here we go again

going over to my minimalist girlfriend’s house and she apologizes profusely for the mess and there’s just a single perfect, fresh pea on the floor of her living room

Blue Lois

can i help you

Red Marge

jesus christ. I Am Under Fucking Attack

extremely good trope: injured character sees their own blood on someone else who's otherwise unscathed and gives a concerned "are you hurt?" double points if they're so injured they're barely lucid

Now obviously the hard part of launching a land invasion of Heaven will figuring out where they hid the hole. Finding the miniscule aperture, the hole in physical reality to which all souls are translocated at the moment of death, and then jamming something sturdy in there, getting it in reallll good and working it around until it's big enough to fit some guys with guns through. But the nice part is that the nature of Heaven means that, one, not many people get in in the first place, and two, none of them are good at fighting, because people who're good at fighting mostly don't go to heaven. Except us, when we find the hole. The point is that once we're in there's not much they're gonna be able to do. Pretty much we'll have free run of the place

Update! So we forgot about God

it used to be 2007 you know

All the adults should put in the tags how old they were in 2007

I kinda love when I take a picture of something beautiful and it looks like shit because it humbles me and reminds me to stay off my phone

it’s actually very easy to live a life free of social media if you don’t consider tumblr a form of social media. which i don’t. #freedom #technologicallyfree #offline #amish