Ghosted - MYGxOC - One Shot
Summary: I moved on. I truly believed that I did. It really is cursed that we have the same friend group
Pairing: Yoongi x F!Reader | Mentions of other BTS members
Genre: Angst, Heart break, Growth.
Warnings: Profanity, Alcohol, Cigarettes (it’s no good for you don’t do it pls), Driving under the influence (please don’t be a murderer), Namjoon DRIVING (please idk it was too late)
Yoongi had a tough time opening up to people, but he told me everything. He opened up about his family, his heartbreaks and trauma. He was always a vulnerable, open book with me. I could always feel like myself around him, without any restriction.
We stuck with each other through everything. I held him when he cried, and he would lay beside me when I needed him, too. It could have been the comfort he gave, or the fact that I was a raging empath. All I knew was that I fell helplessly and recklessly in love with him.
I cared about him so much, but in the end we were just friends.
Of course, there was always an opportunity for me to finally tell him how I felt. How going to the market with him felt like we were an old couple, especially when we fought over which toilet paper to buy. How waking up on his chest and listening to his soft snores felt like paradise. Or even how anywhere feels like home with his arms around me.
Even in all these opportune moments, I never mentioned a thing. Yoongi’s commitment issues applied to everyone and anyone.
If he felt confused about a relationship: Ghosted.
If someone had feelings for him: Ghosted.
If someone makes him feel awkward or embarrassed: Ghosted.
There was even a few months where he completely ignored Hoseok after he threw up in the latter’s bed after a bar crawl.
I guess I always knew deep down that one day, it would then apply to me.
It was unexpected when it happened, though. It was just one canceled plan after another, then ignoring my texts a few days at a time. He even stopped picking up calls after a while.
Hey… I’m not sure if you just need more time or how I can help, but please let me know if I did something wrong. I miss you.
To my dismay, there was still a dense silence on the other end.
Days turned to weeks, weeks turned to months, months now a year. Now I lay on my couch at- what is it? Ten something at night? Scrolling through our year-old messages hoping to find an answer to his new behavior toward me, since it was the only thing left after he had blocked me on everything else.
A knock on my door had pulled me from my thoughts and I dragged myself along to open it.
“Afternoon, sunshine!” At the door stood Namjoon, with a few cans of beer in a plastic bag.
“Hey, what brings you here?” I asked, stepping aside for him to come through the door.
“I’m here to pregame with you, and take you to Jin’s grad party with me.” He says, handing me the bag and clumsily taking his shoes off.
Namjoon has been coming over these last couple of days to see me, and distract me from the self torment I have been putting myself through over the loss of my best friend.
“I told you I wasn’t going to go, big head.” I say, shutting the door and making my way back to the couch.
I slumped onto the couch, lying face down. I could hear Namjoon’s shuffling as he followed me and plopped himself onto the floor beside me.
“I won’t have any fun without you, Sora. Besides, what else are you going to be doing here? Crying over him again?” He said, finally cracking open a can of brew.
I rolled my eyes and turned to him with a huff. “This isn’t about him, Joon. I’m just too tired to go out okay?”
“Oh, so you weren’t on your phone reading the same messages from forever ago and wallowing in self pity before I got here?” He snickered at my silence. “Cat’s got your tongue?”
I punched his shoulder and reached my hand out for him to pass me a beer. I sat up and cracked the cool can for myself, taking a long swig.
“He never really said if he was coming or not. But either way, Jin would really like for you to be there.” He said, turning his whole body to me.
It was difficult to wrap myself around the situation. Why it was that Yoongi was ignoring me, and yet all at the same time he was still keeping in touch with our friends all the same.
“It’s fine. I am over it. Really.” I lied, taking another sip of the cold beer.
“Good, then go to your room and get dressed. We leave after these are finished.” He pointed to the four cans of beer left in the bag.
“He never mentioned anything about it. When your name is brought up, he would just walk away. We don’t even know.” Namjoon reassures me after my question about Yoongi.
“It’s too confusing for me to even think about anymore.” I said, finishing off the last of my beer while Namjoon drove us to the usual club we go to. I pulled the passenger mirror down and fixed my cleavage in my royal blue bodysuit.
Confusing is definitely one way to put the situation between Yoongi and I. At this point down the line, I don’t know what else I could have done differently.
I always took off of work to go out and support his gigs. I always planned his birthdays, and made room for him in every single aspect of my life. Now, there is just this empty part of my life that has been missing.
