Gender Is A Journey

It

Slam!

The powerful crack of the volleyball against smooth wood floor echoed around the gym.

Tetsurou landed back on the ground a second after the ball did, wearing its familiar shit-eating grin. It clenched its palms, both pink with a satisfying sting from yet another perfect shutout block.

A chorus of unhappy groans could be heard from the other side of the net, while Tetsurou’s own team cheered and taunted their opponents.

Tetsurou’s vice captain and close friend walked up and playfully slapped it on the back. “Nice one, Captain. What is that now- five shutouts in a row?” The vc grinned. “However, you might want to start easing up. Our poor first years are going to lose all their confidence never being able to spike past you.”

Tetsurou raised an eyebrow. “What’s this? You want me to go easy on the other team?” It dramatically threw a hand over its heart. “I never thought I would see the day when I was betrayed by my own vice captain. This may only be a practice match against our own teammates but how will they ever learn to win if they aren’t forced to give their all against a volleyball master such as I?” Tetsurou sniffled as if broken-hearted, all the while trying to not break into a grin. “ No, no, I’m afraid this won’t do. I’m just going to have to find a new vice captain!”

“Hey!” Tetsurou’s friend punched it in the arm and Tetsurou cracked up at the sight of their scowl.

“If you don’t mind,” one of the second years on the other side of the net drawled, “Could we resume practice now? I can’t possibly fathom how in the world you two were put in positions of responsibility.” The whole team started laughing now, and Tetsurou grinned at the good-natured ribbing.

“All right,” it called, “ I see how it is. But be prepared to lose epically. There’s no way I’m going easy on you now!”

The gym once again filled with the familiar song of sneakers squeaking on polished floor and palms smacking against the worn leather of the ball.

Tetsurou geared up to play like the rest of the team, but its mind wandered to the exchange that had just occurred and the effortless, comforting camaraderie it had shown. Tetsurou had been thinking quite a lot recently about what its team meant to it. Tetsurou loved volleyball and the people that it played the game with. The team was like family. They were all ridiculously close friends that practiced together and joked together, had each other’s backs and always looked out for each other. But Tetsurou wondered… would the team still treat Tetsurou the same if they all knew? If Tetsurou ever just worked up the courage to tell everyone who it really was- what it truly was. Unfortunately, Tetsurou had a pretty good idea already of what would happen if that day ever came. It had played the scenario through a billion times in its head, and each time all it was left with was disgusted glares and mocking laughter. Tetsurou couldn’t bring itself to do it. Hiding who it was hurt, but facing the idea of losing the people most important to it was so much worse. Tetsurou grimaced at the mental image and dragged its attention back to the game just in time to hear a panicked- “Look out!”- and see the ball hurtling towards its face.

When Tetsurou blinked its eyes open, the first thing it saw was a ring of concerned faces hovering around it. Tetsurou grunted, bringing a hand up to prod gingerly at its head.

“Tetsurou?” The vice captain’s head popped into view right above its own, voice laced with worry.

Tetsurou sat up cautiously. Though it was originally a bit dizzy, the world seemed to balance out once more and the throbbing pain on the side of its head slowly abated. “I’m good. Did I pass out?”

The vice captain shook its head. “I don’t know for sure, but I don’t think so. That spike hit you right in the head and took you down pretty hard. We all rushed over here and you opened your eyes a second after that.”

A hand fell gently on Tetsurou’s shoulder and it turned to see their coach crouching beside it. “How are you feeling? Any nausea? Pain? You’ve seen enough sport-related injuries to know what I’m looking for here.”

Tetsurou shook its head. “Really, I feel fine. I’ve gotten a lot worse on the court before. I know how important it is to look after these things. If I don’t feel well, I’ll get it checked out.”

The coach gave it a searching glance for a moment before nodding, seemingly satisfied, and walking back to the assistant manager at the side of the court.

Tetsurou looked back at its teammates and spotted a gangly first year that was hovering nervously, nearly on the brink of tears.

“Was that your ball?”

The poor spiker looked like someone had just called them out on running over a puppy. They gave a small jerky nod, somewhere between terrified and miserable.

Tetsurou just grinned and made sure to look them in the eye as it said, “Nice kill. With spikes like that, we just might make it to nationals.”

The first year’s face immediately transformed into one of surprise and wonder.

Everyone’s attention was transferred quickly yet again as the vice captain clapped their hands and said, “Alright, I think that’s enough excitement for one day. We were close to the end of the match anyways, so why don’t we all call it for today. First years, pack up the equipment, everyone else can head over to start changing. Remember we have practice this weekend!”

As the other members of Tetsurou’s team slowly began to file away to fulfill their various duties, its vice captain turned back to it. They offered a hand up and Tetsurou took it, righting itself then walking together at a slow pace towards the changing rooms.

“What’s been up with you lately, bro?”

Tetsurou cringed a bit internally at the masculine name. It knew that was a term of endearment, but it still far preferred to be addressed neutrally.

“…Hey!”

Tetsurou realized with a start that its friend had still been talking to it and it had missed most of the conversation.

“Hey, what’s up with you lately? You’ve been super zoned out and preoccupied. It’s not really great to worry that much about things in general, but you saw what happened on the court. You know it can be dangerous when you’re not paying attention.” Concern shone in the friend’s eyes.

By now the two had arrived in the dressing rooms so Tetsurou took the opportunity to turn away and hide its face under the pretense of changing shirts.

“I…it’s nothing, really. I’m fine.”

“You’re not though, and that’s a problem.” Its friend had now stepped around so they were face to face once more. “I know you. How long have we been friends? I know that you’ve been stressing hardcore about something and that it’s really been affecting you, even if you try not to show it.”

By now the confrontation had begun to attract the attention of the other teammates gathered in the small changing room. Tetsurou found it hard to meet their eyes as it grabbed its bag and closed the locker. Everyone was waiting to see what their captain would do, waiting to support Tetsurou, but Tetsurou wasn’t so sure that support would last through the revelation of its actual worry. It was so scared. Revealing something like this was such a risk. But then, a niggling doubt proposed, maybe Tetsurou wasn’t giving its teammates the credit they deserved? This team had spent so much time together. They were all so extremely close. Tetsurou thought back to the moment it had looked up from the floor to see everyone’s faces full of concern and care. Would all of that really disappear so easily?

