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@yeahimatransman
Happy Pride Month! I am supposed to get top surgery on June 26th, but it was denied by my insurance so I am trying to appeal. I really hope it gets approved because I can't afford it otherwise. I just want to be able to get my surgery. This is stressing me out.
Well insurance denied it because of the time frame for how long I have been out. BCBS required two years and that won't be until November. They rescheduled me for the next available which isn't until March 2027. I am so bummed. 😭
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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Happy Pride Month! I am supposed to get top surgery on June 26th, but it was denied by my insurance so I am trying to appeal. I really hope it gets approved because I can't afford it otherwise. I just want to be able to get my surgery. This is stressing me out.
Got a comment from my coworker today about how much my jawline has changed and is become more square. I keep staring at myself in the mirror because I honestly can't tell the difference since I am with myself all the time. It was exciting to hear from someone else though. Plus she was excited about it for me and I love the energy.
Also been getting gendered correctly in drive thrus more often which is also awesome. Throws me off every time. Makes the times I get misgendered more sad at the same time though. Oh well. You win some you lose some.
Good times here!
Signs from being younger that probably are signs of being trans:
Making a sock penis and wearing it in my room. Never admitting it, but wanting a penis.
Fantasizing that I was turned into a boy and choosing to stay that way.
Taking quizzes that claim to "guess your gender" and wanting to have the results say I was a boy.
This one makes me laugh, but pretending to be a boy when I would play on Club Penguin.
Really liking how I looked in our jazz band uniform which includes a men's dress shirt, dress pants, a tie, and a vest.
Signs in adulthood and right now that probably are signs of me being trans:
Buying a packer and really enjoying wearing it in public.
Loving the bulge my packer gives me and wanting to look at it all day long/wear it everyday.
Wanting a real penis.
I want a beard so bad.
Buying a binder and being frustrated that it didn't make me completely flat because I have a large chest. Kind of liking how it looked anyway when I was able to get over that and see that it did make my chest smaller.
Still fantasizing of being turned into a man and choosing to stay that way.
Going by he/him pronouns on here.
Changing my pronouns on Facebook to see it say "changed HIS profile picture" and seeing that I was listed as "brother" and "son" on my siblings and parents pages. (Changed it back out of fear of getting caught).
Changing my gender on Facebook to Male even though it's hidden.
Picturing myself in the future presenting as male with short hair, a beard, and having gotten top surgery.
I want to be a man.
AND YET I am still struggling with believing I am actually trans or that I should move forward with transitioning. There is so much that goes into this. Internalized transphobia. Inability to let go of my religion even if I don't necessarily believe because it's what I have known my whole life and all my friends are there. Religious trauma and being told that my being a woman is eternal and divine. Fear of disappointing my family and friends or confusing them/ruining our relationships. Messing with the status quo at almost 28 years old. Not being taken seriously. I probably should see a gender therapist.
I just really needed to get that all out. If anyone has any advice or ideas or maybe even just validation, I would really appreciate it.
This post still gets attention now, so spoiler alert! Definitely trans! I have been on T for around a year and three months. Feeling good with who I am and who I am becoming. Its still a journey but I not denying who I am anymore. I still have a lot to work on and process but I am continuing to meet with my therapist who did help me quite a bit on my journey. I am out to everyone in my life and its been going well. Lost some people but luckily not anyone that was terribly important to me. I am very lucky and blessed for the people around me and the experiences I get to have. I am excited to continue my transition journey! Got my name legally changed and have top surgery scheduled for June!
Been a long time since I have posted anything. Life has been incredibly busy. I hit a year on T back in November. I got some facial hair growing. Mostly a goatee which is not my fav so hopefully that will continue to grow in and look better as time goes on. I know it hasnt actually been that long so I am glad it is there at all. I have top surgery scheduled for June 26th which is crazy and I am so ready to not have boobs anymore. I got my name legally changed and have it updated on my documents. All in all I am pretty happy with how things are going regarding my transition. I do sometimes wish things would go faster but trying to remember that its a process and honesty I have had some pretty good effects already in the year and three months that I have been on T. I have continued to be blessed with people who support me in my transition. Unfortunately the world we live in still sucks so bad and I hate living in America but I am trying to continue to work toward bettering myself in my transition so yeah. Grateful for how my transition is going in this miserable time to be alive.
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
I am once again feeling seriously bummed about the fact that I don't have a penis. I want a penis so bad. I am too poor for phallo and I can't take that much time off work anyway. I wish I could just magically have a dick!
Oh well I guess. Maybe one day I will be able afford surgery and finally have a penis.