“What if he is there?” Namjoon asked, his eyes locked on the road before him.
“Hello? Did you not hear what I just said?” I asked, picking at the fishnets under my ripped denim high-waisted shorts.
The thought of Yoongi being there is enough to make my stomach ache, as it is exactly what I was afraid of. I know how confrontational I will be if I see Yoongi. To be honest, not only was I hurt, I was angry.
“I don’t know.” I replied. “There is a fifty-fifty chance I will tell him to fuck himself, or I will actually be over it and drink to utter belligerence.”
That actually sounds really nice.
“Well I hope it’s the second one.” He laughs, pulling into the parking garage. “Not to say he doesn’t deserve the other option, though.
“Sora! Joonie! You made it!” Jin flashes his bright smile and pulls me in for a hug the second I walked into the VIP room.
Jin and Namjoon’s parents invest in this club, so we always receive top priority when we come.
“I had to come for you, are you kidding?” The rest of the boys are already here, laughing and drinking in their natural state. Jimin was cracking up on the couch as Jungkook and Taehyung drunkenly danced around.
My entire body stills at the sight of one person. The one I have been longing to see for months, and the same person deliberately ignoring my existence.
He wore the black jacket that I got for his birthday two years ago. His hair was now a bright orange and a little longer than what it was. He looked brighter in many ways, but what really stole my attention was the person right under his arm.
She leaned on him like it was somewhere she belonged. He held her by her shoulder, smiling at whatever it was she just whispered in his ear.
I’ve never seen her before, but everything about her was perfect. The way she laughed, how her hand fit right into his.
“Well get in here you two! We’ve got open bar tonight!” Jin tugged me along, my eyes never leaving Yoongi once.
“Guys, look who we have here!” Jin announced with his arm around my shoulder.
“Sora!” Jungkook and Taehyung put their dancing on pause to greet me, and Jimin poured two shot glasses for Namjoon and I.
Taehyung wrapped his arms around me and swayed me back and forth.
“Sora! It's been so long, and you look amazing!” He squeezed me in his arms and we nearly fell to the floor.
“Thank you Tae!” I held him by his arms to stand him upright again. He dipped down and kissed my cheek.
My eyes go back to Yoongi, who was now drinking his usual Old Fashioned. The girl leaning on his shoulder was staring at me now with a smile on her face. I smiled back and Namjoon had pulled me along with him to the opposite side of the couch.
I didn’t know what hurt more. The fact that Yoongi was still ignoring me, the girl on his arm, or the fact that she doesn’t know what he and I have been through.
We are now sitting directly across from Yoongi and his friend. My heart clenched as he smiled at her and brushed her fringe from her face.
I crossed one leg over another and Namjoon had placed an arm over my shoulder. He gave me a reassuring smile, silently lending me his support.
Yoongi watched silently, his fingers gripping tightly onto his glass now.
“Alright you two!” Jimin slurred his words. “You have got some catching up to do.” He sloppily passed us the two shot glasses he prepared before and held his own up after. We quickly took the shot and I watched as Namjoon’s face twisted at the taste of the bitter liquid.
“Another one!” Jungkook shouts, coming over to pour another shot into our glasses.
“Namjoon is driving, I’ll drink for him.” I say, picking up the glass from the table and throwing it back. The second shot was significantly worse than the first.
“Ooh, what is going on here?” Jin asked in a joking manner, nudging Namjoon on the arm.
“Nothing man.” Namjoon responds as he pours me a glass of soda. His comment made Yoongi scoff.
Our eyes met for just a quick second before he turned his attention back to the girl who was fiddling with his rings now.
“Whatever you say- Hey let's go dance!” Jin says, quickly changing the subject.
“Yes! Let’s go, Sora!” Jungkook says, reaching for my hand that was resting freely on Namjoon’s thigh.
I quickly threw back the third shot and chased it with the soda before following the youngest to the dance floor.
There were far too many thoughts racing through my mind now. Too many memories that I thought I have forgotten, suddenly front and center.
But we are over it now, Sora.
The rest of the boys followed shortly after and began to take over the dance floor. Jungkook stayed close to me, wrapping one arm around my waist and holding me close as we swayed to the rhythm.
Girls flocking Jimin and Tae the second they step foot onto the dance floor, Jin and Namjoon were awkwardly swaying to the music together.
I half expected Yoongi to be at the party, and I really thought I would be more prepared to see him considering it has already been a year since it all happened. However, now I feel like I’ve been thrown through a whirlwind of emotions.
