uh welp

everything you see on tumblr is biased towards the perspectives of the types of people who post a lot on tumblr. this is essential to remember

affirmations they will not kill me at work today. it is not in my job description to get killed. if they did kill me at work that would be weird and probably not worth it for them

honestly the circus didn't seem all that amazing or digital to me

You don't mean that.

and to say this as soon as pride month starts...

dudes online used to spend 72 hours on photoshop uninterrupted editing people’s faces to look scary and we called the finished product some shit like jeff the killer and put him in spirit halloween and on wikipedia These days you open tumblr and top of dash is a 42 note edit of jerma’s face so fucked up looking that it could’ve been used to texture a corpse in a y2k valve game and you get a little nauseous and otherwise just keep scrolling. and this is known as “a tuesday

New bruno mars song called I'll kill you

you can just take it from their cart. its not their possession if they haven't bought it yet

if i were thrift shopping and you put your hands into my cart to take a unique handpicked item i was intending to purchase i would break your legs

[looking at people younger than me] you have your whole life ahead of you [looking at people older than me] you have your whole life ahead of you [looking at myself] its over

they need to invent the opposite of an nda called an fda where u have to tell everyone everything

subpoena

tumblr

alcohol

war thunder forums

if you vote me for president i vow to make everything the ocean again. no more land only ocean. this will solve all of our problems and replace them with new, far more interesting problems

btw it's so fucking stupid you can be anxious physically in your body even after you've decided mentally you don't care. I'm supposed to be in charge here

basketball dracula isn't real dude he can't-- *sudden squeaking noises from the shadows*

*two pool toys having sex tumble by in the wind* oh thank god

*thunderous slam dunk noise*