The entire locker room seemed to have gone quiet as each player devoted their attention to Tetsurou’s look of agonized indecision. Finally, the vice captain reached out to rest a hand on their shoulder. “We’re here for you, man.”

“Not.” Tetsurou choked out.

“What?”

Tetsurou raised its eyes to look directly at its team. “I’m not a man.”

The declaration was met with surprised faces all around and Tetsurou’s heart seemed to stop as it waited for the inevitable wall of hatred to finally fall and crush it. However, as its teammate’s faces changed it wasn’t into looks of disgust but instead curiosity, support, and even some understanding.

The grip on Tetsurou’s shoulder tightened supportively and it looked over to see that its friend was still beside it. Shocked, maybe, but definitely not getting ready to punch them either.

“Umm, ok. Ok, yeah.” their friend nodded their head to themself and seemed to regain surety as they talked. “Uh, what are you then?”

Tetsurou took a shuddering breath, never before quite believing it could make it this far. In a quiet, shaky voice it explained, “I’m agender. It uh, it’s basically like I don’t really have a gender. I’m not a guy or a girl or anything else like that. Does…does that make sense?”

Some of Tetsurou’s team still looked a little confused, but others were starting to slowly nod, as if they were processing the idea.

One of the team’s wing spikers spoke up. “I’ll admit that I’ve never really heard of something like this before, and I don’t fully understand it, but I’m definitely willing to try and learn.” Many of the team nodded in agreement.

Another added sympathetically, “Wow. That’s pretty big. You must have been super nervous to share that. Thanks for trusting us.”

“I was really scared,” Tetsurou agreed. “I didn’t know how you guys would react, and so many people are really horrible or even violent about this kind of thing. I- I’m glad I did though. It feels really good being able to tell all my friends about who I really am instead of bottling it up.”

The room filled with a chorus of support.

“Of course we’re here for you! We’re a team!”

“We would never act like those judgy assholes!”

“Hey, If anyone gives you shit I’ll take them down myself! I mean, not that you probably couldn’t take them on your own anyways.”

One of Tetsurou’s closest friends from the team walked up and gave it a short hug, looking slightly embarrassed at the display of affection, but determined nonetheless. “You may not be our bro anymore, but you’re definitely still our sibling.”

The team once again nodded together and threw out more words of encouragement.

“Umm…” Tetsurou looked up to see the timid first year from before had their hand raised. “My sister’s actually trans. I mean, I know it’s not exactly the same thing, since she’s a girl and you’re not a gender at all, but it does mean that I kinda know some things about this. Is there any specific pronouns you want us to use for you?”

“I’m not exactly sure yet, to be honest. I’m still kind of figuring that stuff out.”

“Well,” the vice captain started, finally removing their hand from Tetsurou’s shoulder, “We’ll be here for you the whole time. Just feel free to talk to us instead of bottling it all up again, alright? We want to learn more and support you.”

Tetsurou smiled, feeling the last of its worries drift away. Of course its team was there for them. It had no reason to be worried this whole time. As the team finally resumed dressing and collecting their things, Tetsurou slung its bag over its shoulder and felt the warm glow of assurance deep in its chest. It was loved and valid, and its friends had just shown it how much that was true. It knew that whatever came, it would have the support of many wonderful people right behind it, helping it laugh and grow the whole way; and for now, that was all it needed.

Ne

Slam!

The powerful crack of the volleyball against smooth wood floor echoed around the gym.

Tetsurou landed back on the ground a second after the ball did, wearing nyr familiar shit-eating grin. Ne clenched nyr palms, both pink with a satisfying sting from yet another perfect shutout block.

A chorus of unhappy groans could be heard from the other side of the net, while Tetsurou’s own team cheered and taunted their opponents.

Tetsurou’s vice captain and close friend walked up and playfully slapped nem on the back. “Nice one, Captain. What is that now- five shutouts in a row?” The vc grinned. “However, you might want to start easing up. Our poor first years are going to lose all their confidence never being able to spike past you.”

Tetsurou raised an eyebrow. “What’s this? You want me to go easy on the other team?” Ne dramatically threw a hand over nyr heart. “I never thought I would see the day when I was betrayed by my own vice captain. This may only be a practice match against our own teammates but how will they ever learn to win if they aren’t forced to give their all against a volleyball master such as I?” Tetsurou sniffled as if broken-hearted, all the while trying to not break into a grin. “ No, no, I’m afraid this won’t do. I’m just going to have to find a new vice captain!”

“Hey!” Tetsurou’s friend punched nem in the arm and Tetsurou cracked up at the sight of their scowl.

“If you don’t mind,” one of the second years on the other side of the net drawled, “Could we resume practice now? I can’t possibly fathom how in the world you two were put in positions of responsibility.” The whole team started laughing now, and Tetsurou grinned at the good-natured ribbing.

“All right,” ne called, “ I see how it is. But be prepared to lose epically. There’s no way I’m going easy on you now!”

The gym once again filled with the familiar song of sneakers squeaking on polished floor and palms smacking against the worn leather of the ball.

Tetsurou geared up to play like the rest of the team, but nyr mind wandered to the exchange that had just occurred and the effortless, comforting camaraderie it had shown. Tetsurou had been thinking quite a lot recently about what nyr team meant to nem. Tetsurou loved volleyball and the people that ne played it with. The team was like family. They were all ridiculously close friends that practiced together and joked together, had each other’s backs and always looked out for each other. But Tetsurou wondered… would the team still treat Tetsurou the same if they all knew? If Tetsurou ever just worked up the courage to tell everyone who ne really were- what ne truly were. Unfortunately, Tetsurou had a pretty good idea already of what would happen if that day ever came. ne had played the scenario through a billion times in nyr head, and each time all ne were left with was disgusted glares and mocking laughter. Tetsurou couldn’t bring nemself to do it. Hiding who ne were hurt, but facing the idea of losing the people most important to nem was so much worse. Tetsurou grimaced at the mental image and dragged nyr attention back to the game just in time to hear a panicked- “Look out!”- and see the ball hurtling towards nyr face.

