beat, a concept that she wasn't sure why she knew, but it didn't really matter. What mattered was that she kept hiccuping and Afsoon kept rubbing her tummy, her hands pressing firmly against it whenever it bounced, and that pressure pulsing downward from her belly and into her cock, which was dribbling already into her fur. "All that changing does some weird things to your diaphragm, huh? I guess we're pretty lucky that's not a problem for you."

"*HRK-glk* Hhrrrrrrr–*RRK!*" Terri whined and tried to curl up, trying to use her frontmost paws like she knew she did sometimes, like she knew she could do just like Afsoon did, but her body didn't bend the way that she meant it to, her dick far out of reach. Even so, the motions of her belly made her dick twitch, and looking up at Afsoon didn't help. Terri's tongue hungrily lolled out of her mouth, and she huffed desperately at her.

"Awww. Terri's got the hiiiic-cups~" Afsoon would sing sometimes. Mostly longer, softer songs. But that little, tiny one was always Terri's favorite and least favorite. Her whole body curled in and she whined, trying to hide her face in her paws as her hips helplessly thrust against nothing. "You do! You've got the hiccups, Terri!" Afsoon gave her tummy a few rough scratches through the fur, her hand bouncing right along with it as she hiccuped. Her other hand moved higher up, starting to rub and press into Terri's chest, finding the strange, soft parts she'd been growing. Teats? For some reason, Terri had teats now?

Whyever that was, they were incredibly sensitive, and she whimpered, her tail wagging so hard that it was slapping Afsoon's legs as she knelt to her side to keep petting her torso. "You're such a silly, hiccupy girl." Terri's tail wagged even faster, and Afsoon moved up so she could take Terri's face and gently squish it between her hands, roughly playing with it. "Yes you are," her voice took on a slight growl as she played more, grinning down at her. "You're my silly, hiccupy little puppy." Terri whined and barked up at her, though her bark was cut off by a hiccup that made her whine more, and Afsoon laughed. Her smile then softened, and the way she gazed down at Terri made her almost forget that her hiccups or anything else in the world existed, just staring up at her. "I can't believe that you thought I should be afraid of you. Of course you're just as sweet like this, Terri. Of course you are."

After a moment, Afsoon leaned over, wrapping her arms around Terri's shoulders (to the extent that was what she had), and moving her full body over her bouncing chest and belly, letting a bit of her weight rest on her as she nuzzled in. Terri huffed softly and wrapped her legs around her as best she could, a small frustrated growl catching between her hiccups. She knew that this was supposed to be easier, and that it was easier sometimes, but when she was like that she never actually tried to hug her. She let out a few small barks and snarls that her hiccups mostly let her get away with, tail thumping with annoyance at the version of her that could never tell Afsoon a single thing, even though she was the one with the voice.

"Hey, you okay?" Afsoon lifted her head off of Terri's chest and looked down at her, running a hand over her furry cheek. For lack of a better way to say that she was, Terri tilted her head up and lapped at Afsoon's face again, making her laugh. "O-hokay, okay. I'm glad to hear it, you goober." She wrapped her hands around her face and gave her ears a few scritches before pushing herself up to kneel by her side again. "Still pretty hiccupy though, huh?" Terri hiccuped to answer, it coming out louder than most of them, and she wriggled and tried to hide her face again. "Yeah," Afsoon giggled, rubbing her tummy again. "I bet you're thinking about getting rid of 'em, huh?" Terri's tail started wagging faster, and she felt her cock twitch as Afsoon said that, her hands moving up to rub over her sensitive chest again. "Well then," Afsoon's face curled into a smirk. "How about I go and get you a nice, cool bowl of water so you can—"

"GROUF! *HRK!*" Terri barked at Afsoon, who burst out laughing. Seeing her laugh, Terri just barked more, rolling onto her feet for the first time and shaking herself off so she could get right in her face. That wasn't how Terri wanted to cure her hiccups and she knew it! "rr–*hrk*–rrrraugh raof! *HK-rrk!*" She dipped her head to try and shove it under Afsoon's bowed chin and force herself into her line of sight.