My Top Surgery Consultation is scheduled for August 15th!!! That's like 3 months and 1 week away. I have no idea when the surgery is going to be obviously but I have a date to find out the rest of the answers and get scheduled for surgery. Part of me is scared about doing the surgery. The other part of me is really excited! I can't wait to get my boobs removed. And I cannot express how happy I will be when I don't have to wear bras anymore. I can't believe that it is in three months!
I wish I had a suit. I don't know how it would look ok my body right now since I still have what people call a "womanly figure" but I highly doubt that is going to change any time soon and I just want to get a suit any way. I don't know I will though. I get nervous with some of this stuff.
Oh hey, I can actually help with this. Perks of being a trans girl I guess?
My word of advice is to get a suit that is properly fitted (learn to measure yourself and give two finger widths worth of room to your measurements), or go to an actual suit store and get fitted there.
If you have prominent hips and chest that you want to hide, it would be a good idea going for a tailored or regular cut. Regular suits (sometimes called "Classic") are made a bit more roomy and 'box' shaped, that don't conform to your figure, giving a more "square" shape that looks masculine.
Tailored fit are a mix of regular and slim - meaning they're a bit more fitted than a regular suit, but don't cling to you like a slim fit would, and thus hides your curves a bit better.
If you have a big chest/binding doesn't really work all that well, this also works with shirts. Shirts come in a variety of cuts, and you want either a relaxed fit or regular (or 'straight') fit. This will give you some room between the shirt and your chest, allowing you to get a more flat and masculine look.
Also, overcoats will make you look a lot more masc and hide curves well too. They square off your shoulders and make your hips look smaller by comparison, and thus giving you an even more square and masculine look!
Thank you so much for this! I will definitely look into it! I am working on getting over my nerves about going to actually get fitted and other fun social aspects that come from being trans in this society. I am definitely looking forward to using this advice hopefully soon!
I wish I had a suit. I don't know how it would look on my body right now since I still have what people call a "womanly figure" but I highly doubt that is going to change any time soon and I just want to get a suit any way. I don't know I will though. I get nervous with some of this stuff.
So I have been on testosterone for over four months now and sometimes I random think about how crazy it is that I am actually out as trans and doing stuff to actually line up with my identity and being myself. It just is so crazy and I never would have thought I would be doing this or even admitting this to myself and now I am 4 months into this. My voice is getting lower and I am getting hairy. Like I have been wishing the process would go faster, but like I am just glad it is happening at all. I know that the world is going to shit, especially as a trans person, but I am still going to exist as me as a big F you to all those who don't want me to exist. I am doing it and I am finding joy in it. Forget everyone else!
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
Y'all testosterone is making me super horny and I have no one to help me out with this and I think I am going to lose my mind.
Got my results back for my Testosterone Levels today and they're at 811, which seems crazy to me that it's that high already. Also my roommate and another one of my coworkers noticed that my voice sounds lower now. My roommate also noticed my facial hair growth. I feel like the chin hair is starting to look gross though so I am going to trim the longer hairs.
Had my follow up appointment at pride clinic. My testosterone got bumped up and I am getting referred for top surgery! My doctor also said that voice sounded lower than it did previously! I am hoping that with the increased dose I will see even more changes as I contine to go on! Feeling pretty good right now.
Y'all one of my coworkers just asked me if I was on hormones today because she noticed a change in my voice and noticed some facial hair. It's so crazy to me that it was noticable to someone else. She told me that she is happy for me. Wild times here!
I think it's really rude and unfair that I don't get to have a penis. I like using my packer and having the bulge there, but I want a real penis. It's not fair.
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
So I haven't worn my packer in quite a while because I had someone coming over to my apartment and I didn't want to put it where I normally do because it felt like an awkward conversation if she saw it. The problem was I then forgot where I put it and couldn't find it for a second. But today I was just thinking about how much I missed wearing it. So I got home and searched for it. I put it on as soon as I found it. It feels so nice to wear it again. And man do I want a real penis. One that I don't have to take off and is actually attached to me. I want one so bad.
Only a month and a half on T so far and I am getting some serious chin hairs and a tiny stache. I know it's still early on, but it would be nice if I could grow a beard fast because I am impatient. But I also am curious to see how fast it will grow without help from something like minoxidil, so I am holding out for now. I don't think we voice has changed at all yet, which is not surprising. I kind of hope it starts soon though. I want to have a lower voice. Also I had a dream the other day that I had gotten top surgery and had a flat chest and it was a bummer to wake up and find them still very present. I gotta look into getting that set up, though I am not sure if I will even be able to afford it. I know that transition is a process, but man it would be nice to just be on the other side already.
