rant as I tell you guys about my family's weird rules! Totally normal house rules! :D
1) You must not eat in front of mom unless she cooks for you (!!) and you must eat more than her. Ignoring this rule will make her refuse to eat in anyone's line of sight (or like, starve ig)
2) You must not address how both her and brother (B) eat toddler sizes when they feel like they failed at something and you must not say it looks like an eating disorder
3) actually, you must not point out concern at anything unless it's towards me or you are in the middle of a fight (fair weapon clause)
4) You must not mention Mom's weight, health, lack of sleep, compulsive buying, ocasional reckless driving (while we are in the car and she fights my brother), work, few friends, skin, physical ability, beauty, stains on her shirt, hair, latest thing she claims to have given up on doing for our sake (concerts, travel, time to herself, sleep, freedom) or ABoVE all •do not mention whatever she has done while angry• (this will make her angry again)
5) you must not mention any faults or choices made by Mom with Dad (low consequence, he'll just either defend her / "SHE TRIED!" or tell you to just move on). Also don't mention smoking/+ your asthma.
6) Nobody shall speak why my door was literally kicked down (mom), why the TV had to be replaced (brother)
7) We are all equal under this house and of course if someone disgrees with you on a topic, that is a breech in the equality (somehow) and you'll be accused of thinking you are "too good for this family". Often paired with weapon 3: "Oh so I'm such a terrible person in your eyes, aren't I?"
8) Do not mention any similarities between Mom and Brother. Like literally not even compliments (a fight started over saying they both like similar sweets)
9) You must not record, type or write down anything Mom says or you are directly attacking her. Excuses such as "I know you'll deny saying this but it's fucked up you are saying I can't buy underwear without you seeing me trying it on; it is fucked and weird, Mom wtf" are NOT valid and will lead to your mom breaking your charger and your Dad supervising as you delete it before he got you a new one.
10) Yes it's your fault they spend money on you. No you shall not address how it was literally their choice to take you to a private school.
11) You must not stay in your room for more than three hours in a row (why do you hate us?)
12) There is a 50/50 chance of a fight starting if any two of us (minus Dad-Me or Dad-Mom combinations) are in a room together for more than 10 minutes.
12 - Part B) The risk increases if either wants to talk. ~A wants to talk and B doesn't~ will result in fight if a is mom or brother (or sometimes father, but in the sense of him opening his mouth too much when brother wants quiet) or b is mother or me.
13) Expressing signs of stress (going quiet, stopping what you were doing, trying to leave, literally jumping if they suddenly say something) because of anyone approaches you (OR option B which is just that you reacted oddly because you have sensory issues) means you are any of the following: paranoid, jumpy, hateful, stupid, childish, the r slur, dramatic.
14) To avoid a fight means to admit you were wrong here. However, to respond to fight bait (why don't you have a job? / I thought you were an adult but I guess not / It's funny how you weren't autistic before! / You hate me / Why did you eat so many yogurts of X flavor you are so selfish / You are weird for liking your girlfriend (pdf accusation even though she is 18) / You gained weight?! Why did you let that happen? / You only like Dan and Phil because they are gay ewww obsessed weirdo / Why did you get a job in that? Too hard!?) will make anyone else look at you and say "you shouldn't fight with him / her"
15) comments will be whispered where you can only barely hear them, specially after fights. No topics are sacred.
16) You must not force me to talk when i tell you can't take it atm, suggest I don't care about people (/my grandma/ dog) or insult something I love under the risk I'll be just as bad, defensive and passive agressive as them. Topics such as implying I decided to be depressed/ anxious/ autistic are likely to enrage me and then make me leave the room and house for a few hours.
17) Nobody should mention a previous fight
---- 17 part B) Exception clause in that Brother may bring up previous issues seemingly at random. This is not fights, this is points that started past fights. Brother may take a stance HE DOESNT BELIEVE IN purely because he wants a fight (literally going against his own team, saying you want grandma to die, that you are a hateful vegan (i eat meat too?)) and then bring them back when he runs out of fight on the current topic. The reason is unknown. (this is all within the fair weapons for him clause). This is badly seen by all members, regardless of previous fight allegiance.
18) Nobody apologizes ever (and if I try, it must mean that I take back everything everything and they were right in every point)
19) All outing family activities together will invariably end up with a designated BOMB ONE(tm) the rest are trying to delay the explosion of (car ride homes are mandatorily screamed or venomously silent).
20) Only Me shall go to therapy because obviously a little past depression / signs of ed were all that ever is or ever will be wrong with any of us. We are normal. None of us consider it abusive.
------- 20 part B) Despite it being normal (see above), any mentions of any "bad" examples of real events to anyone who isn't my therapist will result in extreme infighting. We must not let the outsiders know. To do so is to get threatened with getting kicked out (this feature started at age 14 for children, 5 years into the marriage for the adults)
