heck

There is much to say but I will keep it to a minimum. If you know me, I tend to ramble. If you know me even deeper, you know I’m pretty sentimental. Bear with me. 

2020 was quite the feat. It was a year of feeling. Fierce feeling, both negative and positive. It was a year of lessons, of trials that we are still in the midst of. A year of gratitude, of heartache, of maturity. 

There was a cacophony of beauty and tragedy. Many of us came together and many of us drifted apart. I find my farewell faint because, well, I can’t really believe it’s over. 

There is much growth for me to continue to embrace. I have realized that where I am now, I am not satisfied. That is not a bad thing, and I look ahead with the determination of a mountain. I also look ahead with the lesson of fragility. Nothing is set in stone, I should be kind not only to myself but to the world. It takes one step at time to get somewhere. 

I am not going anywhere on this blog. There were moments when I was frustrated with myself for not putting anything out on here. Voices of self doubt swarming, telling me that no one likes it when you’re not doing what people expect of you. A wise man named Cory Kenshin actually opened my eyes in his last video of 2020. He said something along the lines of, it’s okay to take breaks. Breaks are for calibrating and recuperating, for nurturing our spirits. As long as there’s forward progress, then be forgiving of yourself. 

I’ve been moving from stepping stone to stepping stone, and I can say I am breathing deeply in without any pain and struggle. 

In 2020, I lost pieces of myself but I gained many more. That’s the way life is, huh?

I am incredibly thankful for the little moments, for the times I’ve spent with those most precious to me. I reconnected with my old love, books. I cherished my lover’s smile whenever he graced me with it and realized that when I struggle with myself, there are those will remind me of who I am. 

Well, I know I can continue on but I’m sure most won’t enjoy that. Just know that in the midst of despair, there are tiny buds blooming in the shadows. We must never forget that. 

Much love to you all.

“And when I was shipwrecked 

I thought of you 

In the cracks of light 

I dreamed of you 

It was real enough 

To get me through

I swear

You were there.”

Thank you so much for your ask! Honestly, I can't even wrap my mind over being someone's favorite blog. I'm not even my own favorite blog half the time Haha. I hope I can continue to make you happy with my content. Thank you for being patient and waiting on my response! Not only do I forget to answer asks sometimes, I also get overwhelmed with this particular question because so many people deserve recognition. But alas, I'll keep it to a minimum.

I'm always going to shout out my friends @wtf-taeyong and @evangelene because their writing is otherworldly. They're so down-to-earth, friendly, lovely people. When I go to their blogs, I feel nothing short of warmth.

Now I haven't read any fics in such a long while, but based on my memory I can name some nct blogs that blow me away. I apologize for not being more specific.

There's @stormae who is just wow. She weaves words like she created language herself. There's @taeyongtime who also just blows my mind with their concepts and ideas. And lastly, @starlightkun can paint pictures that last in my mind forever. Cherry Cola? Yeah, still think of it every time I drink it.

I hope that you find works by these incredible authors that amaze you like they amaze me.

Word count - 29.7+ (madness)

Genre - angst, fluff, smut

Warnings - Brief descriptions of violence. I think that’s all.

Fantasy!au, Historic!au

@stormae Thank you for all that you are and all that you do. Thank you for giving me my passion back and cheering for me across the planet. You mean so much to me.

Sometimes, when the time of the year was right and it was the correct hour in the evening, the sun would rest between the twin peaks of the mountain range your village lay under as if they were only there to hold the sun up in all its fading majesty. Your village and all the land surrounding it was dusted in the most glorious golden light, erasing all signs of difficulty and struggle, and caressing all with the final tendrils of warmth before the mountains encased the sun, and it was hidden from view until the morn broke.

The land you were treading, however, did not get this honour, and dusk soon arrived without the familiar sight of liquid splendour bathing everything in light. You missed the burning presence of the star so far in the sky, but you knew that you would see it again soon enough.

To the author, thank you so much for creating and sharing this. This is something I will treasure and I’ll always be greatful to read such beautiful story as this. And it’s even my ultimate bias’! You’re truly a genius, somebody please give you an official publishing company!