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I think it would be fun if the Spy x Family revelation went something like:
Yor: "Actually, the job at city hall is just a cover, my other job is being an assassin."
Twilight, showing Error404 above his head: "Wait, you work two jobs?!?? But I— I make enough money! I can provide for you!!!"
While spiralling: "Ohmygod ohmygod of course she would be mad at me I can't provide for my family and she has to work as an assassin ON TOP of working full time and doing her share of house chores while actually I can balance my job as a psychiatrist and my missions only thanks to WISE oh Twilight you're such a bad husband SHE HAS TO KILL FOR A LIVING BECAUSE YOU DON'T MAKE ENOUGH MONEY"
Ditto can't read. This fact absolutely destroyed me.
Someone needs to write a fanfic where someone, or Ash or his friends or even Team Rocket just time traveled and arrived to pokopia so they read the notes and tell the mons they were not abandoned and that humans will return one day.
The reason so many of them become sad when you move things is because they are anxious because their humans are gone. Because they feel abandoned. Because they are scared. So, they are trying to make the place beautiful so when the humans come back one day they won't leave again
And what if the Pokopia Pokémons looks at Ash, his friends and Team Rocket and start to think that humans are coming back. That they were the first to arrive and their humans are coming home.
Hope. They feel. Something they haven't felt in a long time.
Bruce, with dementia and should have been asleep, is walking around looking for Dick, thinks Dick is 10: Chum, where are you? Are you in the chandelier again? Dick!
The batkids were upstairs because they thought Bruce was asleep. They are having an intense custody battle over who gets to take care of Dad; they all want to
Barbara is the judge
This happens every day. Barbara is both exhausted and amused. She is having fun.
And it's not just the kids. The adults are in the court at the time. It is always an argument over who gets to spend time with Bruce.
Oliver is the one with the most wins from the kids and adults, to everyone's misery. Oliver is very smug about it.
Because Bruce would, no matter the age, recognize his brother and drag him away to talk to him. It is the same conversation Oliver has heard from him for the 10th time that week, and it's only Tuesday.
Everyone is jealous.
One time, Bruce thought only Damian was adopted, and the rest were his biologically. The absolute warfare Damian unleashed, and the rest were laughing so hard while Bruce was confused.
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After the hundredth child showed up on their doorstep claiming they were the hero destined to slay you, you decided to take matters into your own hands and visit the bastard who keeps sending orphans to kill you.
You know what would be funnier if Kim Rok Soo was also a psychologist.
Au where Kim Rok soo is still a Monster Hunter but also a genius psychologist.
He could tell what is wrong with someone with just a single glance, the tone of voice, the words they use and their body language.
So, when he becomes Cale, in a world where there was little to no knowledge of psychology. He used it to get his slacker life.
There are too many things wrong with all these people.
I'm going to use all of them, he thought.
He gave them home. He gave them food. He gave them healthy coping mechanisms. He gave them guidance. He gave them hope. He gives them revenge.
Cale: See I'm a terrible person. I'm using them.
Everyone: I am doing so much better than I ever have in my entire life. I have never felt so comfortable or justed. How did he do this? I'm never leaving. I'm following this man.
Cale: What's wrong with these people? They are clingy. Vicious people.
It would be so funny. He may be a genius but he is so dense. What's the point of having a superpower of reading people when he gaslight himself?
Do you think he will do experiments on everyone who isn't a human? He would be very excited about that. Because why not? He knows how human mind works very well sometimes beyond his surprise but supernatural creatures? Oh, no one safe.
When Bruce finally goes to the batcave after days of not leaving his room, he sees what Alfred has done. He saw a case. He saw Jason's Robin costume in a glass case on display with Good Soldier written.
Good soldier.
Not beloved son.
Not Jason Todd.
Good Soldier.
He had a breakdown. A bad one.
Since then, he couldn't see the memorial. Not because he couldn't but because his mind completely erased it in order to protect him.
He sees an empty space that bothers him for some reason he can't figure out.
When Dick screamed at him, telling about a memorial and pointing at that empty space. Bruce didn't understand. He couldn't even ask because of how angry Dick was, he didn't want to make it worse.
When he sees his children staring at that empty space, he becomes concerned.
And when Jason, his son comes back angry and resentful, too yells about a memorial.
Bruce doesn't understand. He starts to believe the empty space is hunted.
The saddest part, no one knows that Bruce can't see the memorial or that he can't understand why they are so angry.
Whenever he is close to finding out the truth, his mind doesn't let him. It resets and he forgets what he was doing.
