Fickle Matter

12.31.22 - 23:33

A lost boy

Trying to find his way to Neverland

Where every smiles and gestures

Are loving and nothing but grand.

Ehem,

Where icecream and candy canes

Fill the hearts of everyone

And not a single drop of soursop sadness

Can inanimately be found.

-

But he likes the taste of sourness sometimes

And fills his mind

With the overewhelming.

The thoughts of perfect and dilation,

And guilt.

For everyone to be smiling and happy

And that of,

no disappointments.

-

The domino wobbles,

His balance slowely drifts

To the right,

And then...

To the left,

And finally toppling down

A rabbithole of what-ifs

As if

It ever matters what comes after

-

This year,

He ends it with this feeling,

A dash of hope

That for tomorrow

Or the day after

He still breathes some sort of

Happiness

From all the chaos...

I am frightened of what I am

The clossest thing to a bomb

It is within me, trapped, ticking

It may take a spark and a wick

With your love to blow the fire

May it be too late? Or may it be dormant?

Waiting for another step or shake?

Who knows when it will explode

I am frightened to see the outcome

Yet the chaos it will consume

May we ever find happiness again?

With all of these scrap metal

Embedded in the warmth of the wombs

-K.B. Wulfriek

The planes of existence is rumbling

Yet the heart yearns to be free

I could only imagine

What is yet to come

As days grow dark and weary

What a cliche it has always been

Yet I have come to crossroads

Where every direction maybe grim

The only path to light is you

Yet the illusion is flickering beyond

Can i no longer hope to be happy?

Or let the chaos endulge and come?

K.B. Wulfriek

The days were lovely

When monotonous eyes

Sparkled dazzling stars

With the moonlit smiles

Unbelievable thumps in chests

And butterflies coming out of the mouth

Your song so beautifully sung

On sands of white

Dimley lit with the twilight sky...

Those days so perfect

Now in a snowglobe

Of our minds...

In case of an emergency,

Break glass...

Your eyes despise the so-called lies

And power of the ones that protect you.

You do not accept that we are cooped up,

In a henhouse that has everything.

Despite all the thing you have,

You realize,

You were never just a hen

But an eagle that wants to be free.

But there is always that possibility,

You might be gunned down

By hungry hunters...

And until then you'll keep in mind

What your keeper would say to you,

That your life was meaningful.

For death will bring sadness and mysery

And perhaps disease to the people,

That wanted to protect you...

Your heart is strong,

But what do you really love?

Is it not the kisses?

Is it not the comfort of another's toes at night

And perhaps the dandelion poetry

She brings you during the day?

Perhaps the companionship?

The intimate manifestation of the heart?

The vulnerable soul you spiral

Your wholesomeness and integrity into?

Yes you may have the most invinsible,

Indestructable heart a human being

Could ever have....

But there will always be a weakness...

You just cannot grasp

Nor understand what it is.

No,

Not yet my friend...

-K.B. Wulfriek

I know

It's for my own good

That you may no feed this wanting

The need to be loved

To feel loved or even the feeling of warmth

I know that it'll come when you feel it

When you feel like doing it

When you have it with you

Because I know you do have plenty...

And you know I have none

And by that feeding the wanting

Will strike an addiction

And ever cruel intention that I may

Feast upon that love and create something

Disastrous and terrible as a weapon...

Here me out,

I am not that one you once loved

I am different like other people are

That encompasses my wholebeing

I know it's hard to believe

But from the bottom of my heart

I know this

To be very sadly true...

Unless you want to let go and start again...

All that was said and done

All the nights we shared looking up

The vast spaces filled with stars

Falling lights in sync with our hearts

All the leaves that glided in the wind

Where we laid and told our stories

All the long drives and stop signs

And the license plates we've counted

All the "love yous" and "night nights"

That stumbled out of our lips,

Memories I will never forget...

I wish them all again

Like the first time we met...

-K.B. Wulfriek

She teaches me control

My demons to be kept in

On some unholy leash

Never to be awakened

Nor touched by impurity

She revels it inside me

Becoming one with the inner

Yet it means no harm

For it just wants to love

Like no other, at the very least

What it thinks love

Really is…

She possesses the heart

By squeezing it tightly

With her soft cold hands

Only to be released when she

Ultimately chooses to

You see,

She does not need to keep it

on some tight golden chain

Nor bear it a cruel name or such

For she has control over it

The tips of her frosty fingers

Freely does what she does 

Like a puppet on burning strings…

I don't really mind it

Not at all, I guess…

-K.B. Wulfriek

The heart is fondue

Sweet as ever

Yet dark like a river

At night waiting

For the flash to kick in

You may not know

When it will be

But when it does

It is as strong

As any current

You may think

You know...

"How Lovely"

01.02.30

Those eyes

Are most precious

Like autumns kiss

Mirrors of your soul

With a light bliss

Peck upon my cheek

My heart flashes

Rapidly upon yours

Like an everstone ruby

My mind is weary

But my heart is pure

To you my love

For one glance

Of those eyes

Sends me to heaven

Up and above…

-K.B. Wulfriek

I get so happy

Waiting in the cold

For your smile to return

And I wait

And wait

And wait

And wait...

Yet you forget...

That I was outside

All along,

Sometimes I wish

I was a dog...

01.31.20

Thank you

For being my safe haven

When everything does not

Make anymore sense to me

Thank you

For being in my mind

When hope seems lost

And I dream other-worldly

Thank you

For being in my thoughts

When I am sad with sorrow

And upset with anything

Thank you

Even when you are not here

You manage to make me sane

A safe bubbled world you bring...

Sunlight through windows

Peering skies of gray

Frowned eyebrows in the clouds

And mind already astray

I miss the butterflies

That ran out of my mouth

As she laid down on my stomach

Now that her grief is mystery

I no longer could tell her paintings

The meaning of the strokes

Behind them

The sorrow or happiness

She may or may not emit

Through those jolting hands

And rainbow smile...

-K.B. Wulfriek

My head is blank

For now like ships

On beds of corals

By ocean floors

The mind is open

For you once more

To have served a purpose

Of candid love...

I may have been a fool

Once or twice it seems

But who is not certain

Of what one is?

Unless he or she is perfect

Yet no one can be

For all have flaws

And cursed are the genes,

I am blank

Like water even so

It may be clear

There is always something minute...

So could I say my mind is clear

But it never is

And that is what

I someday fear...

K.B. Wulfriek

I could lose you anytime

But if that would make you happy

Then let it be...

I promised not to bring a leash

Yet I make shifted a rope

Which burns even more,

I promised not to tug

But the floor was slippery

And I fell and pulled a little too hard,

I promised not to yell

Yet the signs were coming

And it was all just a false alarm...

Now I am at the door

Apologizing and looking like a fool

For all the things I've done

With this curse of mine...

If I truly love you

I would be ready to let you go

If that would make you happy,

Then let it be...

My love...

-K.B. Wulfriek

The shallow mooring

Aching sighs

Willowed garden

Of the half surprised

Do you even hear the pain

That shrieks into the silence?

Or perhaps it's all just a game

In this cursed existence

Find the way to lose you

Yet I seek you forever in a loop

Can I ever hardly love correctly?

When all I see is nothing

All I feel is hurt

No balance

Only demise...

Then happiness once more...