uh welp

look at my head boy

Burger queen divorced him

Everyone envies me for my shrimp lighter

[ID: photos of a lighter shaped like a red shrimp where OP flicks back the shrimp's head to reveal the lighter part. End ID.]

float like a butterfly (nervously forgets end of quote) green like a pea

what if it was called magic the slathering and it was about lotions and ointments

so many people post like they are from the dimension of No Misogyny because the misogyny all around them just registers to them as fine and normal

the famously unproblematic white authors of ao3

it’s so magical and beautiful that there are sprawling interconnected cave systems carved deep into the earth by various geological forces and you don’t have to go in them. there are miles and miles of stone passageways in total darkness that require you to exhale all the air out of your lungs to squeeze through parts of them and you don’t have to be there. some of these squeezes are underwater and require cave divers to take off their oxygen tanks and push them through ahead of them and me i am above ground looking at the sky as we speak. there are untold subterranean wonders no human has ever seen and i will not be the one to discover them #grateful #blessed