fanfiction and short stories

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Each of the sides makes up a part of Thomas’s gender. Every so often, even the prince deals with the pain of dysphoria.

Trigger warning: dysphoria, crying, feeling trapped

Roman flinched slightly when Thomas said his name. When Thomas said he when he said princey. That wasn’t right. It was too masculine, and today the nonbinary part of Roman, the part of him that was agender, was not appreciative of anything related to the masculine part. “Roman. My name is Roman,” the creative aspect said. Virgil looked at him sideways, and Roman could tell the anxious bean knew what was wrong. Roman knew Virgil usually was like this, it was why he wore a hoodie. Roman, unfortunately, couldn’t exactly go change in the middle of a video.

Thomas gave Roman a curious look before he continued, but it wasn’t long before the video was over. To Roman it felt like ages. He sank into his room faster than he ever had before. Everyone noticed. Roman was summoned back to the living room before he had a chance to change.

“What’s wrong?” Thomas asked.

“Why would something be wrong, Thomas?” Roman asked. “I’m your Creativity, you romance, your prince, your knight in shining armor. Why do you think that something is wrong?”

“Because one, you stuttered. Two, you looked very uncomfortable during the video. Three, I know you Princey. I am you.” Roman flinched.”What’s wrong?”

Roman sighed. “I..... you are one person. You have one gender. We’re all only a part of you so... we only have a part of a gender...”

“You guys are all demiboys? Like Talyn?” Thomas looked confused. Roman nodded, not meeting his host’s eyes. They had all agreed that Thomas wouldn’t know about this. Logan would be furious. “So you.... are you dysphoric or something?” Roman nodded again. “And me calling you Princey made it worse...? That’s why you told me your name.”

“Yes...” Roman sighed. “You wouldn’t expect a demiboy who can have any body he chooses to be dysphoric, heheh...” Roman rubbed the back of his neck, embarrassed. “I’m sorry...”

“You don’t have to be sorry, Roman. If anyone owes an apology it’s me. I assumed that you were just a boy, and so I didn’t think using masculine coded words would be much of an issue. I should have asked, not assumed. That was my fault. I’m sorry.”

Roman nodded. “Can- can I go now..?” He tried to blink back the tears that welled in his eyes, but he knew Thomas saw them. He felt infinitely bad as the invisible force that had tethered him in the living room let go, and he sank down to his room. As soon as he shut the door, he started sobbing. His body shook as he grabbed the black and purple hoodie he knew could only belong to Virgil from the bed. He assumed the anxious side had been in while he was trapped with Thomas. He pulled on the thick hoodie, curling into a ball. He managed to change the fabric of the mindscape, at least for his room. He changed himself to look like Talyn. That came with a different dysphoria, but it was easier to cope with than his normal.

General taglist: @teacupfulofstarshine @hopelessly-distressed @izzynuggets @diamondrush862 @pendragonqueen09 @ravenpuffblogs @tis-i-bat-anon

Sanders sides taglist: @darkle-elkrad @indecisive-asexual-space-dork

Fanders fics tags: @fandersfic-virgil @fandersfic-roman

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Word count: 673

So there’s one line where you can read it as being about Deceit, but in reality, it could be about any character you choose. There’s no names, no interactions with anyone else, nothing. This entire story takes place with Dee alone in his bedroom.

This is part of my pride drabble series, it’s for bigender

I sighed as I look in the mirror. My body didn’t fit. And yet it did. I hated my chest, but it also felt right when I saw it. My hips, my shoulders, my face, all of me. Perfectly right but oh so very wrong. Part of me wondered if this was dysphoria, but only trans people could get gender dysphoria, I thought? I didn’t know what to do anymore, this... feeling was driving me insane. This sense that i was in the wrong body, but also that it was just right. This sense that everything about me was completely right and completely wrong. I couldn’t take it anymore. I yanked a blanket from my bed, throwing it over the reflective glass, hiding the reflection that was me but wasnt me from view.

I curled up in my bed, pulling my sheets up over my chin so I could pretend I just didn’t exist. I could pretend I was right, without being vwrong. I already felt alienated enough from my classmates because of the scars on half my face. It didn’t help that I felt like I couldn’t use the bathroom and felt all eyes on me in the locker room, simply because my body wasn’t right. “Girl” some people said, but that was wrong. Or was it? I was always happy when someone thought I was a boy, but I also squirmed at the thought of being just a boy. It wasn’t right. It wasn’t me.

I’m not a girl, I told myself. I'm not a boy. Both felt like a lie. I tried to curl up tighter into a ball, but then I could feel my body pressing against itself and I could tell what was and wasn’t there. I felt wrong.

