Bedlam's Full...

I read the book at 16 and thought it was clever and funny. I didn’t reread it religiously as some do, but it was one of the few favourite books I reread roughly every 5years.

The first season was fantastic. I know that the characters of Crowley and Aziraphale were shifted a bit from the book: instead of Cold War spies they were corporate underdogs- it suited the time better. And in S1 there was’t any romance inherent in the script, that was just because of the nuclear force of chemistry between the two leads.

I looked forward to S2, but was mostly disappointed. I liked the original angelic meeting at the start, that was sweet and didn’t diminish from the original garden of Eden meeting. I adored the Companion to Owls minisode by John Finnemore. Edinburgh and bodysnaching with discussions about poverty, morality, and the greater good was also lovely; only marred for me by the overly comedic turn of Crowley having an Alice in Wonderland fit (but ymmv). So much of the rest of S2 was filler and lacked the strong human drama and substance of S1. The nazi zombies? WTF was that? They didn’t need a shambolick encore, their end was perfect in S1. So for me, half of S2 was silly plotless wibble that was studded with occasional lovely little gems of dialogue. The other bit I enjoyed was Crowley trying to be unkind and brutal to Jim, but as soon as he knew it wasn’t deserved, he couldn’t. That was an interesting set up along with Crowley going to heaven and the Lazarus miracle -lovely ideas and premise, leading to sod all. (I know Covid scuppered so much of S2 which is why I try to forgive its shortcomings.)

As an aside, I find it interesting that S1 Crowley is no more powerful or clued in than Aziraphale. S2 Crowley apparently was a high up angel as he recognises the Metatron and can access files Muriel can’t, and he seems to know something about the book of life and memory wipes - ‘looking at where the furniture isn’t.’ In S3 this trend of him seeming to be the only angel or demon who understands how the universe works is continued (there are several instances but the one that comes to mind is him talking about how the game is always rigged because of god and that doing anything that bets against her wishes is pointless.) Also WTF was up with the angelic war scene? Aziraphale was a great general who earns praise from all his fellow angels, Aziraphale ‘I’ve never killed anything’ who is endlessly scorned and bullied by his fellow angels? Aziraphale ‘I’m soft’ and ‘you pathetic excuse for an angel!’ Fell? THAT Aziraphale? No.

Having known second hand the life and death of Soho through sex, booze, old school gangsters and finally gentrification, I’m fine with the thug subplot and Crowley sleeping rough. It’s an homage to the history of Soho. It was really like that, homelessness and prostitutes and cafes and pubs and quirky shops and betting shops and gangsters.

I know S3 was cut to ribbons. I also know how hard everyone fought tooth and nail to get an ending. I love the direction and the costumes and the set, the lighting, the everything about the production. But I could easily drive a JCB through the plot holes in S3. And the ending… just fuck the fuck off.

People talk about what is or is not a Pratchett influence in S2 or 3. In S2., the angels granting new children to Job and Sitis, and the humans wanting the children they had, and Aziraphale and Crowley messing about to fool the powers that be to get the kind, humane outcome? That’s very Pratchett. (Again, thank you John Finnemore; you at least understand the heart of this saga.)

Adam thought of ending the world in S1 and starting over, then realised it would be better to try to fix it. S2 Job and Sitis wanted their own children back - twice the amount of new children would not cut it. In both instances the angel and demon supported these choices and tried to see they came about.

Pratchett was always on the side of humanity, yes. But a pissy God and a random Adversary in the bookshop and the binary choice, the power, given to our favourite ineffable duo? No. And the choice they made? The pointless double suicide that achieves nothing? Double no. That is a fucking awful ending. Did the writers forget along the way the GO is a comedy? Oh, arguing with God and Satan, yes, lovely philosophy, very Pratchett. But the decision? The answer to the problem? Giving in to the pointless ‘inevitable’ end and a death pact for the Greater Good? FUCK OFF.

Yes, the Asa and Anthony set up was cute. But they weren’t Aziraphale or Crowley. They were random people with vague echoes of the angel and demon, set in our world that thad turned out exactly the same as the original GO world. Without heaven or hell there was still the 14th Century and the Spanish Inquisition and Covid and wars and shit. Nothing changed. Which was rather both Pratchett’s and Crowley’s point: humans are more awful than demons and more beautific than angels.

The two characters we love, do a double suicide to create a new Godless world that is not messed about with… and it’s our world and all the history is the same; making their sacrifice utterly meaningless. Also the point of the original premise- the book and S1 - is that for all the meddling, humanity is the prime moving force and will always win in the end.

Adam chosen humanity and a flawed world. Job and Sitis choose their flawed children. And then in S3 we say never mind, explode everything, start over - and it doesn’t even end up better?!