After some more laughter, Afsoon playfully shoved her away. Terri was always caught off guard by how much stronger Afsoon was than her, even though she was so much bigger. "Okay, okay, I know what you mean." Afsoon sighed, then knelt up and shoved Terri again, pushing her more gently onto her side, then rolling her onto her back again, her legs falling open along with her mouth, breath coming out in huffs between her hiccups, and leaving her chest and belly completely open and bouncing for anyone to see. Terri's tail started wagging harder at that possibility, her face warming under her fur. "I know what you mean, Terri." Afsoon moved from looming over her to laying by Terri's side, and Terri looked over to see her, watching her lean on one hand while rubbing the other up and down her chest and belly. "Never realized this was going to be part of the job description when you told me you turned into an 'evil beast' once a month." Terri growled and huffed, rolling her eyes at the memory and the knowledge of saying and thinking those things. Afsoon's smile got a little...warmer, but somehow also meaner, and her hand went lower. "Not that I'm complaining." She wrapped around Terri's shaft, and Terri whimpered between her hiccups. "At least I get to do this with some part of you."

Afsoon spoke so softly. Terri wasn't sure she realized that she could still hear her. She'd heard it before, and it always made her sad and frustrated and so so so determined to do something about it once she could talk again, and even though she was the other her, she could still never fucking understand why she didn't actually do the thing she wanted to do! All those worries, all those thoughts, all those words and words and words all the goddamn time, so many that they even infected her when she was like this! Like now! She didn't want words, she wanted—

At the first stroke, Terri let out a high-pitched combination of whines and hiccups, and all those stupid thoughts started floating away as she pulled back into her body again. Her hiccupy body with a bouncy belly and sensitive teats along with her cock, so hard it was starting to ache. She wriggled, and Afsoon's laughter just made her wriggle more, bouncing again and again with every hiccup. "Yeah, you really like it, huh, cutie?" Afsoon moved to sit up again, using the hand that wasn't stroking Terri off to scratch her behind the ears before drifting around the side of her head, along her neck, then down to her soft, swollen chest. Terri writhed, then yelped when Afsoon's fingers tripped over one of her nipples. "Oh shoot, you oka—" Terri thrust her hips harder into Afsoon's hand, trying to somehow push her chest and her cock up towards her at once, even though her hiccuping belly kept straightening her out again. She heard more of Afsoon's wonderful laugh. "Okay, glad to hear it, Ter. But let me know if you need me to stop, okay?" Just the opposite. Terri never wanted this to stop. She wanted Afsoon to keep touching and rubbing her and for her body to stay warm and big and hungry and hiccupy forever, to just stay like this.

...well, maybe not just like this. Maybe her teats would keep growing. Maybe her belly would get bigger too. Maybe the reason this had happened was Afsoon had somehow put a litter of pups into her. She had no idea how that'd be possible, but if anyone could figure out how, it would be her. Or maybe she could turn Afsoon over and fill her up with puppies instead. She dreamed about that all the time, breeding with her, being on top of her, her body not able to stop hiccuping with excitement as she filled her to the brim, and maybe Afsoon hiccuping under her too, under her spell, feeling good like she did some nights. Afsoon hadn't let her yet, but Terri wanted so bad to make her feel good too, to lick up the juices between her thick thighs, to drink in the smell of her, to learn every part of her soft chubby body and just—

"*HRK!*–HHHhhrrrr!" Fuck, she was so close. Fuck, Terri had gotten so close so fast. She hadn't even realized it, and she writhed against the ground, growling and snapping and kicking her legs as she tried to thrust further into the warmth of Afsoon's hand. "*HN-nrrk!* hrrrRRUFF! Gurrugh! *HUK!*" Her barking let a hiccup come out completely unmuffled, sounding halfway like another yelp between her snarls, and her quick breath made her hiccups start to come faster and faster.

"Good girl, Terri." Afsoon's soft voice made her whimper and whine, and when Terri looked up at her, the way she was smiling at her made her whine even more.

I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you

If only her stupid stupid stupid other self would actually tell her that!