I instinctively stretched my body out, so that I was laying flat. I held my phone above my face, opening tumblr. I went to the only place I thought I could say something, ask for help. When I typed in the URL, part of me wanted to run screaming. That part was scared. Scared that I was the only one like this, scared that I was broken.

I typed my fears into the box, trying to keep I marked the ask as anonymous and hit send. As soon as I did, I regretted it. What if they thought I was an idiot? What if I became the laughingstock of tumblr? Of the whole internet? I wished there was a way to delete an ask after I already sent it. At least I sent it on anon? Right?

I tried to sleep. I really did. But I just couldn’t. I laid awake staring at the ceiling until my alarm went off. The first thing I normally did was get up, get dressed in anything that would hide my body, and drink a protein shake. But today? All I could do was grab my phone and scroll though tumblr. I scrolled though the memes and pictures from various musicals. Then I saw something that made me freeze.

‘I’m not a girl. I’m not a boy. But I am. I don’t know anymore. I just want to know. I don’t want to be broken.’ It was my ask. ‘Hey anon, first I want you to know that you’re not broken. There’s lots of words that mean your gender is both boy and girl. The most commonly known one is bigender, but if that’s not right, you could be ambigender, epicene, or several others. Regardless, you don’t have to be binary gendered to be real or valid or whole. Your gender is what you say it is, and no one can tell you that you’re broken because of it. <3<3<3’ I nearly started crying when I read it. Both boy and girl. Not one or the other, but both. That... that made perfect sense. Sort of. It fit me. And it meant I wasn’t broken. I could be bigender. I could be both. I didn’t have to be boy or girl.

General taglist: @hopelessly-distressed @teacupfulofstarshine @izzynuggets @diamondrush862 @pendragonqueen09 @ravenpuffblogs @tis-i-bat-anon

Sanders sides taglist: @darkle-elkrad @indecisive-asexual-space-dork

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This one took me 25 minutes to write and I cried while editing because of how soft it is. It will melt your heart

Word count: 541

I laid my head on his lap as he ran his fingers through my hair. He said it helped his anxiety, gave him something to do with his hands other than scratching his skin or picking at the carpet fibers. It felt good, I will admit. And it made it easier to see when I leaned over my desk. So I let him do it, anytime he needed. “Hey Lo?” his tentative voice spoke. There was a quiver in his tone, but I knew better than to turn around. He would tell me when he wanted me to, and I was okay to give him the respect of not forcing eye contact.

“Yes Virgil?” I asked, looking straight ahead at the black baseboards and grey carpet.

“You’re n-not gonna leave me, r-right?” I knew the look on his face, even if I couldn’t see it. It was a look of fear and anxiety. He’d worn it for three weeks, ever since I told him I was bisexual.

“Never,” I shook my head.

“B-but... you like girls... I-I can’t... I’m not that. I can’t give you that.”

“You’re right. You can’t. But no one else can give me what you do. Sure, other guys can let me use them as a pillow, and a lot of girls know how to braid hair, but Virgil... Lovely you have something they don’t. You have a kindness I’ve not seen in anyone else. You have a happiness that infects everything it touches. You have a hope that I need. You are you, and no one else can do you as well as you can. “You’re the person who I can go to when I need a hug, or just someone to sit next to. You’re the person who I can trust. And Virgil, you’re the only person I let myself show emotions around. You’re the only person I feel safe enough to feel around. You make me free. No one else can.”

“B-but... I’m me...”

“Yes Virgil,” I sat up and turned around, sensing his need to see me say it, not just hear it. “And I love you. Guys, girls, nonbinary people, none of them are you. Hypothetically, if I were single and I liked a girl, I would ask her out, yes. But even when I was single, I didn’t ask her out. I asked you out. Because I like you, Virgil. So even though I like girls too, I choose you. And that’s all that matters.” Virgil nodded, looking down. I lifted Virgil’s hand and held his left ring finger under his eyes. “And this, Virgil? I said until death do us part. I said forever. And I fully intend to keep that promise, Virgil. I love you.”

My husband’s cheeks were wet with tears when he finally looked up at my eyes. I said it again. I love you. Over and over, until he hugged me as tightly as he could. “I love you too Logan,” he said. And he smiled. I couldn’t see his smile, he was hiding his face in my chest. But I could hear it. I could picture it in my mind. After all, I was the lucky guy who got to see it every single day.

General taglist: @hopelessly-distressed @teacupfulofstarshine @izzynuggets @diamondrush862 @pendragonqueen09 @ravenpuffblogs @tis-i-bat-anon

Sanders sides taglist: @darkle-elkrad @indecisive-asexual-space-dork

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June 3 prompt, in which I write a soulmate au and almost forget I’m writing drabbles not long one shots!