FUCK.

I am bias. My dad died two days before S1 came out. I couldn’t eat or sleep for weeks. S1 was the only thing that stopped me sobbing. I watched it on a loop for weeks.

That was years back now. But yes, on a very personal level, I will also say that S3 hurt me because the two immortals I’d taken my grief out on and my hope too, just got destroyed. They never got their happy ending. They died with their feelings and stories unresolved and instead a pale facsimile of them (without their memories or mannerisms) got together. Forgive me if I’m severely underwhelmed.

Great stories can make you cry. But so can getting punched twice in the gut for no reason. That was not a Pratchett ending. That was a shive in the ribs trying to pretend it’s a Pratchett ending as you bleed out.

The book and S1 will always be something I love. I love an edited version of S2 without the pointless filler. And I love the poor fucked up doing its best most of S3. But the end can seriously FUCK OFF.

For my money, Jesus should have faced down God just as Adan faced down Satan. He would have demanded that god show mercy on humanity and should choose humans instead of being indifferent AF and nuking the universe. Bookshop god was a bitch. The previous version of god actually managed to sound whimsical and not a bitch when shouting at Job, and if you read the actual chapter and verse in the bible that’s the most bratty ‘shut up you peon I’m GOD’ that the bible ever has. But bookshop god was indifferent to the point of cruelty. That god was barely even amused at the end of her wanky game of catds against herself. Could S3 god at least have the self amusement and insane whimsy of S1 and S2 god? No. S3 god is mean and rigid even as she acknowledges the whimsy and amusement Aziraphale and Crowley have provided her. Ergh.

I have Crowley’s snake and Aziraphale’s feathers tattooed across my arm as well as ‘ineffable sauntering’ in Enochian. And I will never regret that because GO S1 stopped me from killing myself after my father died.

Remember how everyone talked about the final 15 in S2? I can watch S3 - I like the Soho references even if I’m sad Jesus didn’t get more plot, but I have to nope it out as soon as Crowley is asked what he wants and he chooses double suicide for a reason that doesn’t exist. I spent 25 years trying not to do that. I hate that I have to pretend it’s not canon that one of my favourite characters did the thing I’ve been fighting not to do.

Whilst it is obvious that Soho is dead and no longer full of people and cars due to budget cuts, there is a deeper reason why for me - a London native - Soho falls once Aziraphale is gone.

Soho, historically, is London’s red light district. Porn, prostitution, grubby books, grubby films, and cafe culture filled with every outcast of society. (Remember Crowley’s heist plan and all the gaudy lights of 60s Soho?) Soho also had a huge homeless contingent - young people who had run away from their problems only to wash up, like flotsam and jetsam, in Dean Street as cheap bodies for whatever was going.

Mrs Sandwich changing the sign on her door from ‘model top floor’ to ‘room to rent’ and all the construction crews and tape, that’s what happened to Soho: Soho was forcibly ‘gentrified’. The houses and people were evicted - sometimes by police - under whatever pretext was applicable.

My father ran a set of editing houses and a media company in Wardour Street from the late 70s to the mid 90s. He used to have a pint with Jeoffrey Bernard, and the editors and stalwarts of Private Eye, and Peter O’Toole or whoever was aflame in the West End at the time. That’s just how Soho was.

Whilst Crowley sleeping on the streets is TV angst, for me it’s a true representation of Soho. Fandom has decided that Aziraphale is the guardian of Soho, and perhaps he was. But once he left, reality kicked in. The best and worst of everything: the gentrification of the area whilst people are evicted and others are sleeping in back alleys.

Same with the ‘thug’ element. Some people have said that bit of plot in S3 is pointless. It’s not if you know Soho.

My dad’s film offices got broken into and some expensive equipment was stolen. At the pub down the road (the Blue Posts probably) he heard a young person bragging about how they had robbed his place and the older person with him spat nails and his pint ‘cos you don’t piss where you eat. You don’t rob your own bloody gaff - and that included my dad’s film offices. My dad put his hand up and said ‘technically he robbed me’ and listed what was taken. Older guy said ‘I’m sorry, guv, we’ll see it’s returned to you’ whilst staring death glares at young idiot. At the end of day a small transit van drove up, said it had deliveries, got buzzed in, and everything was returned. That’s Soho.

I don’t like S3. It makes me miserable which was never the point of GO. (Season 1 came out two days after my dad died. I didn’t eat I didn’t sleep I just watched GO endlessly .) I honestly wish John Finnemore had written GO3 because in Companion to Owls in S2 he showed he really understood what was going on, and with Cabin Pressure he has proven he can weave a fantastic ending that is realistic, silly, and delightful. None of which S3 was.