Terri tried to make her know the only way she knew how, flipping over and climbing over Afsoon. Afsoon yelped, clearly surprised by that, and for once Terri managed to overpower her, getting on top and licking her face all over, her hips continuing to thrust against nothing. She didn't care. Even as she was hiccuping and humping, it didn't matter one one-billionth as much as trying to let Afsoon know how much she loved her. 

Or, at least, that's how she meant it to be. But when Afsoon lifted a leg underneath her, Terri's out of control hips brushed her cock against Afsoon's clothed knee, and that was enough and too much, leaving her hiccuping tightly as her whole body tensed, and her hips couldn't stop rocking as she finally came, spurting lines of white all over Afsoon's beautiful body.

All the thoughts were trying to come back into Terri's head, even though she couldn't even start to understand them. She whimpered and whined, back curling, hackles raising, good feelings overwhelming, but bad feelings forcing themselves into her through the cracks. But then there was a hand against her face again. "Hey. Hey, Terri, hey." Terri opened her eyes and saw Afsoon smiling softly up at her, and a small whimper coughed and hiccuped out of her. "Hey. It's okay, Terri. It's okay. You were a very good girl."

Good girl.

Terri just melted over Afsoon at those words, flopping down on top of her. She heard the "Oof!" underneath her, but didn't want to get up. "O-okay, okay, hang on, Terri. Let me clean us both up first at least." Afsoon gently rolled her over, walking away, then coming back with a warm, wet washcloth, which she started running over Terri's sticky belly. Terri growled and grumbled, feeling the water seep down to her skin. "Yeah, I know. Don't worry, I'll try and dry you off too. Just let me get changed."

God, Terri was so tired.

Why wouldn't she just sleep during the day? This was the only time that she could be like this, why wouldn't she just fucking—

Afsoon came back before she could get too deep into her frustration. "Tuckered out already?" Terri weakly "rrrRuff"-ed up at her. "Yeah, that makes sense. Well, I'm not just letting you go to sleep on the floor. hhhhHup!" She made a sound almost like a hiccup that made Terri do something like groaning as Afsoon picked her up from the ground. "Hwoof. You're getting heavier, big girl." Terri whined. "Don't worry, that's a good thing. You were too thin, and you're building your muscle mass back up. Might mean that you'll have to get better at walking yourself pretty soon, though."

Even though she said that, Afsoon managed to haul Terri over to her bed. It smelled like Afsoon. Terri was so glad that she let her stay here these nights. She watched Afsoon get changed, and she hiccuped a few times at seeing her naked. She wished that she'd stay that way. Wished she'd let her see her like that for longer. But she didn't complain when she didn't. Because once Afsoon was redressed, she would join her in bed, cuddling up to her and burying her face in her fur. "You're such a good girl, Terri," she said, her voice heavy and soft. Terri nosed down at her to sneak a small lick to her face, and Afsoon giggled. "You're such a good girl." She paused with a yawn. It was never long after she laid down that Afsoon went to sleep. "I love you so much, Terri." Terri whined and nosed more, and Afsoon laughed softly and looked up at her. "I know. I know, Terri." Her warm, brown eyes made Terri's heart thump in her chest. "I know you love me too." The smile on her face got sadder, though, and she hid her face more completely in Terri's fur. "I just wish that you'd remember it whenever I say that."

She did though.

Terri did remember.

The first time that she woke up after Afsoon took care of her, Afsoon had told her (with more than a little embarrassment for both of them) how the night had gone, and Terri had been horrified to realize that, without the drugs in her system, she remembered every moment of it.

And she loved every moment of it.

She loved feeling simple and cared for and free. She loved wanting her fully, without any reservation. She loved being in her body, being nothing but instinct and pleasure, with nothing but warmth and safety to spend herself on. 

Terri hated words when she was like this. Words were what made her hate herself every other night of the month. Words were what made everything so complicated and bad. But she knew she loved some words. And she knew that she needed them. So as her body fell towards sleep along with Afsoon, she made her mind say them again and again, so that maybe tomorrow she'd listen.

Tell her. Tell her tell her tell her tell her tell her.