Hey handsome. I'm gonna miss you.
this hurts
PUT YOUR BEARD IN MY MOUTH
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Hey handsome. I'm gonna miss you.
this hurts

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This morning a woman in the waiting room of my ortho doc leaned over and told me that I wasn't neurodivergent -- I'm just possessed by demons.
Uh, what?
She seemed very concerned.
I was there for my bad knee, so I asked her if demons caused that too. She told me I was making fun of her and it was very rude.
I got up and went to stand over by the window, and I got called in right after that.
I still haven't figured out how she knew I'm neurodivergent in the first place. Maybe it's the tail and horns?
Not going to see "Super Girl". Not because of David Krumholz, or any of the misogynist vomit that he's been heaving out. He's not much of a character in the movie anyway. I sort of wish it was over that.
I'm not making the effort to watch a female-led superhero movie either, because I don't have the energy left over for performative movie watching.
I just can't manage any interest in Super -Man, -Girl, -Boy, -Dog, -any mammal I may have forgotten. Same goes for Batman, the Flash, WW, etc, etc.
DC heroes just never have interested me much at all, even when Henry Cavill was involved.
Started watching Heated Rivalry again. I'm not sure why I stopped the first time, except that the first episode is sort of an awkward combination of porn and fan fiction. Moderately graphic sex punctuated by quick story beats in rapid succession.
I'm not a prude; I've written harder core smut than anything on screen this episode, but this was kind of... unsatisfying? There wasn't any emotional reaction to any of the sex at all. I'm fine with hookups in my fiction; I just hope that there's more to it than that down the line.
And, no, I don't know if there is, because I've spent ZERO time in the fandom or tracking stuff down online. The series may be emotionally grueling or just a series of hot sex scenes. I don't know. I guess we'll have to see.
Mostly I think it would be fun to be able to stop skipping the Hollanov tags on tumblr. Also, there's apparently a rumor that this was adapted from a Stucky fanfic; I'm completely fine with Stucky, but it would explain a few things about how the story flows so far.
I liked it, but... it's kind of weird? Although I'm here for that accent.
Anyway, that was the first episode.
I should have loved Game of Thrones. Even I recognize that. I was a huge fantasy/swords and sorcery/dragons, etc kind of fan. My legal middle name came from Tolkien. I was in the SCA. I should've been a huge fan of ASOIAF.
I never got more than a couple of chapters into the first book, and a couple of episodes of the show. I followed the whole thing somewhat unwillingly because the internet lost its mind over GoT. My main feeds always had something breathless every week about the previous episode, or the actors, or whatever GRRM was doing. Tumblr itself was overflowing with gif sets for every single significant thing that happened. So, yeah. I've seen Olenna confess to murdering Joffrey, Tyrion actually murder his shitty father, Cersei's shaming, and so on.
My partner is currently watching GoT for the first time. He's puzzled about why I'm not doing it with him.
Aside from the fact that I still remember major plot points from a show I never watched, I was game. I'm not someone who cares about spoilers. It had been a hugely influential show, etc, etc. Why not?
Imagine my surprise. It's boring and I don't care about any of the characters. GIF sets were 100% the way for me to watch this show the first time. I don't have any patience for it now either.
Which will always puzzle me. This show should have always been my jam.

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So I lost my healthcare, and after months of careful rationing, I'm completely out of my psychiatric meds. Zero. Zilch. End of the fucking line.
For the first time in years, I have nothing between me and my mental illnesses. (I have the crazy person funpack: OCD, Anxiety, and Depression.) By some people's estimation, this is the REAL me, without anything masking me.
And, hey, guess what? The REAL me is really fucking angry, all the time. Maybe it's the times we live in, the proliferation of brain-dead bigots, the pious bullying, or the sheer idiocy being arrogantly hyped as genius, or maybe it's just me. I'm not sure I care.
I just got notified that I'm eligible for Covered California's insurance, so this little window of open rage is likely to be closed again soonish (maaaaybe), but it's an interesting little peek behind the curtain of medications.
Also, I have night terrors again, so that's delightful. There's none of the social anxiety I remember, but the depression is certainly there, as is the OCD. I'm definitely going back on my drugs when I get them. In the meantime, it'll be interesting to see what else comes out.