The music has switched up to more upbeat songs. The boys cheered and I tried to keep up, but I kept falling behind. My mind was too occupied with thoughts of Yoongi, holding on to someone else.
How did they meet? What did she say to make him change his mind and commit to someone?
If I said it first, would things be different?
I pulled Jungkook’s arm off of me and smiled at him. I pointed over to Jimin and Tae who were still occupying the dance floor. He nodded in understanding and pulled away to our friends who needed some help with the amount of girls circling around them.
I stepped away from the lit floor and sweaty bodies to take a seat at the bar. As busy as the bar was, the bartenders always seemed to keep their cool.
“Hey Sora! What can I get for you?” The bartender asked. It is always funny how the bartenders can recognize me, and I could never register any of their names to memory.
“Hey, can you just give me a bottle of whatever?” I asked, exhausted with the events of the night already.
“Yeah, dark or light?” He asked, setting a chilled glass in front of me.
“Dark. Matter of fact, just give me one of Yoongi’s bottles.” I rested my chin on my hand and pointed to the various top-shelf whisky bottles.
“You got it!” He turned and reached for the bottle and slid it over my way. “I’ll tab it to the room, feel free to take it with you.” He winked and turned to the next customer, taking another order.
I poured myself a glass of the brown liquid. As the liquid filled the glass, I watched the ice crack at the contact. I set the glass down and drink the dark liquid slowly. The bitter taste leaves my tongue numb.
“You fucking suck at drinking.” Yoongi handed me a can of coke to wash down the whiskey that I stole a drink of.
“No, Yoongi, I enjoy drinking things that don’t taste like they came from sewage.” I chugged the can of soda to relieve myself of the painful burn.
“I already told you, you didn’t need to drink this with me.” He said, leaning back with his arm on the back of the couch.
I leaned into his side and took the glass from his hands again, not paying any attention to the horror movie playing on the screen.
“What kind of friend would I be if I let you drink by yourself?” I asked, forcing another gulp of the strong liquor.
“Besides-” I start before washing the devilish drink down. “I’m sure the taste will go away soon.”
He chuckled and pulled me in closer to continue watching the movie that I have long forgotten.
After all this time, I have finally learned to enjoy the crisp feeling of whiskey. The taste was numbing, and all other pain I felt subsided alongside the stringing at the back of my throat. I understand now why it was his favorite.
My arms began to feel lighter, my face was warmer now too. As much as I would like to lose my focus, the only thing on my mind now is Yoongi.
Only the bittersweet memories are left in my mind. His silent laughter that shook through his shoulders. The cute scrunches of his nose when he felt shy. The fiery passion in his eyes when he performed on stage.
The recognition of him, happily with someone else, hits me far too hard for me to be okay.
For once I just want to stop lying to myself. Stop lying to my friends and pretending that I am fine.
I downed the entire glass and poured another. The burn of the whiskey brought tears to my eyes.
“So, why are you not up in the room?” The bartender asked as he wiped down his work space.
“The boys came down to dance for a moment.” I answered, downing another glass. ”Say, I have a question.” I asked, wiping my lips off.
“Shoot.” He said, leaning onto the bar to hear me better.
“What would you do if someone drops you, and you don’t hear from them for say- a year? And you see them again?” I asked, slightly slurring my words now.
The bartender pours me another glass of whiskey and sets it down before answering.
“I guess that depends on what I want from them.” He responds, watching me throw back another glass.
“I just want answers. Why I was ghosted and blocked out of nowhere, and why he- why he acts like- like-” I sighed and slammed the glass back onto the bar top.
He smiled and poured me another glass, also handing me a glass of water as a reminder to slow down.
“Well- I guess one thing I would want to do is remind myself that the people in my life have chosen me.” He sighed and watched my reaction closely, making sure he wasn't saying the wrong thing. “And if they don’t, then that is all the closure I would ever need.”
I closed my eyes and felt how his words pierce right through my soul.
“Thank you for your honesty.” I sighed and took a quick sip of the water he put in front of me.
A deep sigh rips through my chest, and I pick up the bottle. I picked up the bottle and pressed the rim to my lips, dragging the whiskey down in gulps. I wanted to take the ache away, the feeling of being unwanted that has haunted me for the last year.
Sliding off of the bar stool, I stood still to settle myself back on my feet. I trusted my feet to take me where I needed to be.
