hiya~

Warnings: toxic parent, parents divorced

Just got into an argument with my parent and I needed to vent so here you guys go 🙂‍↔️ Levi is the best best friend ever and I needed that last week.

Also very much so unedited LOL

Includes : levi, Hange, Erwin

AOT MODERN AU

Your parents had divorced when you were 17. Your sister was 13. Between graduating high school and helping your sister focus on her own studies you didn’t have time to mourn the loss. The loss was of your family, your mother.

In college is where you met your best friend, Levi. Erwin and Hange soon followed after.

It was two weeks in school. You were buried in quizzes, tests, and essays.

The library was full, and you were sitting at a table with four chairs. Your textbooks had taken over the table.

A few students had walked in and out of the library and you ignored them.

Until a hand slammed on your textbook.

You didn’t look up hoping it was a mistake.

Then the fingers began drilling as if impatient. Finally, a voice interrupted your thoughts, “um excuse me?”

You looked up to come face to face with a girl who resembled that of a typical high school bully.

I thought for sure we’d left that behind, you thought to yourself.

Choosing kindness you responded, “yes?” With a smile.

She began popping her gum, blowing a bubble before she continued, “My friends and I need this table.  There’s only one of you, so get up.”

You snorted, unable to take her seriously.

Her eyes narrowed, “Did I say something funny?”

You shook your head, “No sorry I just had something in my throat. I’m sitting here because the one person tables don’t have enough room for my textbooks.” You attempted to explain despite knowing you could have just said no and ignored her.

She stood up fully now, “Well maybe if you weren’t so dumb you wouldn’t need all this space to study.” She rolled her eyes.

You weren’t much of a bully and your own insults didn’t come easy. So, all you could do was stutter, “Uh…”

A new voice joined the convo. “Maybe if you weren’t a high school bully you abominable flamingo then we can all study in peace. Because you know, it is a study hall.” He spoke from behind you.

You turned your head just as the girls gasped. There stood a guy you could recognize from your other classes.

Levi something. The girl attempted to speak but shutting her up again he spoke, “You have an entire life to be an idiot. Why not take the day off?”

This time you couldn’t help but snorting. You caught it as your hand raised as if you were coughing. The girl glared at you but did walk away.

You turned to say thanks, but he was already walking away and towards a table where a blonde guy was sitting and a brown-haired girl. She was wearing glasses and waving dramatically at you.

Hesitantly you waved back. Despite the woman grinning and waving Levi didn’t look back.

You smiled at the memory. The next day, the girl tried to stop you in the hallway. But the girl who you learned was named Hange swooped in and dragged you away ignoring them.

She explained that if you were going to be such a target of bullying it would be smart to stick to them. You were exceptionally grateful. Most of your classes were with all three of them and if not at least one of them.

You were interested in becoming a professor and you soon learned they all were too. Erwin loved history. Hange science. Hilariously enough Levi and you both were interested in Literature.

Which is how you all ended up where you were now.

You and Hange were roommates. Levi lived alone and Erwin with his wife.

Petra Erwin’s wife had been out of town on a girl’s trip. So, you and Hange decided to have them over for an easy dinner.

Easy for Hange seeing as she loved to clean. You took on the cooking role often.

You’d already planned dinner and the beef was marinated ready for you to cook. You were currently picking up your sister as your dad was called into work for a Tech Reserve.

He’d be gone for the week.

You’d been listening to Ann your sister talk about her latest situation. She’d been laid off from her job with no warnings. It was a simple cleaning job she did 3 times a week. It was easy money and someone you all knew. She’d been working there for 3 years. And now at 19 she needed to start over. With a new resume and a new job. It hadn’t been a week since the message that your dad had pushed her to call every business down the street to see if they were hiring.

She currently wanted to work at a cafe, but he said no. Most of his reason based on paranoia alone. You attempted to give suggestions as to why he should let her work where she wanted but to no avail.

As you both arrived you parked the car in your driveway, “I’m going to call him, you can go ahead into the house. Hange is here,” you unlocked the car.