Am I a kleptomaniac? Raging sociopath? Narcissist? Agoraphobe? We may or may not find out as things finish working their way out of my system. Whee!
https://www.etsy.com/listing/4401248353/pacific-rim-raleigh-becket-charlie?ls=s&ga_order=most_relevant&ga_search_type=all&ga_view_type=gallery&ga_search_query=pacific+rim+collectibles&cns=1&content_source=dfac96ea-2790-4f64-98b4-85134da62fcd%253ALT8e54a7cc93e3a45be4a6c51f382ed67a5bd69a2a&logging_key=dfac96ea-2790-4f64-98b4-85134da62fcd%3ALT8e54a7cc93e3a45be4a6c51f382ed67a5bd69a2a
āāLife is a shipwreck, but we must not forget to sing in the lifeboats.ā ā Voltaire
I don't usually have to block people on Tumblr, but the small flood of anti-Muslim "they want to mandate Sharia law in the US@ omg!!" bullshit posts this weekend almost tripled my block list.
If you're going to weep hysterically about how Sharia law is coming to Norfolk or Nebraska, you can fuck all the way off. Just say that you're a ragebaiting Islamophobe and be done with it.
By Western standards, Sharia law absolutely sucks, and I agree with that. It's a relic of theocratic rule which won't seem to fucking die, and it serves very little if any purpose beyond keeping the worst people in power.
It also is not coming to the US or Britain or Canada or Germany or any other Western country. Most Muslims don't even live under it. No matter how many Muslim immigrants arrive, no place in Europe or America is suddenly going to flip over to Sharia law. Stop using it as an excuse to complain about how foreigners are flooding your country.
"I'll never submit to Sharia law!!!1!!" Well, no shit, you brave little bigot. You never will.
what doesn't kill you makes you stay on tumblr for 13 years and counting

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watching the documentary on the OceanGate Titan disaster and it's striking how Stockton Rush wanted to emulate Elon Musk and in many ways he did, identifying weight as the core constraint of submarine operations (lifting and hauling the sub around as being the primary expense) and basing the entire concept around making it as light as possible, but then he overrode every engineer who told him in explicit terms that it was going to pancake, and it pancaked.
also quite reminiscent of Richard Branson's space experiments, which did at least have Burt Rutan as a designer, but the same breed of dickhead CEO at the head.
goddamn the Titan had acoustic monitoring sensors and you can literally hear the carbon fiber in the hull cracking louder and louder as they descend on test dives, but the CEO was angry that they were even bothering to monitor it and refused to accept that it was dangerous, and he wasn't just risking other people, he was on the damn thing himself! he was just that deep in denial and unwilling to accept reality.
DISCLAIMER: intense yap session from someone PUTTING THINGS INTO LAYMENāS TERMS to make it easier for everyone to understand šāāļø
As someone whoās Obsessedā¢ļø with this tragically yet sadly predictable story, weād like to take a moment and yap about how crazy insane the Real Time Acoustic Monitoring System for Carbon Fiber for a DEEP SEA PRESSURE VEHICLE is.
First of all. The fact that Stockton Rush decided to make a DEEP SEA PRESSURE VESSEL out of carbon fiber, a material that is famous for its tensile (pulling) strength NOT pressure (push). Pressure. Which is very much in the DEEP SEA. Where the VEHICLE is going (if we remember correctly, the pressure in the ocean increases by 10 atmospheres of pressure- ie 1 atmosphere of pressure being what the atmospheric pressure is at sea level -for every 10 meters you descend. Space, on the other hand, is between 1 and 0 atmospheres of pressure). The ocean wants to squish you into biological paste so, so, so, so, so very badly.
Everyone and their mother are telling Stockton Rush that using carbon fiber is a Shitass Bad Idea. Not only does logically it make no sense to use (again, good with PULLING not BEING PUSHED, which is what pressure is) but it just hasnāt been tested the way other materials, such as titanium, have been. We know what the failure point of titanium is. We know when Catastrophic Failure happens in titanium. We know how many cycles of fatigue/stress titanium can withstand before Catastrophic Failure happens. When know how titanium behaves Before That Happens.
Carbon fiber?? We donāt know those things about carbon fiber, when it comes to DEEP SEA PRESSURE FATIGUE/STRESS. Itās a material used for PULLING not PUSHING. So it hasnāt even been tested for DEEP SEA PRESSURE. Because itās not meant for deep sea pressure. And weāre about to show you how very Not meant for DEEP SEA PRESSURE that carbon fiber is.
