a severe thunderstorm warning that doesnt follow through is worse than orgasm denial

those posts complaining about greasy hair arent exaggerating btw, it really makes you feel like everything in your life is going wrong and falling apart. and then you shower and it turns into a normal tuesday

camera shutters kind of sound like taking a bite of a crisp apple because a camera takes a bite of the light in the air

so cool how advanced the algorithm has become, it literally only takes like a decade or more of spying on all my internet activity and then it can expertly curate a selection of 15-20 youtube videos that i don't really want to watch, and then keep showing me those videos over and over again for a week so i can scroll past them again. the future is now

I’m jerking a cum tribute to all tha victims of car crashes

yaoi is NOT REAL and men DO NOT EXIST

Victor Frankenstein after achieving the impossible and building a fucking person from scraps of the dead: Oh god, ew, ew it's ugly! Yucky! Yucky! Gross! Ew! Ew! Yucky! Yucky! Gross! Ew!

Glassblowers and hat makers are so funny bc they're so obviously insanely skilled in these difficult crafts and 9 times out of 10 they're using that skill to make the tackiest shit you've ever seen

and a foul memory springs forth unbidden

mommy needs an ibuprofen kitten