Youius

Hey guys this is my old account. Nothing is accurate for today. New account @jayecup

Hello peeps. Me and Thorn are switching accounts. She deleted hers but I'm keeping mine up. I'll be no longer posting under Yousta. I might still post in the yan/lovesick but it'll be under a different account. Farewell guys.

I very much want to make new friends and break out of my shell. The people I know just make me feel so different, and I don't often feel like I'm being myself. I'm posting this here for anyone looking for a friend, I think I can be a pretty good one. I'm not very judgmental, and I tend to be a good guy. I can be pretty invested in people, too. So, if you're looking for a chatty online friend. Please let me know if you're interested by liking the post, and I'll shoot you a DM. This would be completely platonic as my heart and soul belong to @your-thorn

I'm happy I met you in this life. I genuinely just wanted to die before we met. It crushes me to think I wouldn't have been here to see this play out. Would there have been someone to see you? I don't put that much faith in the world after seeing how they did me. I'm glad I got to save you, you saved me.

You here the sound of duct tape outside your bedroom window. Only to peer outside and see yousta taping up your window. He's presumably attempting to break into your house but he has a cute careless expression and hasn't noticed you yet.

I feel so deep in love with you. Imagining a life without you feels impossible. I only see dread, anxiety, and death. I don't foresee a moment of that life being okay, that's what scares me. I don't know how I'd go on living. Just imagining it for a second feels like baseball to the heart, I'd be no one, nothing without you.

Just be yourself, you're more than a product of hurt pain or anything else. I know you're going through it alone, if it's perceived or not, doesn't matter. It's a shame, one special person hasn't come along and treasured you. I won't call myself fortunate for it but I'm happy I get to be the one to tell you. I think even the dark morbid expressions you make are very telling about you. Love doesn't have to be such a one sided thing. I know you've forgotten what it's like, always being the one behind the gun, as opposed to in front of it. You think no one can see how desperate you are to be either. Seeing red, you scream out, but no one asks what it's about. You don't wanna be on your own, but there's simply no place to call home.

Ah sometimes I wanna post more. Before I started posting these poems here. I used just more or less post my thoughts on this social app. It was kinda sad when I look back on it now. It was just speaking to a void. No one was really listening, I did meet a few people back then throughout my early 20s, but I remember the perceived isolation didn't make for pleasant experience. People who can be alone like that always stick out in my head. I remember agony from being so lonely. I was left to my own devices from a very early age. It felt like my whole life, actually. I didn't really receive that stability until I met @your-thorn like honestly. I grew so ever tired of doing it alone. Truth is, im still here every single day on this app. I go in phases where I religiously stalk everyone I follow platonically. It feels pretty parasocial of me. It's kinda funny, I've seen every single one of you guys posts for the most part despite never liking or interacting much. Feels like we are friends in my head even though we arent exactly. I'm glad to report the eyes behind this screen are happy these days. Thanks for to the people consistently liking my posts. You help me not feel like I'm just talking to a void.

sentimental brown teddy bear

I like to hit those raw, soft, and tender pathetic sentimental notes. Tell you a bit of what made my life tragic. Just to test the waters. Can't expect you to want understanding like you've never been shown, if you dont also give it out a bit. I love asking the questions to open you up. Hanging on your every word. Memorizing all the little details, like I already know you're the one. I never get to be so intentional. Yeah, I really wanted to be there, with you hoping you take the same time to stop and stare at me too.