Hereās a generic chat that gives you an idea of what we mean when we say Titanium Is Predictable. This chart isnāt about titanium specifically, but we can pretend it is. You can look at the colors and understand what the chart is telling you. We can see the curve and whatās a Warning and whatās Bad. The red is Bad. You donāt want to be in the red. The curve of the chart shows that you have time to predict the red before it goes to red.
Hereās an actual chart of titanium under stress, along with a steel and aluminum. Ough wow!! Look at those curves!! You donāt have to know exactly what youāre looking at to see and understand that the curves happen before the lines āflatlineā. Thereās a predictability before the lines of the chart āgo flatā. This means you can understand the integrity of the titanium youāre using, and whether or not itās safe to use, whether it can be worked on, or if it needs to be retired altogether.
Now letās look at carbon fiber.
Thereās no curve. Carbon fibers works, until suddenly it doesnāt. Thereās no prediction for catastrophic failure- it just happens.
AND STOCKTON RUSH IS USING THIS MATERIAL IN AN APPLICATION IT SPECIFICALLY DOESNT WORK WITH (pushing- NOT pulling).
Well. The thing about Stockton Rush is that heās going to Do What He Wants. So heās going to build his vessel out of expired carbon fiber. Because itās cheaper to transport and manufacture (remember, he planned on having a whole fleet of these things). He wanted to spend as little money as possible while making back as much profit as possible.
And Stockton Rush, with his background in aviation (imagine. for a moment. if a NASCAR driver decided to make a commercial airplane, and only used his knowledge of racing cars to do it. because thatās essentially whatās happening here) decided to use a Real Time Acoustic Monitoring System. Because carbon fiber is made up is a bunch of threads of carbon ābraidedā (for lack of better term) together, when the UNPREDICTABLE- WE ALL SEE THAT CHART. WHERES THE CURVE RUSH- catastrophic failure happens, the threads āsnapā apart as they break. So his thinking process is, the Real Time Acoustic Monitoring System would be able to āpredictā when the carbon fiber was going to fail catastrophically.
For shits and giggles, hereās applications acoustic monitoring systems are used for:
Please note that DEEP SEA PRESSURE VEHICLES are not on there. Damn near the rest of this IS in planes, however.
And. Cāmon. COME ON!!!!! LOOK at that chart!!!! Does it look like predicting the catastrophic failure of the carbon fiber is even going to matter?!? WHEN YOURE AT THE BOTTOM OF THE GOD DAMNED OCEAN?!? Catastrophic failure at the depths the Titanic is at means IMPLOSION. The Real Time Monitoring System is a fart in the wind. Itās Safety Theater (<- you will hear that a LOT when you watch documentaries and the investigation).
Except.
⨠EXCEPT āØ
It actually fucking worked.
The Real Time Monitoring System actually DID work and actually DID predict the catastrophic failure of the carbon fiber before the catastrophic failure even happened.
And this is HUGE.
This is GROUND BREAKING.
This is the INNOVATION that Stockton Rush has had a hard on for since day one.
Except theyāre loosing money. And as OP said, Stockton Rush was upset that the carbon fiber had the audacity to snap, crackle and pop at all.
He was so mad in fact that, as we found out during the US Coast Guardsā investigation, Stockton specifically had the graphs plotted for each dive in such a way so that the RTMSā alert to the carbon fiberās lack of structural integrity wasnāt readily obvious (instead of the graph showing the curves of stress fatigue, they were plotted to show depth with time).
Anyways. The fact that his crack pipe idea of using an acoustic monitoring system to predict a famously unpredictable material in an application itās very much NOT used for and it actually WORKED is phenomenal. Unfortunately, Stockton Rush didnāt set out to find a way to make carbon fiber a viable material for deep sea pressure vessels, he set out to be ābig swinging dickā like Elon Musk and Jeff Bezos. So he didnāt care, and how heās dead because of his own hubris.
@voidofteeth our Boat Explodey buddy š„«š„
thank you for writing this in old school tumblr ābuckle up fuckos and learn you a thingā diction, it is indeed incredible that the man invented a clever warning system that accurately told him his idea sucked and then ignored it, scroll of truth style
big fan of whatever the youth is doing to torment scientology buildings
they couldnt take the heat

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Dolgiye Mountains, Russia by Arseny Kashkarov
friend asked me yday if pacrim felt like an awkward ex bc of the current project hail mary hyperfixation. NO pacific rim is my beautiful wife who ive been in a consensual open marriage with for 13 happy years. yes i see other movies semi-casually but she has the ring and she always will š©āā¤ļøāšāšØ (<- me n her)