The only one who knows is Oliver.
It breaks him.
He knows Bruce.
He knows his brother.
He knows his brother since they were kids.
He knew when his brother loves, he loves with his soul.
He saw the way his brother broke when his son died.
And then, the tragedy happened.
Oliver arrived at the cave one day to check on him. He stopped breathing when he saw the memorial. For Jason.
Good Soldier.
No, that can't be right.
Bruce would never.
He immediately grabbed Bruce and calmly asked about the memorial and who put it there.
Bruce blinked. He asked Oliver what he was talking about?
Oliver stills. He takes Bruce to the case. He points at it.
Bruce just looks at Oliver like he was the one who was not well.
"Ollie, there is nothing there. Are you feeling okay?"
Something was wrong.
Oliver describe the case to him, he made him touch it, he said the words 'Good Soldier'.
Bruce was horrified at the words. Then his face went blank. His eyes went empty. Just for a few seconds. Then he blinked, looked at Oliver like he just appeared out of thin air, and asked him, what they were talking about.
He had no memory of the previous minute.
Oliver shook his head, a shiver running through him. He was terrified.
He never tried to force him to see it again.
However he tried.
He tried to tell Dick, years ago, 'there is something deeply wrong with your dad. It's related to Jason.'
But Dick looked at him dead in the eyes and said to stay out of family business.
He tried to tell Alfred. He got told that it was Bruce’s burden to bear, and his alone. That we shouldn’t interfere.
So, Oliver stopped trying. He became the only person his brother can go to.
Bruce would show up to his place, confused and broken. He didn't understand why his oldest son was angry.
All his children yell at a blind man for not seeing.
Bruce only went to Oliver when the confusion became too much. Since he was the only one who didn't get angry at him, didn't scream at him for something he couldn't see.
Oliver researched this psychosis.
He went to professionals.
Dissociative amnesia disorder with Psychogenic Blindness, they said.
Bruce remembers everything but the case he can't see.
The reset was the worst. Bruce always slept after the reset. He sleeps soundly and at ease as if his mind didn't just worked to erase
Oliver became the keeper of the one secret where the truth was more dangerous than any lie.
He would sit with Bruce as he talked in circles.
He loves his nephews and niece.
He also hates them. He hates their inability to see what was in front of them.
He knows how much Bruce loves them but he can't see what the problem is.
Then one day, Bruce came to Oliver, crying. But Oliver saw light in his eyes. He saw his brother light. He was happy and overwhelmed.
"Jason is alive, Ollie. My son is alive."
Oliver held him. His arms tembling.
The next week, Bruce came back.
He was crying but this time, it was silent tears which was somehow worse.
"He hates me. My son hates me. He speaks of a memorial. Ollie I searched the entire cave. There is nothing there. Why is he angry with me? Why is he not coming home? What did I do wrong? Is it something with the pit?"
Oliver tried for the final time, "Jason thinks you memorialized him as just a soldier. A tool."
And Bruce, oh Bruce looked at him with horror. He said, "But I didn’t. I wouldn’t. He was my son." He said it with such conviction, such truth… his truth.
And nobody realizes it. They think that's just Natsu.
Now Natsu thinks he and Lucy are married.
Here is my proof.
He was always alone only with Happy when he went on mission in the flashbacks. He would sometimes perfer to be alone and then Lucy showed up. Since then he dragged her everywhere, lives in her house. He talks a lot to her. He brings her gifts (penguin pebbling). He protects her and she protects him. He grands all her wishes (the rainbow sakura and stella stars). He does everything in his power to make sure she is happy. He hates it when she is sad. He loves fighting but she is his top priority. He tries to be more level headed and patient with her. She rewrote the book for him.
Now since he is autistic and adhd, so he skipped formalities and started thinking they are together from the very beginning. Since episode 3.
And the best part no one realizes it.
Happy knows and thinks everyone knows. He has always called Lucy mom. No one thought so much about that.
NaLu has never been 'will they, won't they.' It is 'when will everyone realize that Natsu believes him and Lucy are married.'
Happy has always called Lucy mom. Everyone is just dumb and never made a connection. When they do realize, they are going to need a lot of therapy. Which will be unintentionally be ruined by yours truly father-son Natsu-Happy.
Happy and Natsu thinks Happy and Carla are married. They both share one brain cell.
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Cloud has a secret no one knows. Tifa had lost her memories after she fell off the bridge so she lost a bit of her memory so she doesn't really remember.
