#forgetting you

I'm really excited about this one :) It's canon divergent, and I typically don't enjoy writing or reading much about Order era Jily, but I am a sucker for a memory loss story. In this story, they are together but not yet married and James gets hit with a strong Obliviate during a mission. I could probably break it into chapters and post the first two fairly quickly but I'm thinking it might be better as a 20-25k one shot. I want to write more of it before I decide one way or another.

When I found you I thought I found home. I thought if home is a person then you're it, if home is a feeling of peace then with you is where I belong. But overtime, I came to a realization it was just another hotel.

I thought at least I'd get to be there with you like I was with the guy before you, cause then I've learned something and if anything happens I know I'll fight instead of letting go.

And time did pass and so did the feelings and I waited every time and everything in between that, was hell and heaven collided into some place I don't get to name or stay in.

I wrote in my room, I walked through those long halls, I stared at the city lights, I stood by the floor-to-ceiling windows, I danced around the empty ballroom, I cried in the bathroom, I starved myself, I sat in the dark with the TV on. All I did was wait for you to knock on the door and if someone were to barged in the room I'd pray it's you cause only you got the key.

I thought hotels are lonely. But I never felt more empty than when I knew it in my soul I've been letting you go, slowly, completely, maybe, whole-heartedly (I still think it's impossible). What is it that made it all so gut-wrenchingly hard?

I don't know you well, hell, it's like I don't know you at all. We don't have one single moment where I wasn't the only one falling head-over-heels, weak in the knees, clenching my fist. And if we did had that, what would I be now?

I looked at the sky and there wasn't one single star, I swallowed my feelings and there wasn't one single tear. I saw the reflection on the window, I see the rear view mirror, not even a glimpse sight of you but a plentiful of surprisingly, life-saving sorrow.

I got out somehow, I won't love you tomorrow.