ok ig

Americans invented tbe worlds burgled and burglars to apply to robberies because the concept of losing their burger is the scariest thing to them

Follow me for more wikipedia ^

The Hamburglar is a reunion of terms

people on here are always saying “we NEED a story where the art of storytelling is abandoned” like ugh literary devices are soo annoying like that wouldn’t happen in real life that only happened to further the story (why is there story in my story) why would orpheus turn around when he was explicitly told not to why would icarus fly so close to the sun romeo&juliet catcher in the rye why are they so earnest why pour your heart and soul into anything why bother why cant all art be quippy logical monotony like my marvel movies there’s a void in my heart bc i refused to fill it and the curtains were blue

“i hate poetry its so pretentious” but then you reblog a quote or a throwaway line and say “why does this go so hard” you are desperate for poetry you are starved for it and u dont even realise you’re hungry

gonna start making snopes-style responses to urban legends about tumblr

duuuuuude you have GOT to come out tonight we're enacting cruelty upon those who have transgressed so badly that we can justify any act against them... and you KNOW we're interpreting our delight as moral righteousness... Yeah it's fucking crazyyyyyyy get an Uber

the second 'o' in "zoologist" is putting in heavy duty work. girl is working two jobs

Showing up to The Odyssey in IMAX like

I live a very balanced life of noticing things nobody else does and not noticing the things that literally everybody notices

therapypilled deadbeat father: I really don't have the headspace for custody right now

this lifetime is very bizarre and then youre not even supposed to also be bizarre. Ok