tossing the presidential salad

i have a friend who owns a couple dispensaries and yesterday we were at the bar and he threw me a baggie of some weed which i appreciate but it smells insane and my purse reeks now and let me tell you smelling like weed is like top 10 most embarrassing things you can be

tell me why i went to a bra shop last night and they measured me for the first time in god knows when and they dont carry my size in store because im a HH!!!!!!!!!! that size is not real i am sorry

ive been dating my current boyfriend for close to 4 years. tell me why i still get misty eyed when i remember my ex used to never let me open a door

yall i am crying but im at a fancy hotel bar with my bf where celebrities stay in my town, and my bf looks so similar to dave grohl we get comments constantly. well the bartenders daughters friend came in the bartender said its dave so my bf signed a napkin and took a photo lord we’re going to hell