Cloud was originally not from Nibelheim he and his mom moved there when he was almost 11. Their hometown is called Valemere, which is mostly unknown to the world, not because of the lack of communication. Cloud here was engaged to a girl his age named Lily. She had red hair, green eyes, and Freckles. She and Cloud know they are to get married soon. They get along wonderfully. They communicated through letters. Cloud and his mom would visit their hometown every so often. At 14, Cloud finally decides to leave to become a soldier, he bids Tifa goodbye and he goes to meet Lily and tells her about his decision. Lily supported him. They still communicated through letters and he would visit her every month for 4 days. And when they were 15 they finally married. In their tradition, instead of wearing rings they wear an armlet on their left forearm. Cloud's armlet is silver and blue and Lily's is gold and red. The armlets are permanent. Never to be taken off ever.
After Cloud was taken by Hojo, Lily waited for him, remaining faithful. Everyone believed he wouldn't return but she knows her husband and she believes he will return.
After 5 years, Cloud was the one to break himself and Zack out of the mako tank and carried him to safety. When he made sure Zack was safe and in the right hands, Zack was unconscious the whole time, in the trunks and Aerith's hands. Cloud left to return to his wife.
When they finally reunite, they embrace each other and cry. He kept apologizing for taking so long to return and she kept saying he is here now. Finally feeling at peace. Cloud never left again. They don't have kids. Cloud took a job in his hometown.
Later Cloud found out his wife was sick and slowly dying. He stayed by her side, helping her with everything. Feeding her, combing her hair, bathing her, buying her new anklets, buying her flowers, and reading her her favorite novels. Even though their time was limited they were very happy. And finally, she passed away peacefully in his arms when they were asleep. He cried so much for her. Her parents are grateful to him for loving their daughter so much.
Cloud visits her grave often. Cloud became how he is now.
He is faithful to his wife. After everything had settled down, he would visit her grave every two weeks.
No one knows about his marriage. No one knows and they will never.
Cloud never looked at anyone the same way he looked at his wife. He remained faithful to her.
(Zack is alive in this one)
Valemere is a very small peaceful village. Everyone knows everyone, and they welcome outsiders. The village is not known outside not because of its lack of communication but because nothing really happens there.
His mother has told him so many stories about his father. She was right of course. He is strong, he is fair, he is like a king but he is so much more.
He is gentle, warm and his arms are always open. He is awkward, he is not good with words, he worries a lot, he scolds for getting hurt, he is clumsy. He avoides eye contact, Damian doesn't blame him, it's overwhelming and unnecessary. He is just like Todd and Grayson said he would be.
Damian was prepared to be to be a weapon. He was trained for this. It is not that he was excited to finally met his father, (that's a lie, he was very excited). Instead, he was taught to be a kid. He was taught that love was not a weakness. He mentioned once that art interested him and his father brought him art supplies. He stayed with him and draw. He was bad at it but Damian saw a small smile on his face. He kept the drawing hidden. His father took to the zoo, because Damian said he liked animals.
He was prepared to a weapon but instead his father unintentionally taught him how to be a son.
Now what if batkids and Alfred were not humans and Bruce didn't know?
Like Alfred is a ghost and has been taking care of the Wayne household for centuries but Bruce didn't know because it never came up and also because it was Martha and Thomas responsibility to do so.
And Dick is an elf, Jason is a demon, Tim is a Phoenix, Cassandra is a mermaid, Duke is a unicorn, Stephanie is a witch and Damian is a half-dragon.
Bruce doesn't know this.
The kids just wanted to mess with him.
It started simple, one by one they arrived. They just wanted to mess with him. Just a little. But...he is warm. His hands are big and they are stupidly gentle and warm. He listens what they have to say. He doesn't yell at them. He comes back. He gets worried for them. He calls them his children and they feel this weird warmth they have never felt in their long lifetime. They also get bedtime stories.
And when Dick saw him cry so much at Jason's dead. Jason wasn't dead, he just went back to hell but Bruce didn't know that.
When Jason returned, years had passed, he saw Bruce grief and he saw the perfect opportunity to mess with him. He was prepared for a fight because humans are complexes but Bruce just cupped Jason to see if he was real. Then he just hug them tightly and cried.
Jason was prepared for a fight but what he got was a hug and he was dragged back to the manor by his hand.
Why is this human like this? They often wonder.
They just wanted to mess with him.
The joke was on them.
Now they look at him and call him dad.
And he smiles.
And if anyone finds out, well the kids threaten them and it works.
Tim looked up from the screen, "Yeah, why did you ask, Bruce?"
"Because you have been distanced. You have been like this since I returned."