When Tetsurou blinked nyr eyes open, the first thing ne saw was a ring of concerned faces hovering around nem. Tetsurou grunted, bringing a hand up to prod gingerly at nyr head.

“Tetsurou?” The vice captain’s head popped into view right above nyr own, voice laced with worry.

Tetsurou sat up cautiously. Though ne were originally a bit dizzy, the world seemed to center itself once more and the throbbing pain on the side of nyr head slowly abated. “I’m good. Did I pass out?”

The vice captain shook their head. “I don’t know for sure, but I don’t think so. That spike hit you right in the head and took you down pretty hard. We all rushed over here and you opened your eyes a second after that.”

A hand fell gently on Tetsurou’s shoulder and ne turned to see nyr coach crouching beside nem. “How are you feeling? Any nausea? Pain? You’ve seen enough sport-related injuries to know what I’m looking for here.”

Tetsurou shook nyr head. “Really, I feel fine. I’ve gotten a lot worse on the court before. I know how important it is to look after these things. If I don’t feel well, I’ll get it checked out.”

The coach gave nem a searching glance for a moment before nodding, seemingly satisfied, and walking back to the assistant manager at the side of the court.

Tetsurou looked back at nyr teammates and spotted a gangly first year that was hovering nervously, nearly on the brink of tears.

“Was that your ball?”

The poor spiker looked like someone had just called them out on running over a puppy. They gave a small jerky nod, somewhere between terrified and miserable.

Tetsurou just grinned and made sure to look them in the eye as ne said, “Nice kill. With spikes like that, we just might make it to nationals.”

The first year’s face immediately transformed into one of surprise and wonder.

Everyone’s attention was transferred quickly yet again as the vice captain clapped their hands and said, “Alright, I think that’s enough excitement for one day. We were close to the end of the match anyways, so why don’t we all call it for today. First years, pack up the equipment, everyone else can head over to start changing. Remember we have practice this weekend!”

As the other members of Tetsurou’s team slowly began to file away to fulfill their various duties, their vice captain turned back to nem. They offered a hand up and Tetsurou took it, righting nemself then walking together at a slow pace towards the changing rooms.

“What’s been up with you lately, bro?”

Tetsurou cringed a bit internally at the masculine name. Ne knew it was a term of endearment, but ne still far preferred to be addressed neutrally.

“…Hey!”

Tetsurou realized with a start that nyr friend had still been talking to nem and ne had missed most of it.

“Hey, what’s up with you lately? You’ve been super zoned out and preoccupied. It’s not really great to worry that much about things in general, but you saw what happened on the court. You know it can be dangerous when you’re not paying attention.” Concern shone in nyr friend’s eyes.

By now the two had arrived in the dressing rooms so Tetsurou took the opportunity to turn away and hide nyr face under the pretense of changing shirts.

“I…it’s nothing, really. I’m fine.”

“You’re not though, and that’s a problem.” Nyr friend had now stepped around so they were face to face once more. “I know you. How long have we been friends? I know that you’ve been stressing hardcore about something and that it’s really been affecting you, even if you try not to show it.”

By now the confrontation had begun to attract the attention of the other teammates gathered in the small changing room. Tetsurou found it hard to meet their eyes as ne grabbed nyr bag and closed the locker. Everyone was waiting to see what their captain would do, waiting to support Tetsurou, but Tetsurou wasn’t so sure that support would last through the revelation of nyr actual worry. Ne were so scared. Revealing something like this was such a risk. But then, a niggling doubt proposed, maybe Tetsurou wasn’t giving nyr teammates the credit they deserved? This team had spent so much time together. They were all so extremely close. Tetsurou thought back to the moment ne had looked up from the floor to see everyone’s faces full of concern and care. Would all of that really disappear so easily?

The entire locker room seemed to have gone quiet as each player devoted nyr attention to Tetsurou’s look of agonized indecision. Finally, the vice captain reached out to rest a hand on nyr shoulder. “We’re here for you, man.”

“Not.” Tetsurou choked out.

“What?”

Tetsurou raised their eyes to look directly at their team. “I’m not a man.”

The declaration was met with surprised faces all around and Tetsurou’s heart seemed to stop as ne waited for the inevitable wall of hatred to finally fall and crush them. However, as nyr teammate’s faces changed it wasn’t into looks of disgust but instead curiosity, support, and even some understanding.

The grip on Tetsurou’s shoulder tightened supportively and ne looked over to see that nyr friend was still beside them. Shocked, maybe, but definitely not getting ready to punch them either.

“Umm, ok. Ok, yeah.” nyr friend nodded their head to themself and seemed to regain surety as they talked. “Uh, what are you then?”

Tetsurou took a shuddering breath, never before quite believing ne could make it this far. In a quiet, shaky voice ne explained, “I’m agender. It uh, it’s basically like I don’t really have a gender. I’m not a guy or a girl or anything else like that. Does…does that make sense?”

Some of Tetsurou’s team still looked a little confused, but others were starting to slowly nod, as if they were processing the idea.

One of the team’s wing spikers spoke up. “I’ll admit that I’ve never really heard of something like this before, and I don’t fully understand it, but I’m definitely willing to try and learn.” Many of the team nodded in agreement.

Another added sympathetically, “Wow. That’s pretty big. You must have been super nervous to share that. Thanks for trusting us.”

“I was really scared,” Tetsurou agreed. “I didn’t know how you guys would react, and so many people are really horrible or even violent about this kind of thing. I- I’m glad I did though. It feels really good being able to tell all my friends about who I really am instead of bottling it up.”

The room filled with a chorus of support.

“Of course we’re here for you! We’re a team!”

“We would never act like those judgy assholes!”

“Hey, If anyone gives you shit I’ll take them down myself! I mean, not that you probably couldn’t take them on your own anyways.”

