𐙚 ilyazcrucifix ✞​

tuna meltdown au where shane freaks out at the first name calling but instead of running away gets held by ilya so tightly that he can’t squirm out and shane is like let me go you asshole!! and ilya is like no 😡 so they end up in this weirdly erotic slippery kerfuffle of wrestling and bitchslapping but ilya keeps squeezing shane so closely and violently that they end up just fucking about it on the couch

ilya in ottawa about to change his bedsheets and he realizes for the first time that the pillow smells like shane even though it’s almost been a week since he was last here and he can’t help but smile because he loves all the evidence of shane being a part of his life. the extra toothbrush, the sweatpants shane deliberately left in the drawer, the ginger ale in his fridge and now his scent

Pondering the non-sexual intimacies of their sexual encounters during the hook-up years. Ilya gets a charlie horse type cramp in the back of his thigh while fucking Shane and being like "ugh gimme a second, fuck" and Shane being like "I can help" because he loves bodies and physicality and knows how to deal with physical issues that impede performance and Ilya is like "Is just a cramp Hollander" but Shane still helps him straighten his leg and stretch out his hamstrings and it's like this moment of accidental intimacy because Ilya is on his back with a leg in the air, balanced on Shane's shoulder while Shane grips him with those big hands—one behind his knee and the other behind his calf, pushing Ilya's leg towards his body. And Ilya moans because it hurts, and feels great, and their cocks are still out and Shane looks so good, and also Shane is so endearing with his concentrating face, Ilya can't help but be like "Thank you Dr. Hollander" and Shane is like "Shut the fuck up, that's last time I help you" and Ilya is like "What else can Dr. Hollander do?" and then Shane climbs on top and rides him until Ilya is all out of chirps.

they’re chilling in the living room at their home in ottawa, each lying on a couch. ilya is making noise with his mouth “pspspspsps” and shane already annoyed asks “what the fuck are you doing?” and ilya replies “calling you, that’s how you call kitttens” and shane throws a pillow at him.

Ilya wearing a pair of lace panties. Shane pulling them to the side and riding Ilya, loving how the lace feels rubbing against his skin.

From the makers of Ilya Hannibal (Me) we bring you Shane Dexter and it's Yuna who teaches him how to kill. 🙂

I love the idea of shanes guilty pleasure being like cheesy romcoms and teen girl tv shows. like we already know when harry met sally is one of his top favorite movies. myshane is watching dawsons creek, gossip girl, vampire diaries. any show like that he can get his hands on. his movie night picks would put the wags to shame. and post cottage ilya would relentlessly tease him for it when he first found out but crucially be just as into them as shane

shane and ilya watch how to lose a guy in ten days and ilya says “I’m surprised she did not lose him as soon as she said his first name” and shane tackles him into the couch