hello this is the shitty restaurant

i wish there was an animal that could see radio waves so I could transmit that i love them and every one on earth would know it

i would randomly broadcast the growling of their natural predator so theyre freaked the fuck out all the time

who the fuck are you

still thinking about that time i was at the airport and the spinny machine tagged my cock with a hitbox & i walked right up to the tsa guy with drunk conviction and before he could say anything i was like "ready to touch my penis boy?" and he got so defensive and scared but either way he still had to get down on his knees in front of me to— oh god and the nervous gulp he exhibited

he was HORNY

he was not, i was sexually harassing him bad

Remember that xkcd about how Google searches are shit now? What if we made them even worse for no reason?

I will vote for any candidate who promises to go scorched fucking earth on every tech company. Break every single one of them up into companies based around a single product and then split those in thirds. Weaponize existing antitrust laws to the hilt and pass the most draconian versions of them ever seen on this planet. Nationalize google search specifically. Pass consumer privacy protections strict enough to kill the data harvesting industry for good. Make all of these fuckers go bankrupt for this rent-seeking shit

seeing straight men be disgusted by booktok smut recommenders has actually radicalized me to the side of booktok smut recommenders. girls your taste may be atrocious but i will never disparage you for exposing mainstream discourse to the concept of soaking through your underwear. spent my whole life listening to men talk about penises it’s about time they get jumpscared by women talking about pussy in crude detail on social media. go forth and goon my warriors