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Powerful anti-procrastination spell

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The live-TV interpreter who said "Sag mal, wie lange wollt ihr bei dem ScheiΓ bleiben?!" has made a statement. I admire him hugely for not apologizing for what he said, or even technically retracting it, at any point in this statement. Instead, he takes the opportunity to make a jab at Trump's inability to put a reasonable sentence together:
Jetzt reagiert auch Dolmetscher Frank Deja, der fΓΌr den Fauxpas gesorgt hatte. "Ich war ΓΌberzeugt, ich hΓ€tte mich stumm geschaltet. Ich habe aber im Eifer des Gefechts die falsche Taste gedrΓΌckt. Wir haben als Dolmetscher sogenannte RΓ€usper-Tasten, mit denen wir uns stummschalten kΓΆnnen. Dann geht das eben nicht ΓΌber den Sender β und meine Aussage sollte natΓΌrlich auch nicht ΓΌber den Sender gehen", erklΓ€rt er "n-tv". Seinen Zwischenruf solle man nicht als politisches Statement deuten. "Nein, das wΓ€re ganz verfehlt. Die politischen Inhalte sind nicht das Problem", meint Deja und fΓΌgt hinzu: "Ich dolmetsche stΓ€ndig Leute, mit deren politischen Inhalten ich nicht einverstanden bin. Das Problem bei Trump war, dass er auf einmal anfing, frei zu assoziieren oder dreimal hintereinander dasselbe zu sagen. Diesen wirren GedankensprΓΌngen zu folgen, ist die Schwierigkeit beim Dolmetschen." Er erklΓ€rt: "Wenn ein Redner mit geordneten Gedanken redet, dann kann man, sobald der Satz angefangen hat, schon ungefΓ€hr erahnen, wie es weitergeht. Man kann auf dieser Welle weiter surfen. Aber bei Trump ist das unmΓΆglich."
(source)
I didn't think I'd have the energy to make a translation, but what the heck, I guess I will.
Background for the non-Germans: a German professional interpreter was live-interpreting the TV broadcast of the Trump inauguration when he suddenly broke off in the middle of his interpreting and said loudly, "Tell me, how long do we have to watch this shit?!"
Of course they immediately cut his mic after that, but it was too late :D
Anyway here's my rough translation of the article excerpt above:
Interpreter Frank Deja, who committed this faux pas, has now made a statement. "I could have sworn I'd muted myself. However, in the heat of the moment, it appears I pressed the wrong button. We interpreters have what's known as a 'cough cut' button on the interpreter console, which we can use to briefly mute ourselves. Then, whatever we say next doesn't get broadcasted β and obviously that sentence wasn't supposed to be broadcasted," he explained to n-tv. His exclamation is not intended to be understood as a political statement. "No, that's not it at all. The political content is not the problem," says Deja, adding, "I often interpret for people whose politics I don't agree with. The problem with Trump was that he suddenly started free-associating or saying the same thing three times in a row. Following these incoherent mental leaps is quite a challenge for an interpreter." He explains: "When a speaker presents their thoughts in an organized way, the interpreter can more or less guess where each new sentence is going as soon as it's begun. You can surf that wave. But with Trump, this is impossible."
The absolute contempt for these locks is palpable.
Man who hates the very concept of life and all living beings: I should design portal websites for colleges and job applications
tuesday status?
yup. its tuesday π
copy. tuesday confirmed β engaging tuesday protocol

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Fun fact: due to the ongoing financial support from the people of tumblr, critically endangered pygmy raccoons being rehabbed in Cozumel are now able to get vaccines for deadly diseases like distemper and rabies before they are released.
The funniest and most enduring legacy of dashcon.
To contribute to the critically endangered pygmy raccoon fund, you can donate:
On the website
On Venmo
On PayPal (make a note that this is a donation for pygmy raccoon conservation)
i haven''t listened to 'take me to church' a lot over the years bc it was played so often in its initial popularity and i love other songs on the album so much more so it rarely makes it onto any of my playlists. but now i finally have a cassette player again and i'm listening to my tapes again ofc i just listen to albums straight through. and i'm like oh yeah. this song is incredible. like this song really is worth every bit of fame & acclaim. this song launched his mainstream popularity for a reason.
A little something for Linguistics Tumblr.
So the Crunchyroll newsroom isn't a "room" so much as a Slack channel. We have news writers all over the US, in Australia, and in Japan. This means we have something akin to 'round-the-clock coverage, but it also means that our schedules respective to each other are skewed. For example, when the East Coast contingent is starting their day, the Japan contingent is shutting down for the evening.
Because of that, we started experimenting with greetings that could apply when Party A was coming in for the morning and Party B was leaving for the night. One person came up with "konbarning": a combination of "good morning" and "konban wa" ("good evening" in Japanese). It stuck.
Over the following months, "konbarning" got shortened to "barning" and other permutations. Now, a year or some later, this is how we announce our arrival:
Getting pinned to the wall by a beautiful girl named centrifugal force
Gettin the good ads again

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Mark Rothko, Four Darks in Red, 1958
happy one year anniversary to the time i was in vermont in a dorm with a carbon monoxide leak and jacked off to this painting
not me
a thing about me is i basically never notice a wig or other kind of hairpiece in tv/movies. it has to be party city territory for me to even twig it. people will complain about characters' wigs looking bad and i will nod along but there is like a 90% chance i did not notice for a second while watching. i consider this mostly a blessing.
Lady in drive through had a bearded dragon sitting on her boobs and she held it up and let me pet it. killing myself canceled
art is not my strong suit but this is my best recreation of what i saw when i opened the window. i have to emphasize that she was supermodel levels of gorgeous

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guardian of the forest
my dead wife. the ad free internet