Word count: 689

Roman looked down at his wrist. Vi, in white lettering. Every morning when he woke up, it was white again. He supposed that was a good thing, since every morning he would take his pink, yellow, and blue pens and shade in the twisted curls of the letters. This was his way of fighting against his parents. They saw the name Vi on his wrist and cooed over “Oh she has such a pretty name, I can’t wait until you meet her!” While Roman had nothing against dating a girl, or even having a girl as his soulmate, he didn’t want everyone to automatically assume that Vi was a girl. Vi wasn’t listed on any baby name websites as a girls’ name, it was listed as a nickname. But your soulmark was never your soulmate’s nickname, always their name. Something within Roman told him that this mysteriously elegant Vi was not a girl. So every morning he colored their name in the colors of the pansexual flag. His flag.

He was told that when you meet your soulmate, their name turns red. He didn’t know if he believed that. His parents’ soulmarks weren’t red, they were black. He didn’t want a black soulmark. At school, kids would all color their soulmarks. Dan, the trans boy who had a locker next to Roman’s, colored the name on his wrist “Phil” with pink, purple, and blue. Talyn, Roman’s cousin, always colored the name Joan with the nonbinary colors. He knew that their soulmark was already red, and Talyn hadn’t met anyone named Joan. That’s part of why Roman didn’t believe that his soulmark would turn red.

As he walked down the hall, he noticed his friend Patton. Patton always colored his name, David, in rainbow. He had been adopted when he was a baby. His parents had seen the name David and immediately gave him up for adoption. They hadn’t been able to handle the thought of having a gay son. Thankfully for Patton, he’d been adopted by Remy and Emile Picani, the couple who ran the LGBT+ coffee shop across the street from the school. Speaking of... Roman could use a cup of coffee or two before his final today. He quickly pulled on some white jeans and a red sweatshirt and was out the front door in less than five minutes. He didn’t usually come in during the day, only ever after school.

Remy was at the counter, making someone’s cappuccino. “Vi?” the caffeine addicted coffee shop owner called. Roman looked up immediately as a thin person wearing black jeans and a black and purple hoodie went up to the counter. Roman didn’t realize he was staring, or that he was walking toward the other, until he suddenly bumped into them.

“Oh my gosh I’m so sorry, I wasn’t paying attention to wear I was going. I-” Roman tried to say that he would buy them a new coffee to replace the one he’d spilled on them, until he noticed them wipe the coffee off their wrist. And their soulmark, the name Roman written in a handwriting the actor knew all too well, turned red before his very eyes. He looked down at his own wrist, only to see the pansexual flag fade into red. Vi’s eyes widened. Roman was the first to speak. “You’re them.” he looked Vi in the eyes. “You’re Vi.” And with that, Vi ran out. Roman hurried to the counter. “How often do they come in?” he asked. Remy gave him a look, so Roman held up his red soulmark.

“Vi comes in every morning before school, Fae always orders a caramel cappuccino with an extra shot of espresso. Fae’s homeschooled, and does faer school here sometimes. Vi doesn’t much like strangers, but maybe if you hang around the place when fae does, you won’t be a stranger anymore.”

Roman nodded. He would be here every morning before school. “Can I get a job?” he asked, deciding that would be his excuse for being here more often.

Remy laughed and nodded. “Sure kid, but only until that soulmark turns black. Until they love you.”

General taglist: @hopelessly-distressed @teacupfulofstarshine @izzynuggets @diamondrush862 @pendragonqueen09 @ravenpuffblogs @tis-i-bat-anon

Sanders sides taglist: @darkle-elkrad @indecisive-asexual-space-dork

Read it on ao3!

This drabble is for June 2, so it’s a little bit late, but is still here for pride!

Word count: 455

Patton rolled over, coming face to face with his boyfriend. “Morning Virgil,” he giggled. Patton pecked a small kiss to his nose. “Glad to see you made it home safe,” Virgil had to work the night shift at the diner last night, and hadn’t gotten off until after Patton was asleep. Virgil smiled softly with a small yawn. “You want some breakfast?” Patton sat up. “I can make some pancakes.”

Virgil nodded eagerly. “I adore your pancakes, Pat. Almost as much as I adore you.” Virgil poked his boyfriend’s nose. Patton giggled as he went into the kitchen to make breakfast. He came back with a tray full of multicolored pancakes. On Virgil’s plate were several rainbow colored pancakes, and Patton had one with black, grey, white, and purple stripes. Virgil practically melted when he tasted his. “Mmmm Pat, these are great.”

