shit

The red lines divide the picture into thirds. They also mostly coincide with the doorway (and Cruz’s right hand), framing him nicely as the Main Character of this picture.

The green line was placed using the golden ratio (the ratio between parts of the picture above it and below it is close enough to 1:1.618). It also goes right under his chin (and through some reporters’ hands or tools).

The purple lines are diagonals that are framing the reporters really nicely.

I’m pretty sure you could also do something clever with a circle and the yellow doorway behind him, but I don’t have the patience to fiddle with that.

Trump and the former President of Mexico acting like bitchy high school girls on social media. 

It’s like The West Wing meets Mean Girls.

my girlfriend left her shoes in the middle of the living room floor, so I hid them in the oven drawer. because I thought it was a drawer that you could like–store things in?? I don’t know, I somehow made it to this point in my life without knowing that the fire happens in there. then I forgot I’d done it, and like, two days went by.

so the next time we went to make dinner, the shoes caught on fire.

then the oven caught on fire

then our whole house was full of black smoke

then the NYC firefighters had to come out to our apartment. there were like six of them.

half the people in our building came out of their apartments to find out what was going on, and if they were going to die or if they needed to evacuate their cats or something

and then an actual, New-York’s-finest firefighter looked me wearily in the eyes and said “try not to keep shoes in your oven” as he left.

and now we need a new oven.

and I would say that I felt…mild embarrassment? I experienced a patina of chagrin. “whoops,” I thought to myself, as the firefighters tromped off and the firetruck drove off into the night. “I should probably have known that about oven drawers.” then I bought my girlfriend a new pair of shoes, since I’d burned her old shoes. then we ordered a pizza.

THAT’S THE FUCKING BROILER