She turned to you uneasily, “if I can’t convince him, I don’t know that you can. And you know how he gets, why you moved out in the first place.”

You shook your head, “it doesn’t matter, I don’t live there anymore. He can't hurt me anymore. Besides, he must see reason.”

You both knew that wasn’t the case.

He was a great dad, he provided for all your needs and in days where you were short on money. He was there. Days you needed air in your tire, needed to borrow bug spray he was there.

But after the divorce, your father began comparing you to your cheating mother.

As a teenager you were still reeling from your own mother’s betrayal not just because she cheated… but also because she abandoned you and your sister. You wished so desperately for an escape. So, the first mention of needing a roommate from Hange you began working hard. Putting your affairs in order and saving money. When you turned 21 with your first teaching position you were out.

The first few months were blissful. No more comparing. No more sly comments, no more backhanded compliments. Or ordering around. Or doing things the way only HE wanted.

Apart of you felt sorry for leaving your own sister behind, but you had the tiniest inkling she’d be fine. Considering she was the favorite child. No matter how much she or he tried to deny it. It was all in the way he listened to her, or heard her out, didn't interrupt her, and even treated her like an adult. There were no backhanded compliments or talking about her in front of others.

Ann shrugged, before taking her bag and jumping out of the car. You watched her walk up to your front door before you opened your phone.

There were a few messages from the groupchat. Erwin saying he'd arrived. Hange letting you know she'd taken the meat out of the freezer. Levi texting you and the chat he was on the way with dessert and drink.

Knowing you were attempting to distract yourself from your task you opened the phone app. You took a deep breath, sliding to the contact that read 'Dadmight' and hit dial.

As he answered, you greeted one another as usual. The formalities were out of the way. Then he asked what was up.

Shakily you spoke, “Dad, I know you’re her parent and you have a right to give her suggestions. But don’t you think Ann should work where she wants to work? I mean at the end of the day, you may help her with her resume, and teach her how to do an interview but wherever she gets accepted she’ll have to do the job on her own. You won’t be able to help her or give suggestions. So she might as well,-“ he cut you off. You instantly could tell he was upset.

“No. Hush your mouth,” he began his own spill. You zoned out barely hearing his words. But recognizing a few.

Disrespectful. On your own. Relationship. Stay out of it. So many words ran together and just like when you were younger you keep your face blank. Your body moved out autopilot as you opened the car door. The anger in his voice was always the same. However cool night breeze instantly woke you. reminding you of your intentions.

“Hello? Did you hear me? I said-“ he began again repeating everything. You listened this time. As he accused you of trying to destroy his relationship with Ann. As he said your tone was disrespectful and how just because you moved out you didn’t get to talk to him that way.

“I’m not trying to attack you,” you cut in attempting to diffuse the situation.

“Be quiet! I’m not done, don’t interrupt me when I’m talking to you,” you attempted to not zone. Because of this a lump in your throat formed. As you fought to keep from blanking out every little word felt like an arrow hitting your body.

He was silent now.

“Okay dad, I’ll talk to you later. Bye,” you hung up the phone. Before you could start sobbing.

Apart of you angry at his disrespect but also angry at yourself. You didn’t live with him anymore. He couldn’t punish you or burst in your room and demand a conversation. You were on your own. In your own space that you built with Hange.

And he still affected you.

None of these thoughts helped you. Within in seconds, you started crying. Your tears kept coming without cause. You ripped your glasses off and through blurry eyes you swiped on your phone again and pressed on a new contact.

The phone rang and rang and rang. Until finally someone picked up.

You heard a familiar but weak voice. "Hello?"

"Mom?" You asked albeit a little confused. Your voice was clear but barely.

She sniffed clearing her throat, before answering you, "Yes? What's wrong?"

You cleared your throat enough to ask, "Are you crying? What's wrong?"

She began protesting, "No no I'm okay, what's up?"

You shook your head, "No you're crying!" You lost it again the tears spilling over, "we can't both be crying," the tears fell even harder. Your head aching at the sudden onslaught of tears.