“Guess you could say I...aced it!” Patton held up his asexual flag pancake in front of his face.

Virgil laughed. “Want to watch a movie?” he reached around Patton to grab the remote.

“Disney?” Patton practically bounced up and down as Virgil nodded.

When Cinderella started, and Snow White had ended, Patton had finished his pancakes and was practically curled up in Virgil’s arms. “I don’t know how but you always manage to make the day better just by hugging me,” Virgil smiled, kissing Patton’s nose.

“It’s a piece of cake,” Patton grinned. “All I have to do is be myself and you get all giggly!”

Virgil’s feigned a look of offense. “I do not get giggly! I don’t giggle!”

“Let’s ace-ess the situation. If I do this,” Patton poked Virgil’s nose. “And then I do this,” He gave a huge grin that usually only children could pull off. Virgil grinned. “And then I do this,” Patton started tickling Virgil’s sides, the place he knew his boyfriend was ticklish. Virgil burst into a fit of giggles and shrieks. “There, now I’ve proven you wrong. Giggly Vee,” he grinned. “I love you Virgil.”

“I love you too,” the taller of the two practically squeaked as his face turned bright red. Patton giggled and snuggled into Virgil’s side again.

“What do you want to do the rest of today, Giggly Vee?”

Virgil shrugged. “We could go for a walk around the lake?” Patton nodded and kissed Virgil’s cheek before crawling out of bed to get dressed. He pulled on the black and purple patchwork jacket Virgil had made for himself. “Hey Virge?”

“Yeah love?” Virgil looked over.

“It looks like you’ve got an ace up your sleeve.” within moments both of them were laughing from Patton’s puns, the happiness they had with each other, and the fact that they were both tickling each other.

General taglist: @hopelessly-distressed @teacupfulofstarshine @izzynuggets @diamondrush862 @pendragonqueen09 @ravenpuffblogs @tis-i-bat-anon

Sanders sides taglist: @darkle-elkrad @indecisive-asexual-space-dork

Read it on ao3!

This was supposed to be posted on June 1 but I’m slow when it comes to writing, so enjoy the demisexual fluff drabble I wrote

Word count: 457

Roman Knight’s day was just like any other. He woke up, got dressed, brushed his teeth, and he was off to school. The biggest difference in today was that tonight was prom. The red and gold streamers lined the hall, and balloons filled the gym. He didn’t have to go to class, because he’d volunteered to lead the prom committee. That was all that was different though. Everything else was the same. After school, he would go home and do homework, then go to bed at some point.

“Roman, have you finished the arrangements for refreshments?” Logan Parrel asked, looking up from his clipboard and checklist.

“Yes, just finished. Everything will be ready on time, just breathe.”

“Not everything,” Logan gave Roman a pointed look. The brunette sighed.

“Logan I don’t need to go home early to get ready because I'm not going. I’ve told you that. I don’t even have a date.”

“Who says you need a date for prom? You can go with me, as friends.”

“And let everyone think I’m gay? Logan, I face enough hell from people thinking I'm gay because I'm a drama kid and head of the prom committee. Why would I want to give them more ammo by coming to prom with a guy.”

“Okay well first off, there’s nothing wrong with being gay-”

“I didn’t say there was. But I'm not gay, so I don’t want people to think I am.”

“If you’re not gay then explain the many many many jokes you make about not being straight?” Logan raised an eyebrow.

“You do know there’s sexualities other than gay or straight, right?” Roman asked with a laugh. “I’m demisexual, so therefore not straight. But also not gay.”

Logan chuckled and shook his head. “I never thought I’d see the day.”

“What day?”

“The day you finally come out. I’ve known you weren’t straight since third grade when Mary Lou kissed you under the basketball goal and you screamed and ran away.” Logan smiled. Roman’s face turned every shade of pink.

“I-I didn’t know what a kiss was! I thought she was trying to eat me!”

Logan laughed. “Fine, if you don’t want to go to prom, then how about you at least let me buy you dinner?”

Roman shrugged. “So long as I can pick the place.”

“Alright, what’s your pick?”

“McDonald’s”

“Roman that is the least romantic place in existence,” Logan laughed.

“Exactly,” The grin on Roman’s face was contagious. Although perhaps the reason Patton and Virgil were laughing on the other side of the room was because Logan had just been shot down when he asked out the guy he’d had a crush on his whole life. Or at the very least since the third grade.

