Will the owner of the green amoeba please come to the parking lot? Your amoeba is being towed 🦠

Plus, what an absolute baller move to announce your regnal name as William the Last.

the Final Bill

#William the Last smacks of Douglas Adams

I love how this old thing never fails to be reblogged by folks on Halloween KJHDKAJSD

I don't know whether any of you guys have looked outside lately but it's leaves as hell out there

2015? that wasnt even that long ago. it was only... [doing the math] ohhh. ohhh..... oh dear...

still fuming mad about that one reddit post that was like “halloween adults are just as bad as Disney adults” I just want to give people candy and wear costumes and tell scary stories, not fund the atrocities committed by a $200 billion dollar nightmare corporation. like, don’t get me wrong, a lot of consumerism gets tangled up with Halloween but at its core it is a fairly accessible and fun holiday and it prioritizes creativity and spirit over material goods, unlike modern Christmas.

Phan is real. My Chemical Romance got back together. These are things middle school me literally thought were impossible. Never kill yourself

exposed as a fraud with mama

ID: A multicoloured bear beanie baby held up in front of a glowing ferris wheel at night. /end ID.

Also - you outlaw something, you pave the way for clever criminals to trick and scam and abuse naive people into it.

For the love of God, sound on.

@vensre

Sometimes “Sound on” is a disappointment. This is not one of those times

transcript: [in thick New England accent] “Holy fucking shit; MA! MA, COME OUTSIDE, THERE’S A FUCKING MOOSE! OR A BUFFALO OR SOME SHIT; THEY’RE FIGHTIN’! Where the fuck are you goin’?! MA!! Hoooly shit; this is some fuckin’ National Geographic shit. MA, CALL THE FUCKIN’ COPS OR THE ASPCA; THERE’S ANIMALS FIGHTIN’ IN THE FRONT LAWN!! OOOOOH SHIT!!”