One of Tetsurou’s closest friends from the team walked up and gave nem a short hug, looking slightly embarrassed at the display of affection, but determined nonetheless. “You may not be our bro anymore, but you’re definitely still our sibling.”

The team once again nodded together and threw out more words of encouragement.

“Umm…” Tetsurou looked up to see the timid first year from before had their hand raised. “My sister’s actually trans. I mean, I know it’s not exactly the same thing, since she’s a girl and you’re not a gender at all, but it does mean that I kinda know some things about this. Is there any specific pronouns you want us to use for you?”

“I’m not exactly sure yet, to be honest. I’m still kind of figuring that stuff out.”

“Well,” the vice captain started, finally removing their hand from Tetsurou’s shoulder, “We’ll be here for you the whole time. Just feel free to talk to us instead of bottling it all up again, alright? We want to learn more and support you.”

Tetsurou smiled, feeling the last of nyr worries drift away. Of course nyr team was there for nem. Ne had no reason to be worried this whole time. As the team finally resumed dressing and collecting their things, Tetsurou slung nyr bag over nyr shoulder and felt the warm glow of assurance deep in nyr chest. Ne were loved and valid, and nyr friends had just shown nem how much that was true. Ne knew that whatever came, ne would have the support of many wonderful people right behind nem, helping nem laugh and grow the whole way; and for now, that was all ne needed.

Ast

Slam!

The powerful crack of the volleyball against smooth wood floor echoed around the gym.

Tetsurou landed back on the ground a second after the ball did, wearing asters familiar shit-eating grin. Ast clenched asters palms, both pink with a satisfying sting from yet another perfect shutout block.

A chorus of unhappy groans could be heard from the other side of the net, while Tetsurou’s own team cheered and taunted their opponents.

Tetsurou’s vice captain and close friend walked up and playfully slapped ast on the back. “Nice one, Captain. What is that now- five shutouts in a row?” The vc grinned. “However, you might want to start easing up. Our poor first years are going to lose all their confidence never being able to spike past you.”

Tetsurou raised an eyebrow. “What’s this? You want me to go easy on the other team?” Ast dramatically threw a hand over asters heart. “I never thought I would see the day when I was betrayed by my own vice captain. This may only be a practice match against our own teammates but how will they ever learn to win if they aren’t forced to give their all against a volleyball master such as I?” Tetsurou sniffled as if broken-hearted, all the while trying to not break into a grin. “ No, no, I’m afraid this won’t do. I’m just going to have to find a new vice captain!”

“Hey!” Tetsurou’s friend punched aster in the arm and Tetsurou cracked up at the sight of their scowl.

“If you don’t mind,” one of the second years on the other side of the net drawled, “Could we resume practice now? I can’t possibly fathom how in the world you two were put in positions of responsibility.” The whole team started laughing now, and Tetsurou grinned at the good-natured ribbing.

“All right,” ast called, “ I see how it is. But be prepared to lose epically. There’s no way I’m going easy on you now!”

The gym once again filled with the familiar song of sneakers squeaking on polished floor and palms smacking against the worn leather of the ball.

Tetsurou geared up to play like the rest of the team, but asters mind wandered to the exchange that had just occurred and the effortless, comforting camaraderie it had shown. Tetsurou had been thinking quite a lot recently about what asters team meant to aster. Tetsurou loved volleyball and the people that ast played it with. The team was like family. They were all ridiculously close friends that practiced together and joked together, had each other’s backs and always looked out for each other. But Tetsurou wondered… would the team still treat Tetsurou the same if they all knew? If Tetsurou ever just worked up the courage to tell everyone who ast really was- what ast truly was. Unfortunately, Tetsurou had a pretty good idea already of what would happen if that day ever came. Ast had played the scenario through a billion times in asters head, and each time all ast was left with was disgusted glares and mocking laughter. Tetsurou couldn’t bring asterself to do it. Hiding who ast was hurt, but facing the idea of losing the people most important to aster was so much worse. Tetsurou grimaced at the mental image and dragged asters attention back to the game just in time to hear a panicked- “Look out!”- and see the ball hurtling towards asters face.

When Tetsurou blinked asters eyes open, the first thing ast saw was a ring of concerned faces hovering around aster. Tetsurou grunted, bringing a hand up to prod gingerly at asters head.

“Tetsurou?” The vice captain’s head popped into view right above asters own, voice laced with worry.

Tetsurou sat up cautiously. Though ast was originally a bit dizzy, the world seemed to center itself once more and the throbbing pain on the side of asters head slowly abated. “I’m good. Did I pass out?”

The vice captain shook their head. “I don’t know for sure, but I don’t think so. That spike hit you right in the head and took you down pretty hard. We all rushed over here and you opened your eyes a second after that.”

A hand fell gently on Tetsurou’s shoulder and ast turned to see asters coach crouching beside aster. “How are you feeling? Any nausea? Pain? You’ve seen enough sport-related injuries to know what I’m looking for here.”

Tetsurou shook asters head. “Really, I feel fine. I’ve gotten a lot worse on the court before. I know how important it is to look after these things. If I don’t feel well, I’ll get it checked out.”

The coach gave aster a searching glance for a moment before nodding, seemingly satisfied, and walking back to the assistant manager at the side of the court.

Tetsurou looked back at asters teammates and spotted a gangly first year that was hovering nervously, nearly on the brink of tears.

“Was that your ball?”

The poor spiker looked like someone had just called them out on running over a puppy. They gave a small jerky nod, somewhere between terrified and miserable.

Tetsurou just grinned and made sure to look them in the eye as ast said, “Nice kill. With spikes like that, we just might make it to nationals.”

The first year’s face immediately transformed into one of surprise and wonder.

Everyone’s attention was transferred quickly yet again as the vice captain clapped their hands and said, “Alright, I think that’s enough excitement for one day. We were close to the end of the match anyways, so why don’t we all call it for today. First years, pack up the equipment, everyone else can head over to start changing. Remember we have practice this weekend!”

As the other members of Tetsurou’s team slowly began to file away to fulfill their various duties, their vice captain turned back to aster. They offered a hand up and Tetsurou took it, righting asterself then walking together at a slow pace towards the changing rooms.

