Welcome to my Humble Abode

when i start saying weird shit to you thats the equivalent of a cat exposing its tummy

So pure

THE FASTEST TYPIST IN THE WORLD IS A DOG

200 WPM

im sorry rosie youve been a good friend

They're all war.

Peace was never an option

a couple weeks ago this guy posted in the chicago pagan facebook group saying that he’s a djinn and that there’s a portal between here and egypt and only he and one other person had the power to close it and there was going to be a massive sandstorm… like dude, close the fucking portal, why are you even telling us this

why must my analysis be supported by “textual evidence”? is it not enough for my arguments to be sexy and unhinged??

i don’t ever comment on ppl’s posts bc it feels rude but these are hands down the best things i have ever seen in my entire two plus decades of living. thank you op

I get weirdly offended by all the “cats are mad we’re at home” jokes. Cats are social animals and we have evidence that they love us. I just really love my cat ok?

I felt bad that my family pays more attention to our dumb little dog instead of our beautiful cat so I bought her a laser toy and I’ve been playing with her more and now she LOVES me. This cat was perfectly content by herself, quiet as a mouse, and now she waits for me to come home and she MEOWS at me and she nuzzles like crazy. She was never allowed in my room so she used to sneak in to steal my hair ties and knock over my shit and then run away and now she’ll just flop on my bed, nuzzling everything and purring like crazy. She’s not my cat but now i’m her person and it’s terrible send hel;

Handicapable.

Just awesome

THE GUY WITH THE CAUTION WET FLOOR SIGN THOUGH. HE IS MY HERO BECAUSE HE DIDN’T EVEN STOP HE JUST GRABBED IT LIKE ‘WEAPON GET’

IT’S NOT NECESSARY? STILL USING IT. 

i apperciate that like probably every person in the store came rushing over when they realized what was up.