"It's nothing. You don't have to worry about it. Aren't you and Damian spending time together?"
Bruce blinks, "Yes we are but half the time I have been stopping him from trying to stab Alfred with a butter knife."
Now it was Tim's turn to blink and he freaked out, "Damian has been trying to do what?!"
"He said back in the League of Assassins, people sometimes stab each other with the least harmful object to bond. They don't stab parents out of respect." Bruce answered
"Has he stabbed someone yet?!"
"Dick and Jason. He tried to bond with Cass but she dodged it-no no this is about you. Why are you pulling away?"
"I am not."
"Tim."
"What? It's not like I am family."
Bruce freezes, "What?"
Tim looks away, "I mean, I am not family to begin with. I am just your sidekick. You needed a robin now that Damian is here I'm not needed anymore."
"How long have you thought like that?"
Tim doesn't answer.
"Do you know I loved you as soon as I met you?"
Tim's eyes widen, and he turns to Bruce. Bruce had a smile on his face.
"I love you. I loved you from the moment I met you. You are my son, not a sidekick. You never were, none of you. Yes, I lost myself after Jason but then you arrived. You pulled me out and all I could think was 'he saw me at my worst and he chose to stay.' That is what kept me going. Because of you."
Tim stared at Bruce, his fingers trembling.
"And I am sorry," Bruce says.
"Why are you sorry?" Tim frowns.
"For loving you in a way you didn't understand. I am sorry for making you feel like that." Bruce avoids eye contact.
"Bruce-"
"And" Bruce cut him off, "there's something I have wanted to ask you before I was gone." He took out a folded paper and handed it to Tim.
Tim unfolded it, his breath hitched.
Adoption papers.
His name was written and Bruce's signature was there, bold and final.
Tim held back a sob as he turned to Bruce.
"I wanted to ask you before I was gone. On that night, everything was prepared. Alfred made your favorite food. It was supposed to be on that day. I am sorry it took me so long." Bruce took a long breath, "I am thankful you came into my life. Will you let me adopt you?"
Bruce heard a lot of things from other parents about how teenagers are. How they become rude, rebellious, how they don't want to talk to you at all, and how they don't want to be around.
So naturally, Bruce was prepared.
LIES, THEY WERE ALL LIES. THEY WERE LIARS.
Because-
Jason would not let him go for 5 hours, telling him all about the books and theories while holding his hand. This is Bruce's punishment because he forgot to give Jason his morning hug. Even as Red Hood, he still does it if Bruce forgets to text him after patrol.
Cassandra would follow him around like a shadow. She would be so silent that he wouldn't even notice her sometimes. Whenever he wakes up, she would be cuddled on his chest or his back.
Tim would be near him. As near as he physically can. He would talk about the cases and how his day went all while handing Bruce his coffee. He would talk until he fell asleep on Bruce's shoulder.
Dick, being the leader of Teen Titans, would be all professional (Bruce thought the parents were right) but as soon as they were alone, Dick would jump on him like the koala he is. Warping his arms and legs around Bruce and telling Bruce how much he missed him.
Damian, much like Cassandra, would follow him around everywhere. He would cling to Bruce's leg if Bruce is not paying him enough attention, which is unforgivable.
Duke, was no different despite just arriving, would play catch and chess with him. He would bring snacks so they could eat together while Duke talked about his day. He would clutch on to Bruce's sleeve at galas.
They all demanded that he read them bedtime stories. They are adults.
Bruce complains to Oliver about how the parents lied to him, and Oliver agrees with Bruce because Roy and Connor are the same. Barry joins in because Wally is the same too.
Where were the rebellious, arguments and not wanting to talk, they were told to be wary of?
Clark is confused about what is happening.
(The main reason Oliver and Bruce are offended is because they are introvert. They tried their best to be fathers and now the kids won't leave them alone. They love their kids, don't get them wrong but they want to be left alone.
Barry was so scared that Wally will not like him anymore)
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I want Bruce to have heterochromia. Blue and green.
So he can match all his kids. Even Jason and Damian after the pit.
Damian had inherited his eyes but after the pit, they turned full green. He was very upset because his mother always told him that he had his father's eyes and he was always so proud of it.
Bruce never really realized how much his kids loved his eyes. And how happy they were to match him.
Edit:
Jason, after the pit, is just relieved that he can still match his dad but he will never admit it.
The king listens to you. The prince learns from you. You can raise commoners to greatness and humble foolish nobles. But the court never could understand the power you hold because they can’t look beyond the jester costume.