“What’s been up with you lately, bro?”

Tetsurou cringed a bit internally at the masculine name. Ast knew it was a term of endearment, but ast still far preferred to be addressed neutrally.

“…Hey!”

Tetsurou realized with a start that asters friend had still been talking to aster and ast had missed most of it.

“Hey, what’s up with you lately? You’ve been super zoned out and preoccupied. It’s not really great to worry that much about things in general, but you saw what happened on the court. You know it can be dangerous when you’re not paying attention.” Concern shone in asters friend’s eyes.

By now the two had arrived in the dressing rooms so Tetsurou took the opportunity to turn away and hide asters face under the pretense of changing shirts.

“I…it’s nothing, really. I’m fine.”

“You’re not though, and that’s a problem.” Asters friend had now stepped around so they were face to face once more. “I know you. How long have we been friends? I know that you’ve been stressing hardcore about something and that it’s really been affecting you, even if you try not to show it.”

By now the confrontation had begun to attract the attention of the other teammates gathered in the small changing room. Tetsurou found it hard to meet their eyes as ast grabbed asters bag and closed the locker. Everyone was waiting to see what their captain would do, waiting to support Tetsurou, but Tetsurou wasn’t so sure that support would last through the revelation of asters actual worry. Ast was so scared. Revealing something like this was such a risk. But then, a niggling doubt proposed, maybe Tetsurou wasn’t giving asters teammates the credit they deserved? This team had spent so much time together. They were all so extremely close. Tetsurou thought back to the moment ast had looked up from the floor to see everyone’s faces full of concern and care. Would all of that really disappear so easily?

The entire locker room seemed to have gone quiet as each player devoted their attention to Tetsurou’s look of agonized indecision. Finally, the vice captain reached out to rest a hand on asters shoulder. “We’re here for you, man.”

“Not.” Tetsurou choked out.

“What?”

Tetsurou raised asters eyes to look directly at asters team. “I’m not a man.”

The declaration was met with surprised faces all around and Tetsurou’s heart seemed to stop as ast waited for the inevitable wall of hatred to finally fall and crush aster. However, as asters teammate’s faces changed it wasn’t into looks of disgust but instead curiosity, support, and even some understanding.

The grip on Tetsurou’s shoulder tightened supportively and ast looked over to see that asters friend was still beside aster. Shocked, maybe, but definitely not getting ready to punch aster either.

“Umm, ok. Ok, yeah.” asters friend nodded their head to themself and seemed to regain surety as they talked. “Uh, what are you then?”

Tetsurou took a shuddering breath, never before quite believing ast could make it this far. In a quiet, shaky voice ast explained, “I’m agender. It uh, it’s basically like I don’t really have a gender. I’m not a guy or a girl or anything else like that. Does…does that make sense?”

Some of Tetsurou’s team still looked a little confused, but others were starting to slowly nod, as if they were processing the idea.

One of the team’s wing spikers spoke up. “I’ll admit that I’ve never really heard of something like this before, and I don’t fully understand it, but I’m definitely willing to try and learn.” Many of the team nodded in agreement.

Another added sympathetically, “Wow. That’s pretty big. You must have been super nervous to share that. Thanks for trusting us.”

“I was really scared,” Tetsurou agreed. “I didn’t know how you guys would react, and so many people are really horrible or even violent about this kind of thing. I- I’m glad I did though. It feels really good being able to tell all my friends about who I really am instead of bottling it up.”

The room filled with a chorus of support.

“Of course we’re here for you! We’re a team!”

“We would never act like those judgy assholes!”

“Hey, If anyone gives you shit I’ll take them down myself! I mean, not that you probably couldn’t take them on your own anyways.”

One of Tetsurou’s closest friends from the team walked up and gave aster a short hug, looking slightly embarrassed at the display of affection, but determined nonetheless. “You may not be our bro anymore, but you’re definitely still our sibling.”

The team once again nodded together and threw out more words of encouragement.

“Umm…” Tetsurou looked up to see the timid first year from before had their hand raised. “My sister’s actually trans. I mean, I know it’s not exactly the same thing, since she’s a girl and you’re not a gender at all, but it does mean that I kinda know some things about this. Is there any specific pronouns you want us to use for you?”

“I’m not exactly sure yet, to be honest. I’m still kind of figuring that stuff out.”

“Well,” the vice captain started, finally removing their hand from Tetsurou’s shoulder, “We’ll be here for you the whole time. Just feel free to talk to us instead of bottling it all up again, alright? We want to learn more and support you.”

Tetsurou smiled, feeling the last of asters worries drift away. Of course asters team was there for aster. Ast had no reason to be worried this whole time. As the team finally resumed dressing and collecting their things, Tetsurou slung asters bag over asters shoulder and felt the warm glow of assurance deep in asters chest. Ast was loved and valid, and asters friends had just shown aster how much that was true. Ast knew that whatever came, ast would have the support of many wonderful people right behind aster, helping aster laugh and grow the whole way; and for now, that was all ast needed.

Azu

Slam!

The powerful crack of the volleyball against smooth wood floor echoed around the gym.

Tetsurou landed back on the ground a second after the ball did, wearing azurs familiar shit-eating grin. Azu clenched azurs palms, both pink with a satisfying sting from yet another perfect shutout block.

A chorus of unhappy groans could be heard from the other side of the net, while Tetsurou’s own team cheered and taunted their opponents.

Tetsurou’s vice captain and close friend walked up and playfully slapped azu on the back. “Nice one, Captain. What is that now- five shutouts in a row?” The vc grinned. “However, you might want to start easing up. Our poor first years are going to lose all their confidence never being able to spike past you.”

Tetsurou raised an eyebrow. “What’s this? You want me to go easy on the other team?” Azu dramatically threw a hand over azurs heart. “I never thought I would see the day when I was betrayed by my own vice captain. This may only be a practice match against our own teammates but how will they ever learn to win if they aren’t forced to give their all against a volleyball master such as I?” Tetsurou sniffled as if broken-hearted, all the while trying to not break into a grin. “ No, no, I’m afraid this won’t do. I’m just going to have to find a new vice captain!”

