Please look at my cat, he has no braincells
noise dept.
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@yobcore
Please look at my cat, he has no braincells

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Vor mir steht die fetteste Katze der Bundesrepublik. Grau getigert, winziges Köpfchen, mit kurzen dürren Beinchen und absurd runder Mittelpartie. "Die ist.. niedlich" sage ich zu ihrer Besitzerin. "Ja, das ist Pummelchen!" erwidert sie lächelnd. "Eigentlich heißt sie Lucy".
"Ah. Wo, äh, kommt der Spitzname her?" frage ich mit all der Ernsthaftigkeit die ich mir gerade abverlangen kann. Diese Katze ist kurz davor, wegzurollen. Was angesichts ihrer Beinlänge wahrscheinlich die effizienteste Fortbewegungsmethode wäre. Ich nehme mir vor, sie mal bei Gelegenheit probemäßig mit dem Fuß anzustupsen. Vielleicht rollt sie dann weg.
"Ach, die ist gar nicht dick!" Sagt ihre Besitzerin. Wilde Aussage, die ich aus diplomatischen Gründen jetzt mal nicht hinterfrage. "Das sind nur Gase". Ah. Die Vorstellung, dass diese winzige Katze einfach nur ein Abgasproblem hat macht's irgendwie auch nicht besser. Ich möchte in dem Moment nicht weiter über Katzen mit Blähungen reden.
Mitten in der Nacht landen 4,5kg Tigerkatze auf meinem Brustkorb. Es ist Pummelchen. Ich greife sie ganz vorsichtig um den Bauch, um sie vom Bett auf den Boden zu setzen. Und dann passiert etwas entsetzliches, etwas unvollstellbares, etwas so furchtbares dass es meine damaligen Vorstellungen von Horror umräumte und erweiterte: Pummelchens verhärteter Bauch gibt unter meinem Girff nach. Wie ein flauschiger Blasebalg des Grauens lässt sie einen fast schon beeindruckenden Katzenfurz ab, maunzt vorwurfsvoll und zischt davon. Ich ersticke augenblicklich.
Source: hoseobiiiiiii._.0410
stanced up and ready to go

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an enlightened man 🙏 😇
When hunting for mice in winter, red and Arctic fox are known to plunge headfirst at speeds of 2–4 meters per second, but their sharp noses
When hunting for mice in winter, red and Arctic fox are known to plunge headfirst at speeds of 2–4 meters per second, but their sharp noses reduce the impact force in snow and protect them from injury, according to a new Cornell University study. The fundamental research sheds light on the biomechanics of the unique hunting behavior (known as mousing), advances our understanding of animal adaptations and offers insights into snow injuries people experience during snowboarding or skiing. The study appears in the Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences.
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The gaslight is strong with this cat
deinosuchus wouldve loved a lamb souvlaki
the downside to harassing a cat constantly is that you run out of ways to bother them. so sure she's "well socialized" but how am i supposed to get revenge when she is being SO so annoying?
she enjoys this. what is left?

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yoshi voice: yoshi
*entering any conversation* hello I am the most nervous animal on earth please socialize with me I have nothing to say
Get you a man who stares into your soul like this 😼

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