Yours Truly

And it’s almost all necessary.

His last name {using translations} is Pinecone for the context

He got pulled over by a cop for a routine check when driving and got asked for his name and last name and it looked like this

- last name

- Pinecone

- where from

- Pinecone forest {THIS FUCKER LIVES IN A VILLAGE CALLED A PINECONE FOREST 😭 THIS IS THE LEGAL DAMN NAME}

- a what

- Pinecone from the Pinecone forest

And it pissed me off so badly that I spent the ENTIRE WORK DAY today compiling evidence from every project my team has ever done for her, pulling past emails she’d sent us, putting together an entire case proving that she had been the problem all along. That she got projects mixed up, that she’d made requests that were nonsensical, literally everything you could possibly imagine. Screenshots of emails, reports we’d submitted, EVERYTHING.

This woman in particular has been terrorizing my team for years, her name is almost a slur in my office, I had simply had ENOUGH of her.

I put all of this evidence together and sent it to all of my bosses at 4:30pm. Then I took a long break to eat a sweet treat and drink some tea.

After my break, my bosses all called in an emergency meeting with me and they said they read my report and fucking loved it. And I sat on a teams call with my boss’ boss as she wrote my nemesis the scathing email I had always fantasized about sending, using the evidence I’d compiled, and hit send.

To quote the book:

"Besides, if I had a nickel for every time I wanted to smack a kid's parents for not teaching them even the most basic things... well... I'd have enough nickels to put in a sock and smack those parents with it."

Combined my Calvin and Hobbes parody with an artfight attack on @zanoscar’s writer Kahlo

He doesn’t call them out on it cause that might mean that they will actually research phrases more and second guess themselves a lot. And that would mean the cards would stop. Which would be a shame.

But like this he gets a fun little puzzle every week or so where he tries to guess what the committee is trying to say this time. He can rate the cards on funniness and clarity!

Now take this logic and apply it to things like ADHD, autism, clinical depression, and other less visible/divergent disabilities. You cannot think your way out of feeling.