I held onto the wall and walked back up to the VIP section, passing the door to our private room and out to the patio. The world spinned, faces were no longer recognizable. My knees buckled as I approached the patio door, bottle in hand.
After pulling the door open, the crisp summer wind blows right into my face, further blurring my vision. The only thing I can see is a lone person, standing near the railing that watches over the starry night sky.
“Are you okay?” The person asked, slightly muffled and holding a cigarette in his lips.
“No, I am not okay.” I say honestly. “The person I’ve wanted to see for so long is here, but he is with someone.”
I hear him take a deep breath, and with an almost recognizable voice he beckons me to come near. I took staggered steps, almost giving out before I leaned onto the railing as well.
“I’m sorry stranger- I don’t mean to put that on to you so suddenly.” I wiped my eyes and brought the bottle back up to my lips.
“What are you drinking thats got you all fucked?” He asked before taking another drag of his burning cigarette.
“Whiskey. I used to hate this stuff.” I said, holding it up to my lips again for another slip.
“Why did you start drinking it?” He asked.
I brought my attention up to the moon and stared for a minute.
“It feels good. The stinging pain, and the numbness that comes afterward.” I say, holding up the bottle to the moonlight. “It was a remedy to help me forget everything.” I took another swig of the dark liquor, completely losing count of how much of this I have had by now.
“It isn’t working tonight though.” I slurred, fully resting my weight on the rail now.
“On the contrary, I think you’ve had too much.” The man says. He pulled off his jacket and wrapped it over my shoulder.
He asked me if I was going back inside yet, but I declined.
“Yoongi is in there, and I don’t think I can take much more of seeing the man I love with someone else.” I huffed. “I also don’t want to make him feel uncomfortable.”
He just mumbled a quick “Okay.” and went back inside.
I crouched and took a seat right beneath the railing, firmly pressing my back into the glass. I finished off the bottle of whiskey and smiled in triumph.
You aren’t the only one that has changed, Yoongi.
I leaned my head back and watched the stars shine over the sky. The stars all blurred into the night sky, leaving small shimmers along the world.
“Hey!” A low voice booms through the patio from the door. I look over to a tall figure coming toward me.
The person comes over and sticks their hand out to me. With focus, I can make out Namjoon’s concerned face as he waits for me.
I can feel my face burn as my eyes glaze over. I looked down and let my tears fall freely.
“I’m sorry Joon.” I whispered.
He sighed and pulled me up by my arm, allowing me to rest my head on his hard chest.
“It’s okay. You’re okay.” He says while wrapping his arms around me, swaying me along with the breeze to soothe my shaking form.
“Yeah.” I sniffled, completely spent and drunk. I wrapped my arms around his waist, fingers still clad around the neck of the bottle. “The bartender said that Yoongi didn’t choose me.”
“Do you still want to talk to him?” Namjoon asked with a soothing voice.
My memories with Yoongi come through my mind. All the good, and all the bad. Memories that kept me sane for so long. Also memories that are no longer ours to make.
So the question really did shake me. Did I want to talk to him?
At the bottom of my heart I know I do. I deserve an explanation for his actions. However, things may just be better as beautiful memories instead of cruel memories.
“I- I don’t think so.” I whispered. “I don’t want to.”
“Okay, Well let's get going.” He moves back and crouches, allowing me to climb onto his back.
I put down the bottle of nearly finished whiskey and slipped my arms through the jacket that was draped over my shoulders. When I leaned onto Namjoon, he wrapped his arms under me to push me upward as he stood, slightly bouncing up to secure his hands under me.
“Namjoon?” I asked, leaning my head against his shoulder blade.
“Hmm?” He said, gradually walking toward the door leading back to the VIP section.
“Thank you.” I said, drifting off into tiresome slumber.
His words of response were too far away now as my breath mellows.
“Namjoon! Where are you going?”
Namjoon briefly turned around, trying his best to not drop you as he maneuvered through the club hallway.
“Oh, Hey. Just going to take Sora home.” Namjoon responded to Jin who has finally rallied up the bro’s
Yoongi had his arm around the girl, yet his attention never once left your sleeping form. Your words on the patio are still fresh in his mind.
“Anyways- I’ll catch y'all later.” Namjoon says, readjusting you on his back.
“And Yoongi-” He says on his way out. “I don’t know what you said to her out there, but you know what she deserves.”
The older man just clenched his jaw and turned his attention back to his partner, who sported a confused look as Namjoon finally left.
