this blog has tenure

fuck i’m trying to catch all these flies but they think my vinegar is stupid. i have honey also but that’s for me i can’t give them any of that

management trying to hire and retain employees

unfortunately i could never be nonchalant because i am not well in the head and also my soul is on fire

no one says big mood anymore. no one even says mood. no one says anything. all thats left is a dry wind, that scours my face until i bleed

having anti role models is a beautiful thing. it's not easy to live up to someone else's behavior but it is easy to lasso yourself into behaving right when you realize you're reminding yourself of the worst person youve ever met in your entire life

do you want to play dead bodies with me

floats along your dash face down and quiet and cold

my farming sim game will have animal butchery as a normalized part of the gameplay loop to act as a lightning rod to draw all the discourse and thinkpieces away from topics that would annoy me more

in my farming sim game that has animal butchery as a normalized part of the gameplay loop, shipped products will be sold on a weekly basis, not a daily one. you get a big windfall once a week and then you budget around that. if you want more money in the interim you have to go sell to the local merchants whatever products they specialize in.

in my farming sim game, getting married to one of the townspeople will have a significant impact on your gameplay. if you marry the rival farmer, their smaller farm will be merged with yours. if you marry the town alchemist/doctor you get a buff to all your alchemy and you wake up from getting knocked out in your own home instead of their clinic. if you marry the priestess she uh, idk she does weather related divine magic for you so you can choose the weather, idk i haven't thought too hard about that one yet

my farming sim game will have a MILF you can actually F

People are so stupid about snakes. If there's a little black racer chilling outside just leave it alone, you don't have to kill it, it's probably dealing with all your pests for you, jesus christ

the last coral snake fatality in florida that I could find was due to the person who died trying to kill it, as a note

I WOULD HAVE PREFERRED NOT TO THROW HIM BUT I WAS IN A HURRY

Weirdest day of that copperhead's life

Am I missing extremely important context

Sounds like you should've fucked the hint guy

dont stop

mtg's the hobbit set is fucking hysterical because as it turns out there are not enough things in one very short book to make even a small magic set and so they are literally having to make cards of every ranbdom sentence that was said in the book just to fill slots

wouldn’t the Lord of the rings work better in that case?

ah, well, you see, they already made a Lord of the Rings set in 2023. it was a huge success and so they decided that clearly iut needed a sequel, and what better to form a sequel adaptation of comparable scope than the hobbit, something which has never gone wrong before,

Hi. Im the baby carrot thats withering away on the bottom shelf of your fridge. I could have been a treats for a little rabbit creature. And now? Mold is only thing that eats me. Do you love being selfish