the little king

jerking off is gay because you’re the same gender as yourself

being an executioner used to be an inherited job. imagine dealing with teen angst and also job shadowing your dad the town’s torturer

When a lad tries to have a laugh at you and you clock him bonkers with an ashtray in front of his mates.

putting carbonated water in my super soaker and spraying it at dogs (they absorb the bubbling nature of the liquid and begin to ascend into the sky) (thousands watch in awe) (no one does anything) (the sight is, in essence, divine)

i feel like im a weird age where i got just a blurry glimpse at the world Before. it used to be cold in the mornings and websites had fun games and the search results showed you what you searched for. covid wasn't a thing. can anybody fucking hear me. did i dream it all????

Do threats and punishments make people change their behaviour to the desired? Or does it make them prepare for the punishment? The answer will shock you.

the idea that every summer will be as hot if not hotter than this for the rest of my life is unbearable i need to (remembers suicide jokes are bad for my mental health) murder an oil executive

i kinda love to waste time but dont tell anybody