Born to :3 forced to :/

puts my uncomfortably wet hand on your shoulder. see here, gay boy- can i call you gay boy?

Getting down on my knees and thanking the humans who invented dishwashers and washing machines.

InsNe that dishwashers are more efficient and easier than just washing them manually but they also use less water. It’s a win win situation

They ALSO sterilize dishes, due to operating at a far higher temperature than human hands could ever tolerate. It's a win every way.

rip king

e me a mail

make the attachment a pic of a snail

love it when mutuals appear in my activity like omigosh hiii

I would like to wake up to being held which I guess makes me some kind of depraved pervert

some people like to get mad at disability benefits because they think its unfair people who dont work get a payout from the government while they have to work 50 hours at the human suffering factory every week. but if you tell them "yeah that sucks i think you should also get a universal allowance and not have to work 50 hours at the human suffering factory every week" thats apparently the wrong answer.

i love those blinking red lights they put on top of radio towers and windmills and skyscrapers etc, theyre like electronic flowers or something to me

Quanties of fruits that I would eat in a day if I was rich enough

disappears into the fog with a gay little run that pisses you off

Just found a $50 bill in the street let’s hear it for girls posting their Ws online

50 foreskin dollars

mordecai with donut and carl is such an embodiment of that one post that's like "is that my..? fuuuuck that's my circus. and are those? dammit, those are my monkeys."

Lady in drive through had a bearded dragon sitting on her boobs and she held it up and let me pet it. killing myself canceled