Welcome To The Shit Show

1. Mating press: 6.5/10. Pretty enjoyable and hot as fuck but not as comfortable in practice. My thighs were cramping so fast. It is pretty hot tho so it gets extra points for that

2. Headlock: 12/10. Need I say more. Extra points if you’re lying on your stomach and he’s only holding you up by his bicep on your throat. It’s literally so good. Like yes please suffocate me with your bicep and whisper dirty y shit into my ear please lord. Hot asf and it’s not uncomfortable as you’re simply laying down

3. Cowgirl: 7/10. Feels great. It’s very position dependent. Bed vs sitting on the edge. Little hard to keep the pace but it helps if he helps. Minus 1 point for lack of eye contact

4. Missionary: 13/10. Please lord. The eye contact, the closeness, the feeling of being completely entrapped by him. Him panting and cursing. The feeling is so shehhdjw. And you don’t have to do shit. As long as he doesn’t absolutely crush you with his weight, so good

5. Riding: 10/10. No need to explain this one. Very popular for a reason. One my faves. Only downside is keeping the pace but that’s what he’s for. Very comfortable and enjoyable indeed. Bonus points if he grabs your hips and starts to fuck you. And seeing his eyes roll back into his head. Bro I bust every time.

6. Shower: 2/10. Did it one and never again. Lord whoever came up with this bullshit i hope you died without feeling the touch of a pussy.

7. Legs on shoulders: 7/10. Feels so good but fuck it’s so uncomfortable after a while. My legs are too short and his torso is too fucking long my shit gets sore so fast. My rating goes up to 8/10 if it’s one leg on his shoulders and one leg around his hips.

8. 69: 7/10. Nothing much to say. It’s good but it gets hard to focus (adhd hates this) can’t concentrate enough to finish but can’t concentrate enough on the task in front of me. Very dependent on how my adhd is that day.

9. Face sitting: 13/10. Need i explain. I get so giddy when he asks me to sit on his face. Only downside is holding yourself up but everything else about it makes that seem very inconsequential. Literally what Doja said. Sit on that nose. You won’t regret it I promise. If your man doesn’t beg to suffocate on your pussy you need a new one. That shit is literally my favorite. Extra points when he grabs your ass and starts moving you himself cause you’re scared to suffocate him. He’s exactly where he wants to be TRUST.

10. Facefucking: 2/10. It’s really hot in theory but it is so fucking foul in practice. Especially if your gag reflex is shit. Tried it once and cried. My poor man was mortified. Love giving head tho, I’ll give that 7/10