Your mom sniffled again, "I'm sorry. Me and your aunt just got into it. What's wrong with you?" You could tell she wasn't in her right mind.

Still, you answered her question as she had yours, "Dad and I just got into it. But I'll just call you later, okay? Feel better," you mumbled as she agreed and said love you.

The conversation ended and you were not feeling any better. In fact, you were feeling worse. You took your glasses to your shirt, attempting to wipe the stain of tears off, before focusing on the cold tears on your face.

You didn’t notice a car had parked on your street. Or that Levi was walking towards you.

He didn’t seem to see your face, “I got that disgusting wine you like so much,” he raised the bottle as you attempted to wipe your tears. But they kept coming.

He stopped as he finally got a look at you.

“Are you crying?” He was close now, “Who were you talking to on that phone call?”

Phone call? Christ did he hear me? Panic hit you as you started laughing uneasily, “sorry the moon is just so pretty tonight,” you pointed up only to come face to face with clouds that were covering the moon. From the looks of it, the moon had been covered for awhile.

Levi’s expression turned deadpanned. As if he were saying, really? 

“Sorry,” you wiped the tears that had finally stopping coming, “dad and I just got into it. More like he laid into me,” you rolled your eyes.

You turned to your car, grabbing your own backpack from the back seat.

As you locked the door and began walking, he was in step with you. “You mean that heated voice was your dad?” His voice soured as if he couldn’t believe it.

You sighed, “Yeah. Well just now it was my mom. Before that it was my dad, I don’t think you’ve ever met him yet. He can be a bit of a jerk sometimes,” you turned to him now, “are my eyes red and can you tell I’ve been crying?” You asked hurriedly.

He paused. His eyes scanning your face. Before he could answer you assumed he was trying to find an easy way to say yes. Or a funny way knowing him.

“I knew it,” you turned your bag attempting to find a tissue, but he stopped you.

“No sorry, I was just admiring your beauty.” He spoke as if it were obvious.

You paused not expecting his direct words. Or the honesty. Before you could say anything else, he opened the door and walked in.

You could feel your cheeks warm but ignoring them you followed him shutting the door. You hung your backpack on the hooks where other purses and bags laid. You slipped your shoes off and your sweatshirt, leaving you in a pair of overalls and a frilly shirt. Sitting on the couch was your sister, Erwin and you assumed Hange was making drinks.

Your sister made a beeline for Levi pulling him an unwillingly hug. He humored her. And funny enough only her.

“Hey brat,” he pulled away from her.

You greeted Hange and Erwin and they smiled.

You grabbed the wine from his hand and headed straight for the kitchen. He followed behind you with your sister in tow.

She was sitting on the bar stools as you began washing your hands. You could tell she wanted to know how the phone call went.

Ann wouldn't be Ann if she didn't just say what was on her mind. And that she did.

"So, how'd it go?" She asked before popping a can of soda.

You'd already dried your hands and were rinsing out a glass of wine. Hange opened your 'disgusting wine' as Levi dubbed and was already pouring you a glass as you pulled out the beef you marinated just this morning.

You rolled your eyes, "How do you think it went?" You were annoyed, "then I tried to call mom and she was crying too! I told her we can't both be crying," you plugged in the rice cooker to prepare for the rice you were about to wash.

Ann snickered, "Not you both crying. What was up with her?"

You washed the rice in front of her at the sink now. "She said she got into it with her sister. I told her dad and I got into it and then I told her to get some rest. We hung up after that," you poured the rice out as your sister nodded.

Hange cut in with a glass of something, "I'm sorry did I just hear you say you got into it with your dad? I thought you left that behind," she leaned against the counter as you turned the stove on, throwing garlic with sesame oil in the pan.

You chuckled unamusedly, "Heh, yeah. See I did until he started being unreasonable towards Ann." You gestured now opening the pantry. You pulled the flour free so you could start on the Kimchi pancakes.

