yahoo-dot-cum

fuck you if you don’t wanna “do the mario”

One of the most heartwarming things I’ve ever heard a dog trainer say “A pushy pet who makes small demands and communicates their needs to you is a safe pet. It means they trust you and aren’t afraid of your reaction if they misbehave and push your buttons a little”

you know those old ‘hentai free’ banners? that’s this blog but with harry potter

I just had sex with hello neighbor.

Yesterday, I was at dinner with some friends and briefly forgot Harrison Ford’s name, but I was like, “His name is a president and a car,” which is how we got such acceptable alternatives as McKinley Camry, Van Buren Gremlin, Clinton Infinity, and Range Rover Cleveland.

Lincoln Lincoln

it's cool how in the 6 years since this tweet was written it's become significantly less useful not because anything has gotten better but because the majority of products on Amazon are now from fly-by-night brands called "ZZPORK" and "GLUM4PANT"

need a hat that says I WONT SPEAK UNLESS SPOKEN TO AND ITS NOT BECAUSE IM DISINTERESTED AND DONT LIKE YOU I JUST DONT UNDERSTAND SOCIAL INTERACTION AS WELL AS MOST PEOPLE AND ASSUME BY DEFAULT MY PRESENCE IS UNWELCOME AS A PRECAUTIONARY MEASURE SO I KEEP TO MYSELF BUT I DONT MIND IF YOU INITIATE so i can wear it to work

water sports should be for adults too.me and the blokes at university should be allowed to shoot eachother with water guns

How do I make Google understand that when I searched for "Goth girl names" I meant that like Amalfreda and Radagonda and not like Enoby Darkness

@xrozario-sanguinemx

He looked just like Fritigern of the Thervingii (and if yuo don't know who that is, get da fuck out of here!!!)

I went to twink island and you wouldn't guess who was there

can you give me the coordinates

She's ghostin you but shes goblin me