*insert good title here*

99% of queer discourse stops right before they define the true difference between bisexual and pansexual!

Having seen some births now i can say that dog birth is amazing cos they just slip n slide out one after the other like a little conveyor belt. And theyre so little and unformed. And then UNGULATE BIRTHS ... are amazing for the opposite reason which is that 10mins after being born they are filing their taxes. Unless they are goats, in which case they are committing tax fraud instead

Goats are what is called a precocial species, which means that shortly after birth they are able to do many thimgs on their own, such as standing, walking, eating, and embezzlement

I love that this joke works in English even though it's not written in English.

tumblr friendships are hard to maintain like im sorry i know i havent talked to you in 5 months but you’re still super rad and i still consider us friends im just dumb

#if you’re wondering if this is for you #it’s probably for you

If I have ever messaged you or messaged me and never heard from me again, I still consider us friends. I just suck

To everybody I’ve done this to I’m VERY sorry

You... brought her home, right? Called her owners? Did something to get her generally in the direction of the people who certainly must miss their daughter dearly?

no they just took a picture for tumblr and then threw the cat down a sewer drain

yay!

someone needs to check up on the author of diary of a wimpy kid bc what if his publishing company is holding him hostage