Erwin now joined all of you in the kitchen as Levi rolled his sleeves up preparing to clean up after you. You were too busy cooking and sipping to notice the small bit of trash you left behind. To Levi this was okay because it gave him something to do with his hands while you cooked for them.

Erwin set his beer on the bar pulling himself into the seat next to Anna, "How is he being unreasonable this time?" He asked curiously.

It had slipped your mind the last time your father truly got on your nerves you called Erwin. He brought you lunch at the day care you were interning at and listened to your agitated words. You were 19 at the time and your father had taken your car and your phone... all to make a point. You knew this to be the case because a few days later he'd given both items back. Erwin convinced you right then in there to NOT move out at 19 with only your recent check to your name. However, he offered his place as a refuge in case you ever needed it.

Thankfully, you had been able to hold out for a few more years.

Levi was surprised to hear Erwin's choice of words too. You'd chosen to keep Levi out of this part of your life, due to the fear that he and your father would become enemies. Of course, Levi never knew this.

As you remembered this, you came back from your thoughts to Ann explaining the situation. The others listened as she expressed her opinion on the situation. You poured the broccoli into a pan on the back of the stove, readying the sauce so it would steam just right.

"Do you want to tell us how the convo went?" Ann asked apart of curious but also cautious... between the two of you she was less likely to talk family business. You however had no qualms in this regard.

You mixed the Kimchi into the flour before setting the bowl in front of Ann. She pouted but got to work, as you leaned back and sipped.

"Yeah, so you know when I get excited sometimes I yell," you explained first.

Hange snickered, "Yell is an understatement. She was telling me about her latest enemies to lovers’ book in the car and I thought I lost my hearing."

You blushed deeply, your facial expression showing embarrassment, "Thank you Hange for proving the point that everyone else knows, I'm sure. Moving on," you stirred the broccoli before leaning against a counter again.

"So, I'm not sure if I was yelling or if it was my tone."

Ann cut in, "your tone can sometimes come across crazy."

You ignored her and kept talking, "I basically told him that even though he's Ann's parent he can help her or give her suggestions, but at the end of the day she's going to be the one doing the work. We all know whether you admit it or not you or a lazy person," you paused looking to Ann who was now flipping the first kimchi pancake.

"I am."

You bit a chuckle, "So I told him wouldn’t it make more sense if you let her work where she wants to work... so then she'll actually want to work and then later she can move up." You took a deep breath pausing for a moment to put the beef on the hot stove.

Hange was impatient. "So, what'd he say this time?"

You rolled your eyes, "First while I was talking, he told me to shut up and hush up and of course I laughed. Then he went into this spill about how I disrespect him and how I shouldn't talk to him in that tone. He said that just because I've moved out doesn't mean I can ruin his and Ann's relationship and that I needed to stay out of it," you were frustrated now.

The cup you were holding had been set down now and you were gripping the counter in anger, "Ugh I mean what makes him think I'm going to want to respect him if he treats me like that. I feel like every time we argue he treats me like dirt. Whether or not that's his intention that's how I feel," you turned to Hange now, "and this whole thing just made me truly realize why I dislike conversation about conflict or telling you how I feel. Any time I talked to him or try to tell him my point of view it turns into him thinking I'm attacking him or trying to take away his 'deserved' respect as a father. And then I shut down as you know Ann and so after the whole conversation and he finally went quiet I was just like, 'okay dad, I'll see you later,' and I just hung up. Then I was crying... not because of what he said or anything but because I was frustrated with myself for allowing him to still get to me." You couldn't look anyone in the eye as your felt your own frustration dissipate.

Hange was the first to speak up, "I'm sorry. I understand where you're coming from. Maybe with time he'll see our point of view. I feel like every time you mention him I want to like punch him in the face. Your dad is an interesting person, that's for sure."

You covered your mouth in shock before laughing at her statement. You then flipped the beef over in the pan as your laughed turned into a snicker.

Levi spoke up next surprising you, "What do you mean you 'shut down?'" His face didn't give away what he was thinking. Apart of you felt grateful worried he would think you were overreacting.