“Hey!” Tetsurou’s friend punched azur in the arm and Tetsurou cracked up at the sight of their scowl.

“If you don’t mind,” one of the second years on the other side of the net drawled, “Could we resume practice now? I can’t possibly fathom how in the world you two were put in positions of responsibility.” The whole team started laughing now, and Tetsurou grinned at the good-natured ribbing.

“All right,” azu called, “ I see how it is. But be prepared to lose epically. There’s no way I’m going easy on you now!”

The gym once again filled with the familiar song of sneakers squeaking on polished floor and palms smacking against the worn leather of the ball.

Tetsurou geared up to play like the rest of the team, but azurs mind wandered to the exchange that had just occurred and the effortless, comforting camaraderie it had shown. Tetsurou had been thinking quite a lot recently about what azurs team meant to azur. Tetsurou loved volleyball and the people that azu played it with. The team was like family. They were all ridiculously close friends that practiced together and joked together, had each other’s backs and always looked out for each other. But Tetsurou wondered… would the team still treat Tetsurou the same if they all knew? If Tetsurou ever just worked up the courage to tell everyone who azu really was- what azu truly was. Unfortunately, Tetsurou had a pretty good idea already of what would happen if that day ever came. Azu had played the scenario through a billion times in azurs head, and each time all azu was left with was disgusted glares and mocking laughter. Tetsurou couldn’t bring azurself to do it. Hiding who azu was hurt, but facing the idea of losing the people most important to azur was so much worse. Tetsurou grimaced at the mental image and dragged azurs attention back to the game just in time to hear a panicked- “Look out!”- and see the ball hurtling towards azurs face.

When Tetsurou blinked azurs eyes open, the first thing azu saw was a ring of concerned faces hovering around azur. Tetsurou grunted, bringing a hand up to prod gingerly at azurs head.

“Tetsurou?” The vice captain’s head popped into view right above azurs own, voice laced with worry.

Tetsurou sat up cautiously. Though azu was originally a bit dizzy, the world seemed to center itself once more and the throbbing pain on the side of azurs head slowly abated. “I’m good. Did I pass out?”

The vice captain shook their head. “I don’t know for sure, but I don’t think so. That spike hit you right in the head and took you down pretty hard. We all rushed over here and you opened your eyes a second after that.”

A hand fell gently on Tetsurou’s shoulder and azu turned to see azurs coach crouching beside azur. “How are you feeling? Any nausea? Pain? You’ve seen enough sport-related injuries to know what I’m looking for here.”

Tetsurou shook azurs head. “Really, I feel fine. I’ve gotten a lot worse on the court before. I know how important it is to look after these things. If I don’t feel well, I’ll get it checked out.”

The coach gave azur a searching glance for a moment before nodding, seemingly satisfied, and walking back to the assistant manager at the side of the court.

Tetsurou looked back at azurs teammates and spotted a gangly first year that was hovering nervously, nearly on the brink of tears.

“Was that your ball?”

The poor spiker looked like someone had just called them out on running over a puppy. They gave a small jerky nod, somewhere between terrified and miserable.

Tetsurou just grinned and made sure to look them in the eye as azu said, “Nice kill. With spikes like that, we just might make it to nationals.”

The first year’s face immediately transformed into one of surprise and wonder.

Everyone’s attention was transferred quickly yet again as the vice captain clapped their hands and said, “Alright, I think that’s enough excitement for one day. We were close to the end of the match anyways, so why don’t we all call it for today. First years, pack up the equipment, everyone else can head over to start changing. Remember we have practice this weekend!”

As the other members of Tetsurou’s team slowly began to file away to fulfill their various duties, their vice captain turned back to azur. They offered a hand up and Tetsurou took it, righting azurself then walking together at a slow pace towards the changing rooms.

“What’s been up with you lately, bro?”

Tetsurou cringed a bit internally at the masculine name. Azu knew it was a term of endearment, but azu still far preferred to be addressed neutrally.

“…Hey!”

Tetsurou realized with a start that azurs friend had still been talking to azur and azu had missed most of it.

“Hey, what’s up with you lately? You’ve been super zoned out and preoccupied. It’s not really great to worry that much about things in general, but you saw what happened on the court. You know it can be dangerous when you’re not paying attention.” Concern shone in azurs friend’s eyes.

By now the two had arrived in the dressing rooms so Tetsurou took the opportunity to turn away and hide azurs face under the pretense of changing shirts.

“I…it’s nothing, really. I’m fine.”

“You’re not though, and that’s a problem.” Azurs friend had now stepped around so they were face to face once more. “I know you. How long have we been friends? I know that you’ve been stressing hardcore about something and that it’s really been affecting you, even if you try not to show it.”

By now the confrontation had begun to attract the attention of the other teammates gathered in the small changing room. Tetsurou found it hard to meet their eyes as azu grabbed azurs bag and closed the locker. Everyone was waiting to see what their captain would do, waiting to support Tetsurou, but Tetsurou wasn’t so sure that support would last through the revelation of azurs actual worry. Azu was so scared. Revealing something like this was such a risk. But then, a niggling doubt proposed, maybe Tetsurou wasn’t giving azurs teammates the credit they deserved? This team had spent so much time together. They were all so extremely close. Tetsurou thought back to the moment azu had looked up from the floor to see everyone’s faces full of concern and care. Would all of that really disappear so easily?

The entire locker room seemed to have gone quiet as each player devoted their attention to Tetsurou’s look of agonized indecision. Finally, the vice captain reached out to rest a hand on azurs shoulder. “We’re here for you, man.”

“Not.” Tetsurou choked out.

“What?”

Tetsurou raised azurs eyes to look directly at azurs team. “I’m not a man.”

The declaration was met with surprised faces all around and Tetsurou’s heart seemed to stop as azu waited for the inevitable wall of hatred to finally fall and crush azur. However, as azurs teammate’s faces changed it wasn’t into looks of disgust but instead curiosity, support, and even some understanding.

