(a)musings

i am not moved by much, even though i  laugh through my tears and i no longer jump at my own shadow or fear an empty bed or letting down my parents

i have long since lost the desire path we made with  our shared tred into the woods but i wander now through slow afternoons and solo bar tabs

i am not sure anymore of the names of your childhood friends the way you schedule your days or your grocery lists but i  i have hours of sweet quiet and sweat fever dreams out alone  i float on my back, eyes shut in spite of what swims beneath and made an uneasy peace

i keep running the race, towards a blind finish, reaching between elevator doors closing,  unsure of it all these days but earning myself back