You were unsure if you wanted Levi to know this other side of you. The side your father only brought out. Interrupting your thought Ann however replied.

"She does this thing where her face goes blank. I feel like it's to protect herself from what he's saying. It's almost like she's disassociating, which is not good by the way. You need a therapist," your sister pointed out as she always did.

You couldn't help but snort, "So do you. But at the end of the day dad has taught me something," you leaned against the counter now allowing the chicken to cook on the stove.

"What's that?" Erwin curiously asked.

You grinned, "Not to marry anyone like him. Ann already knows if my future boyfriend acts anything like our dad, to hit me over the head."

Hange snickered, "Has she had to hit you over the head yet?"

Somehow knowing you wouldn't answer truthfully Ann chuckled, "I've hit her over the head for a few guys with red flags but none thankfully as bad as Dad."

Levi folded his arms, "Who have you dated?"

You kept silent, but Ann however did not care for your embarrassment.

She began cackling. "Oh you never told them did you?" You covered your face, "It was Chad! Remember him, right?" Ann smirked turning to the others.

Erwin began shaking his head, "I had to step in for Chad. That was truly one of your darkest moments (name). Gotta say I was a tiny bit disappointed."

You rolled your eyes, "Okay Erwin we get it. I have horrible taste in men."

Hange shook her head, "Not just horrible. Chad was like downright disgusting y/n! What did he do? Bat his eyelashes?"

You cringed. "What?? Nooo!" You didn't appear to be convincing.

Levi sighed. "Chad as in the college dropout Chad? The Chad who got kicked out of school our senior year?" Even he had the ability to look disappointed.

You turned away from everyone, "It's not my fault, I took his flirting seriously! I've never been flirt with," you gestured to yourself as if that would help your situation by any means.

Hange closed her eyes and softly shook her head. "Okay y/n you're right. We're sorry, although please tell me Chad was the only one," she turned to Ann who didn't appear to be in your favor.

Interrupting the stories that were soon to follow you spoke up, "Alright who's hungry?"

You were thankful for the short distraction. However, you were not expecting to catch the eyes of Levi. A curious look in his eyes.

Levi didn’t have parents. His mother died when he was young and he never met his father.

After that his uncle raised him until he was old enough to do something with his life. His Uncle Kenny was never much of a father.

Apart of him wondered what his life would have been like if he had his mother to raise him. Or if Kenny had stuck around to actually raise him properly.

Alas he would never know and now that he’s older he wonders if his thoughts and feelings on his parents would have changed.. if they were still alive. He was sure you still loved your parents because he knew just as well as anyone else a simple argument would never change that. However, a part of him began wondering if parent relationships were as black and white as he thought.

And how many times have you had to deal with your father in this way. How many times had he not been here to hear what was bothering you and understand what made you cry and why.

You approached Levi noticing him now deep in thought. The others had plates and were entertaining one another with a movie. You could hear the familiar Kung Fu Panda 2 intro.

"Hey, here's your plate," you whispered setting in front of him.

He looked up shock briefly taking over him, "Oh thanks."

You nodded watching him for a moment. It appeared he had something to say, so you gave him a moment. Your plate was sitting in front of you, and you took a sip of the 'disgusting' (deliciously sweet) wine.

Levi picked up his fork pausing for a second, "So how often do you and your father get in arguments?"

You stared at him attempting to gauge his thoughts. Like always he gave nothing away.

You shook your head hoping to be as convincing as you could and answered, "Not often."

He set his fork down, his eyes staring holes into your own, "Please do not lie to me."

You sighed turning away from him as your felt your throat weaken. Of course you had to be emotional.

Taking a few seconds, you turned back to him. "These days? Maybe once a month. Being out of the house has made it easier on our relationship. He still has opinions on things which is what we end up arguing over most of time," you rolled your eyes, moving the food on your plate around.

Levi nodded slowly, "How long has it been going on?"

You closed your eyes at his question... it had been nearly 4 years ago and still you remember every detail as if it was yesterday... maybe I really do need a therapist. Ann would gloat at you agreeing with her words.

