Speak kindly to yourself

But she was the most important woman in the universe to the Doctor, to so many she impacted; beautiful, brilliant, adored. She was the love of his live(s), and so, so many who met her were touched in some way just because she was herself, and because her conviction, her love, and her compassion were so powerful that they radiated across universes, throughout time, and changed everything, over and over again.

That means that if the village says you shouldn't get pregnant when you don't have a man to provide for you and you get pregnant regardless, they can refuse to support you. They can reject and stigmatize your child.

When you make a decision—any decision—from what you wear and who you associate with to who you will be romantically involved with and what that will look like, to your education and career, family planning and whether you will leave your partner if they abuse you—the village has a say in all of it.

A proper social state, however, decides which services to provide, how much to fund them etc, there are still cultural biases there, but it won't tell you how to live your life. If all university programs are free, you can go study liberal arts instead of law, your parents can't stop you, and if the state provides a stipend, free housing and free meals while you study and also takes care of your basic needs afterwards, you have the ultimate freedom to do whatever the fuck you want to do with your life.

Want to have 8 children and a trad lifestyle in the countryside? Cool, they'll have healthcare, schooling, meals, competent teachers, after-school activities, public transit, public parks and activities—all for free. And none of that will be dependent on how many people around you like you and your kids personally and what they think of your lifestyle.

You want to be aggressively transgender and live in the city with your 8 person polycule and spend your days doing art and running a café that only does matcha? You can do that too. You'll get free housing for all of you and the business space provided for you, even if everyone in your neighborhood thinks you're weird.

The bureaucrats handing out the collective resources ideally shouldn't give a shit what you do with them.

When I applied for uni and chose a liberal arts degree instead of STEM, nobody told me "yeah no sorry we don't approve of that, you'll have to do something we think is useful or pay for it yourself". I got a free education plus a stipend, subsidized housing and food and everything else.