The grip on Tetsurou’s shoulder tightened supportively and azu looked over to see that azurs friend was still beside azur. Shocked, maybe, but definitely not getting ready to punch azur either.

“Umm, ok. Ok, yeah.” azurs friend nodded their head to themself and seemed to regain surety as they talked. “Uh, what are you then?”

Tetsurou took a shuddering breath, never before quite believing azu could make it this far. In a quiet, shaky voice azu explained, “I’m agender. It uh, it’s basically like I don’t really have a gender. I’m not a guy or a girl or anything else like that. Does…does that make sense?”

Some of Tetsurou’s team still looked a little confused, but others were starting to slowly nod, as if they were processing the idea.

One of the team’s wing spikers spoke up. “I’ll admit that I’ve never really heard of something like this before, and I don’t fully understand it, but I’m definitely willing to try and learn.” Many of the team nodded in agreement.

Another added sympathetically, “Wow. That’s pretty big. You must have been super nervous to share that. Thanks for trusting us.”

“I was really scared,” Tetsurou agreed. “I didn’t know how you guys would react, and so many people are really horrible or even violent about this kind of thing. I- I’m glad I did though. It feels really good being able to tell all my friends about who I really am instead of bottling it up.”

The room filled with a chorus of support.

“Of course we’re here for you! We’re a team!”

“We would never act like those judgy assholes!”

“Hey, If anyone gives you shit I’ll take them down myself! I mean, not that you probably couldn’t take them on your own anyways.”

One of Tetsurou’s closest friends from the team walked up and gave azur a short hug, looking slightly embarrassed at the display of affection, but determined nonetheless. “You may not be our bro anymore, but you’re definitely still our sibling.”

The team once again nodded together and threw out more words of encouragement.

“Umm…” Tetsurou looked up to see the timid first year from before had their hand raised. “My sister’s actually trans. I mean, I know it’s not exactly the same thing, since she’s a girl and you’re not a gender at all, but it does mean that I kinda know some things about this. Is there any specific pronouns you want us to use for you?”

“I’m not exactly sure yet, to be honest. I’m still kind of figuring that stuff out.”

“Well,” the vice captain started, finally removing their hand from Tetsurou’s shoulder, “We’ll be here for you the whole time. Just feel free to talk to us instead of bottling it all up again, alright? We want to learn more and support you.”

Tetsurou smiled, feeling the last of azurs worries drift away. Of course azurs team was there for azur. Azu had no reason to be worried this whole time. As the team finally resumed dressing and collecting their things, Tetsurou slung azurs bag over azurs shoulder and felt the warm glow of assurance deep in azurs chest. Azu was loved and valid, and azurs friends had just shown azur how much that was true. Azu knew that whatever came, azu would have the support of many wonderful people right behind azur, helping azur laugh and grow the whole way; and for now, that was all azu needed.

Glit

Slam!

The powerful crack of the volleyball against smooth wood floor echoed around the gym.

Tetsurou landed back on the ground a second after the ball did, wearing glitters familiar shit-eating grin. Glit clenched glitters palms, both pink with a satisfying sting from yet another perfect shutout block.

A chorus of unhappy groans could be heard from the other side of the net, while Tetsurou’s own team cheered and taunted their opponents.

Tetsurou’s vice captain and close friend walked up and playfully slapped glit on the back. “Nice one, Captain. What is that now- five shutouts in a row?” The vc grinned. “However, you might want to start easing up. Our poor first years are going to lose all their confidence never being able to spike past you.”

Tetsurou raised an eyebrow. “What’s this? You want me to go easy on the other team?” Glit dramatically threw a hand over glitters heart. “I never thought I would see the day when I was betrayed by my own vice captain. This may only be a practice match against our own teammates but how will they ever learn to win if they aren’t forced to give their all against a volleyball master such as I?” Tetsurou sniffled as if broken-hearted, all the while trying to not break into a grin. “ No, no, I’m afraid this won’t do. I’m just going to have to find a new vice captain!”

“Hey!” Tetsurou’s friend punched glitter in the arm and Tetsurou cracked up at the sight of their scowl.

“If you don’t mind,” one of the second years on the other side of the net drawled, “Could we resume practice now? I can’t possibly fathom how in the world you two were put in positions of responsibility.” The whole team started laughing now, and Tetsurou grinned at the good-natured ribbing.

“All right,” glit called, “ I see how it is. But be prepared to lose epically. There’s no way I’m going easy on you now!”

The gym once again filled with the familiar song of sneakers squeaking on polished floor and palms smacking against the worn leather of the ball.

Tetsurou geared up to play like the rest of the team, but glitters mind wandered to the exchange that had just occurred and the effortless, comforting camaraderie it had shown. Tetsurou had been thinking quite a lot recently about what glitters team meant to glitter. Tetsurou loved volleyball and the people that glit played it with. The team was like family. They were all ridiculously close friends that practiced together and joked together, had each other’s backs and always looked out for each other. But Tetsurou wondered… would the team still treat Tetsurou the same if they all knew? If Tetsurou ever just worked up the courage to tell everyone who glit really was- what glit truly was. Unfortunately, Tetsurou had a pretty good idea already of what would happen if that day ever came. Azu had played the scenario through a billion times in glitters head, and each time all glit was left with was disgusted glares and mocking laughter. Tetsurou couldn’t bring glitterself to do it. Hiding who glit was hurt, but facing the idea of losing the people most important to glitter was so much worse. Tetsurou grimaced at the mental image and dragged glitters attention back to the game just in time to hear a panicked- “Look out!”- and see the ball hurtling towards glitters face.

When Tetsurou blinked glitters eyes open, the first thing glit saw was a ring of concerned faces hovering around glitter. Tetsurou grunted, bringing a hand up to prod gingerly at glitters head.

“Tetsurou?” The vice captain’s head popped into view right above glitters own, voice laced with worry.

Tetsurou sat up cautiously. Though glit was originally a bit dizzy, the world seemed to center itself once more and the throbbing pain on the side of glitters head slowly abated. “I’m good. Did I pass out?”

The vice captain shook their head. “I don’t know for sure, but I don’t think so. That spike hit you right in the head and took you down pretty hard. We all rushed over here and you opened your eyes a second after that.”

