'Til Y'all Are One

haha [following] you are reblogging my post

oh shit let me guess. let me guess. you're anthony fantano being sucked into a jet engine. yeah. yeah, just like the last four fucking rounds. yeah i don't really wanna play charades with you anymore

asked one of my coworkers how she's doing today and she goes "could be better, could be worse," and another coworker nearby who was eavesdropping chimes in with "could be a lil bit o' alligator curse!" i have no idea what he meant by that but i do know that it has been immediately added to the lexicon.

Dead wife but it's a flashback to an amazing sandwich you had 3 years ago

This is huge. Sharing for my US friendos.

Hospitals like to hide these policies under a lot of successive links in obscure places, so if you don't see anything right away, keep looking! Get friends to help! Make it a scavenger hunt. A game where you're assassins sent to slit capitalism's throat

For m US friends! I hope this helps many of you. Medical care should not bankrupt you - ever!

Computer show me the "big one"

a dot matrix printer slowly but surely starts producing a crude representation of a largemouth bass

They dumped plastic skeletons in environmentally protected areas, against the literal contracts they had to sign to get the permits to film in environmentally protected areas. Like they not only did a bad ecological thing that freaked out some divers, they literally broke environmental protection laws and their contract with the Italian government

jake and logan paul will die by each other's hand outside the city walls of westlake ohio like eteocles and polynices outside the walls of thebes

i like when they pay celebrities to rep mobile game ads and i get to see the interior of their tasteless expensive house in the background while they bark like a dog for candy crush

when I finally get rich and famous I'm gonna make some sort of fiction project and write a character that's just an extremely thinly veiled self insert so I can take notes on their legions of fans psychoanalysing them and crowd source the explanations for all my problems. I'll also make a few anonymous fan accounts to start discourse by posting "uhhh it's actually really disrespectful to imply that this character is a self insert, that's delegitimizing queer women's creative abilities..." and then use some other sock puppets to link this post and say "they literally said they were gonna do this verbatim"

nobody numa numas like they used to

(wistfully) mai-ia-hee... mai-ia- hoo....