Signs from being younger that probably are signs of being trans:
Making a sock penis and wearing it in my room. Never admitting it, but wanting a penis.
Fantasizing that I was turned into a boy and choosing to stay that way.
Taking quizzes that claim to "guess your gender" and wanting to have the results say I was a boy.
This one makes me laugh, but pretending to be a boy when I would play on Club Penguin.
Really liking how I looked in our jazz band uniform which includes a men's dress shirt, dress pants, a tie, and a vest.
Signs in adulthood and right now that probably are signs of me being trans:
Buying a packer and really enjoying wearing it in public.
Loving the bulge my packer gives me and wanting to look at it all day long/wear it everyday.
Buying a binder and being frustrated that it didn't make me completely flat because I have a large chest. Kind of liking how it looked anyway when I was able to get over that and see that it did make my chest smaller.
Still fantasizing of being turned into a man and choosing to stay that way.
Going by he/him pronouns on here.
Changing my pronouns on Facebook to see it say "changed HIS profile picture" and seeing that I was listed as "brother" and "son" on my siblings and parents pages. (Changed it back out of fear of getting caught).
Changing my gender on Facebook to Male even though it's hidden.
Picturing myself in the future presenting as male with short hair, a beard, and having gotten top surgery.
AND YET I am still struggling with believing I am actually trans or that I should move forward with transitioning. There is so much that goes into this. Internalized transphobia. Inability to let go of my religion even if I don't necessarily believe because it's what I have known my whole life and all my friends are there. Religious trauma and being told that my being a woman is eternal and divine. Fear of disappointing my family and friends or confusing them/ruining our relationships. Messing with the status quo at almost 28 years old. Not being taken seriously. I probably should see a gender therapist.
I just really needed to get that all out. If anyone has any advice or ideas or maybe even just validation, I would really appreciate it.