You opened your eyes to see Levi looking at you with nothing but patience, so you spoke.

"Well, I was 17 and anna was 13 when mom left us. She cheated on my dad, they got a divorce and she and left anna and I for a year. She went zero contact, and we had no idea if she was dead or alive, what she was doing, and where she was. During that time, our dad was dealing with the divorce in a not so healthy way. He took it out on us, not super bad but sometimes he would compare me to mom. He said I would turn out just like her and he spent many nights talking to Ann and I about the way mom treated him and about how she had abandoned us. Ann hated mom for a long time because of this. Of course, we did our best to help him... and then he took up drinking. He was never physical, just very cruel with his words. One day... I got tired of him treating us like his therapists and from then on Ann became his favorite child."

Your story like past came to an end and you took the first bite of your meal as Levi took in your story. You could see his hands tense and his jaw locked.

He bit the inside of his cheek as he looked up now staring you in your eyes, "Y/n what was Erwin talking about? When he said he had to step in."

Your eyes flashed in embarrassment, "Oh yeah that. Dad got upset because Ann took up for me over something stupid and he laid into her. I mean he was telling her to shut up and I snapped. I told him he couldn't talk to her like that, how he had the issue with me and not to take it out on her. I was 19 and he took my car away and he shut down my phone," you chuckled at the memory, "and that punishment didn't last but 3 days because I was working full time and he didn't want to have to drive me to work every day. I remember being so pissed off because after all of that... he pouted like a child for days, ignoring me until I apologized." You shook your head, your anger surfacing for a second.

"Sometimes he makes me so angry," You whispered as if ashamed, "and there were some days where I hated him so much. I couldn't even look at him and say 'I love you' back.... because I wasn't sure if I did."

You felt a hand rest on yours, but you couldn't bear to look at him because the nights previous tears were begging to be shed.

For the first time ever, you heard Levi apologize. Not because of something he did... but instead on behalf of your father. You shook your head, "Levi please... Don't apologize for something you haven't done. I'd ask him to apologize but he's too arrogant to think he's at fault. It's just something I'll have to live with," you turned your hand, both of your palms facing one another.

He gripped your hand tight. "Well, you won't have to alone, that's for sure." He squeezed your hand in his, the pressure assuring you of his words, "And for the record, I'm more apologizing for the fact I wasn't there." He lifted your hand to his chest as if holding it there would help him more.

You rolled your eyes attempting to fight off a smile, "It's not your fault again, I purposefully kept you out of the loop, so the first time you met him would be a neutral conversation for you."

"Too late for that." His lips barely lifted into a smirk, "Let's just hope your old man respects you otherwise we'll have a problem."

You sighed, shaking your head, "Of course we will."

You stood from the bar stool, prepared to put your plate away, but as always Levi took over. Without a word his eyes telling you to stay exactly where you were.

Afterall... cleaning was his domain, and you did really like to watch him clean.

Extra;

*kung fu panda 2 playing in the background*

*Hange, Erwin, and Ann were sitting on the couch halfway paying attention to it*

Hange: Ten bucks they're dating in the morning.

Erwin: Make it 15 and it's a deal.

Ann: Make it 50 and you're both on.

**

Levi: I do really like you but also if we confirm the dating rumors your sister gets some extra cash... which works for us both...

Y/N: Sooo are you doing this for the cash? Or because you like me?

Levi: Like is actually the biggest understatement... I love you.

THIS ART OF MY HUSBAND IN GLASSES??? IS SENDING ME INTO ORBIT.

I don’t think you understand what I would do TO this man and FOR THIS MAN. IM TALKING 24/6 (I’m chronically ill so I need at least one day to rest mkay)

I just wanna lick and kiss and bite and just NOM NOM NOM. This man is so fine lawd. His hands his thighs his hips his veins HIS NECK. HIS EVERYTHINGGGG.

AND THE GLASSES?? MY NUMBER ONE WEAKNESSES. GLASSES ARE THE SLUTTIEST THING A MAN CAN WEAR OH MY GAWDDDD