I be running my fingers through my bush pondering ancient wisdoms

the people’s princess (travis kelce) is marrying the leader of the free world (taylor swift) and my heart is so full

sometimes I almost forget slut is a derogatory term. it's so friend shaped to me. I love when things are slutty. I love sluts and slutting it up. it's a cute word. make every day sluttier than your last. sluttttt

the kink bloggers found this post and are putting horny stuff in my notifications but I'm not even mad. the sluts are in the notes of the slut positivity post. all is as it should be.

happy 250 years of independence!

opens news article. closes three pop up ads. backs out of the survey page i was redirected to. closes a pop up video ad. rejects cookies to make the cookie window go away. dismisses the requests to receive notifications from the website and the offers to sign up for it. dodges ninja lasers and poisonous arrow traps. body of the page is finally visible. i have reached my monthly limit and can’t read the article

btw it's so fucking stupid you can be anxious physically in your body even after you've decided mentally you don't care. I'm supposed to be in charge here

shane knew ilya would make fun of him for the stylist thing. that was an olive branch. shane knew ilya wouldn't be able to resist such a perfect set up and he's right! this is coming off the back of ilya's very loaded "maybe it will give us a chance to get to know each other." and it just reads to me as shane going, "but we do! here is this dumb thing i've done and i'm giving you leave to make fun of me because i've missed you. i'm being boring! make fun of me, please"

me after a minor inconvenience: i hope i get hit by a [remembers i’m anti car-centric infrastructure] pedestrian

“can’t believe women fought to work!! i don’t wanna work!!” women have Been Working they fought to get Paid you know that right ?