General taglist: @hopelessly-distressed @teacupfulofstarshine @izzynuggets @diamondrush862 @pendragonqueen09 @ravenpuffblogs @tis-i-bat-anon

Sanders sides taglist: @darkle-elkrad @indecisive-asexual-space-dork

Read it on ao3!

Warnings: sympathetic deceit, depression

Genre: hurt comfort

Parings: patceit

Patton is having a bad day and doesn’t know why. Deceit on the other hand? Deceit knows.

Words: 737

Patton laid on his bed face down. He hadn’t gone out to make breakfast that morning. He was supposed to. He was the one who always made breakfast. Today was pancake day, none of the others knew how to make pancakes. He was letting them all down. He just... he couldn’t bring himself to get up. He didn’t know why he felt like this. There was no reason for it. He couldn’t explain why he cried himself to sleep last night. He had no reason for why he woke up feeling empty. He was usually good at hiding it. If he felt bad, he could hide it with a smile and a few jokes. No one ever knew any differently.

“Well hello there Morality,” a taunting voice drawled from the corner. “Contemplating lying, are we? That’s not very moral,” Deceit leaned against the light blue wall. His yellow-green scales seemed out of place amongst the hundreds of stuffed animals.

“N-no...” Patton mumbled.

Deceit clucked his tongue like a disappointed mother, “Now now Patton, I thought you said lying is bad, why ever would you lie? Especially to me?”

Patton didn’t look up. He bit back tears, knowing Deceit was right. He mumbled an apology, burying his face in his pillow. Now not only had he upset Virgil, Roman, and Logan by not making breakfast, he’d upset Deceit by lying. He was the worst side. Thomas didn’t need him, the others could do his job fine-

“Stop,” Deceit said, his voice stern, but concerned. “Stop lying to him.” Patton didn’t know who he was talking to. They were the only two in the room. Deceit only grew more alarmed as whatever he had told to leave clearly had stayed. Patton’s tears fell harder. Soon, his pillow was wet and he was shaking, unable to control his pain. He hated crying, it meant he couldn’t take care of the others. He was the dad, he was supposed to take care of them. He couldn’t just abandon them. That’s what he was doing-

“I said stop,” Deceit hissed. Patton looked up, confused and worried. Deceit’s forked tongue flicked in and out of his mouth as he glared at the space beside Patton. The moral trait turned, only to see empty air and the wall behind his bed.

“Dee there’s no one here..?” Patton furrowed his brow. Deceit pulled the mirror off the closet door and held it sideways.

“Look. In the mirror. At that spot.”

Patton did as he was told, and tried not to scream. Lurking at the foot of his bed was what appeared to be him, but wrapped in a black smoke, with solid black eyes.

“Wh-What.... D-Dee who is that...?”

“That is your Dark Side. Depression.” Deceit was still glaring at the demonic figure.

“Oh now really Deceit, you needn’t call names. We all know you’re still bitter.” The air crackled as the disembodied voice spoke. It was one Patton had only heard in his thoughts before. He shrieked and scrambled to Deceit, cowering behind the snake-like side.

“I’ve accepted my fate. You would do well to accept yours. An outcast. Hated. Not wanted. There is no purpose to your existence.”

“Describing yourself now, are you?”

Deceit hissed. “Get out.”

With a dark, malevolent chuckle the Dark Side faded from view. “I’ll be back~”

Patton trembled as Deceit set down the mirror. He hoped That Depression would stay gone. He didn’t register that Deceit was hugging him until he heard the side murmur reassuringly in his ear. Patton looked at him, embarrassed. “I-I.... I’m sorry...”

Deceit shook his head. “Nothing to be sorry for my love,” he hadn’t realized he said it, the words slipped out without him thinking. Patton though, Patton did notice.

“Love?” Suddenly Deceit’s face turned red, his scales included. His eyes widened.

“I Uh- Uh...”

Patton shook his head with a smile. “It’s okay Dee,” he laid his head on Deceit’s shoulder. “I love you too.” He’d been scared to admit it, so he’d always pushed the other away. But saying it, and knowing Dee felt the same? It felt like someone had relit the fire in his heart, and he burned with happiness.

Deceit smiled softly and pushed a lock of hair out of Patton’s face. “Good?”

Patton nodded, smiling as Dee began to gently sway to a silent melody. “Good,” he said quietly. And for once, he truly meant it.

This is a gift for @ravenpuffblogs

Taglist:

General: @hopelessly-distressed @teacupfulofstarshine @izzyfandoms @diamondrush862 @pendragonqueen09 @tis-i-bat-anon

Sanders sides: you’re all on the General I don’t think you want tagged again

Invisible Memories

Disney High

I Can Be Better

@darkturnedlight

Coming Soon