A hand fell gently on Tetsurou’s shoulder and glit turned to see glitters coach crouching beside glitter. “How are you feeling? Any nausea? Pain? You’ve seen enough sport-related injuries to know what I’m looking for here.”

Tetsurou shook glitters head. “Really, I feel fine. I’ve gotten a lot worse on the court before. I know how important it is to look after these things. If I don’t feel well, I’ll get it checked out.”

The coach gave glitter a searching glance for a moment before nodding, seemingly satisfied, and walking back to the assistant manager at the side of the court.

Tetsurou looked back at glitters teammates and spotted a gangly first year that was hovering nervously, nearly on the brink of tears.

“Was that your ball?”

The poor spiker looked like someone had just called them out on running over a puppy. They gave a small jerky nod, somewhere between terrified and miserable.

Tetsurou just grinned and made sure to look them in the eye as glit said, “Nice kill. With spikes like that, we just might make it to nationals.”

The first year’s face immediately transformed into one of surprise and wonder.

Everyone’s attention was transferred quickly yet again as the vice captain clapped their hands and said, “Alright, I think that’s enough excitement for one day. We were close to the end of the match anyways, so why don’t we all call it for today. First years, pack up the equipment, everyone else can head over to start changing. Remember we have practice this weekend!”

As the other members of Tetsurou’s team slowly began to file away to fulfill their various duties, their vice captain turned back to glitter. They offered a hand up and Tetsurou took it, righting glitterself then walking together at a slow pace towards the changing rooms.

“What’s been up with you lately, bro?”

Tetsurou cringed a bit internally at the masculine name. Glit knew it was a term of endearment, but glit still far preferred to be addressed neutrally.

“…Hey!”

Tetsurou realized with a start that glitters friend had still been talking to glitter and glit had missed most of it.

“Hey, what’s up with you lately? You’ve been super zoned out and preoccupied. It’s not really great to worry that much about things in general, but you saw what happened on the court. You know it can be dangerous when you’re not paying attention.” Concern shone in glitters friend’s eyes.

By now the two had arrived in the dressing rooms so Tetsurou took the opportunity to turn away and hide glitters face under the pretense of changing shirts.

“I…it’s nothing, really. I’m fine.”

“You’re not though, and that’s a problem.” Glitters friend had now stepped around so they were face to face once more. “I know you. How long have we been friends? I know that you’ve been stressing hardcore about something and that it’s really been affecting you, even if you try not to show it.”

By now the confrontation had begun to attract the attention of the other teammates gathered in the small changing room. Tetsurou found it hard to meet their eyes as glit grabbed glitters bag and closed the locker. Everyone was waiting to see what their captain would do, waiting to support Tetsurou, but Tetsurou wasn’t so sure that support would last through the revelation of glitters actual worry. Glit was so scared. Revealing something like this was such a risk. But then, a niggling doubt proposed, maybe Tetsurou wasn’t giving glitters teammates the credit they deserved? This team had spent so much time together. They were all so extremely close. Tetsurou thought back to the moment glit had looked up from the floor to see everyone’s faces full of concern and care. Would all of that really disappear so easily?

The entire locker room seemed to have gone quiet as each player devoted their attention to Tetsurou’s look of agonized indecision. Finally, the vice captain reached out to rest a hand on glitters shoulder. “We’re here for you, man.”

“Not.” Tetsurou choked out.

“What?”

Tetsurou raised glitters eyes to look directly at glitters team. “I’m not a man.”

The declaration was met with surprised faces all around and Tetsurou’s heart seemed to stop as glit waited for the inevitable wall of hatred to finally fall and crush glitter. However, as glitters teammate’s faces changed it wasn’t into looks of disgust but instead curiosity, support, and even some understanding.

The grip on Tetsurou’s shoulder tightened supportively and glit looked over to see that glitters friend was still beside glitter. Shocked, maybe, but definitely not getting ready to punch glitter either.

“Umm, ok. Ok, yeah.” glitters friend nodded their head to themself and seemed to regain surety as they talked. “Uh, what are you then?”

Tetsurou took a shuddering breath, never before quite believing glit could make it this far. In a quiet, shaky voice glit explained, “I’m agender. It uh, it’s basically like I don’t really have a gender. I’m not a guy or a girl or anything else like that. Does…does that make sense?”

Some of Tetsurou’s team still looked a little confused, but others were starting to slowly nod, as if they were processing the idea.

One of the team’s wing spikers spoke up. “I’ll admit that I’ve never really heard of something like this before, and I don’t fully understand it, but I’m definitely willing to try and learn.” Many of the team nodded in agreement.

Another added sympathetically, “Wow. That’s pretty big. You must have been super nervous to share that. Thanks for trusting us.”

“I was really scared,” Tetsurou agreed. “I didn’t know how you guys would react, and so many people are really horrible or even violent about this kind of thing. I- I’m glad I did though. It feels really good being able to tell all my friends about who I really am instead of bottling it up.”

The room filled with a chorus of support.

“Of course we’re here for you! We’re a team!”

“We would never act like those judgy assholes!”

“Hey, If anyone gives you shit I’ll take them down myself! I mean, not that you probably couldn’t take them on your own anyways.”

One of Tetsurou’s closest friends from the team walked up and gave glitter a short hug, looking slightly embarrassed at the display of affection, but determined nonetheless. “You may not be our bro anymore, but you’re definitely still our sibling.”

The team once again nodded together and threw out more words of encouragement.

“Umm…” Tetsurou looked up to see the timid first year from before had their hand raised. “My sister’s actually trans. I mean, I know it’s not exactly the same thing, since she’s a girl and you’re not a gender at all, but it does mean that I kinda know some things about this. Is there any specific pronouns you want us to use for you?”

“I’m not exactly sure yet, to be honest. I’m still kind of figuring that stuff out.”

“Well,” the vice captain started, finally removing their hand from Tetsurou’s shoulder, “We’ll be here for you the whole time. Just feel free to talk to us instead of bottling it all up again, alright? We want to learn more and support you.”