Stress Me Out Babe

op are you a hobbit

my favorite coworker told me the scenario she thinks of to fall asleep is she stumbles upon a baby sheep and has to raise it and it grows up and she has to shear it and she says she envisions shearing it so carefully that she always falls asleep at that part

it must feel good as hell when you’re a horse and you take a big bite out of an apple like ttshoke

your command over onomatopoeia is unmatched bestie

hi! i’m god. from bible. why are you doing that

the little girl i was looking after today was so effortlessly funny and she didn't even know it. she wanted me to play "holidays" with her, which i assumed was a game where you pretend to be going on holiday - and it technically was, except her version mostly consisted of roleplaying being stuck in a traffic jam on the way to the airport