World's worstest girl in the world v2

A = Affection (How affectionate are they? How do they show affection?)

Drake is not one for subtlety. Everything she does she does fully and that applies to loving you. She will do whatever she wants, whenever she wants no matter who’s present.

B = Best friend (What would they be like as a best friend? How would the friendship start?)

She’s easy to get along with but you have to be careful about ulterior motives.

C = Cuddles (Do they like to cuddle? How would they cuddle?)

She likes to keep her most prized treasures close so you will be spending a lot of time in her lap. It is very comfortable though there may be some inappropriate touching.

D = Domestic (Do they want to settle down? How are they at cooking and cleaning?)

She’s not the type for domestic stuff. She’d much rather take you with her on her adventures than settle down.

E = Ending (If they had to break up with their partner, how would they do it?)

Most likely just disappears onto another one of her adventures.

F = Fiance(e) (How do they feel about commitment? How quick would they want to get married?)

She has probably gotten married before though not on purpose. The idea of commitment isn’t something she’s very familiar with. Though the opulence of a wedding does pique her interest. Having a huge gaudy wedding dress would be nice and she is fond of planning big explosive events.

G = Gentle (How gentle are they, both physically and emotionally?)

She’s not the soft and gentle type outside very rare situations. Often she will be taking jabs at you in a playful way.

H = Hugs (Do they like hugs? How often do they do it? What are their hugs like?)

Drake is never not in a mood to just grab you but you have to be careful. Most of the time she just wants to touch you someplace where she’ll get a reaction but on rare occasions she’s after something hidden in your pockets.

I = I love you (How fast do they say the L-word?)

It is rare to hear her say she loves you. She’s not shy about saying she loves other things including parts of you or things you do but saying she just loves you is surprisingly difficult for her. It will happen only during rare quiet moments where she feels comfortable enough to be vulnerable.

J = Jealousy (How jealous do they get? What do they do when they’re jealous?)

She’s definitely not the overly possessive type but she does enjoy fighting for her treasure.

K = Kisses (What are their kisses like? Where do they like to kiss you? Where do they like to be kissed?)

Matching her usual personality her kisses are aggressive and greedy. She almost always tastes like alcohol.

L = Little ones (How are they around children?)

She’s definitely fun with kids, entertaining them with grand stories. Taking care of them is something she’s not really cut out for though.

M = Morning (How are mornings spent with them?)

For most of her life waking next to someone meant she had to find a way to sneak out so in a relationship she likes to savor these moments. Even if she’s not hungover she doesn’t like to get up early and she won’t let you either.

N = Night (How are nights spent with them?)

She loves to stay up late drinking, singing and/or sharing stories and most of the time she’ll rope you into it too.

O = Open  (When would they start revealing things about themselves? Do they say  everything all at once or wait a while to reveal things slowly?)

Very up front about who she is. Drake doesn’t feel the need to lie about herself.

P = Patience (How easily angered are they?)

She’s very relaxed and it’s tough to get her mad.

Q = Quizzes  (How much would they remember about you? Do they remember every little  detail you mention in passing, or do they kind of forget everything?)

She remembers far more than she lets on. Usually she pretends that she forgot something so she can surprise you.

R = Remember (What is their favorite moment in your relationship?)

Her fondest memory was waking up next to you for the third day in a row. She had woken up next to plenty of people and though rare there had been second times. The third morning she had only reached with you and it really made her realise that she’s in an actual relationship now.

S = Security (How protective are they? How would they protect you? How would they like to be protected?)

Drake has no qualms about protecting what’s hers but if you tried stepping in to defend her she would think it’s the most adorable thing in the world.

T = Try (How much effort would they put into dates, anniversaries, gifts, everyday tasks?)

She’s always willing to do extravagant things for you. After all, treasure has no value if you don’t spend it.

U = Ugly (What would be some bad habits of theirs?)

Greedy, perverted, a bit too fond of alcohol, boastful, hedonistic, amoral etc. What’s not to love?

V = Vanity (How concerned are they with their looks?)

Extravagance is the name of the game. She always wears a big hat if it’s appropriate, gaudy rings adorn almost all her fingers, similar bracelets on both her hands, and gold is also present on most of her other clothing items as well. But that is only when she’s trying to show off. Most of the time she chooses her clothing based on comfort and function.

W = Whole (Would they feel incomplete without you?)

It would hurt her way more than she expects. She can deal with losing anything except you.

X = Xtra (A random headcanon for them.)

Incredibly easily impressed by home cooking. Food options on the sea are limited to say the least so anything you make for her blows her away.

Y = Yuck (What are some things they wouldn’t like, either in general or in a partner?)

She’s not fond of people who are too uptight about law or morals.

Z = Zzz (What is a sleep habits of theirs?)

Another long one for your viewing pleasure, though not nearly as long as Revolver Riot. I do hope you all enjoy it! However, I must pay my dues first.

A special thanks goes out to my dear friend, Simply Vivian who was the one responsible for requesting this and sharing her thoughts on it. Once again, I must apologize to her for my borderline insane behaviors and I am glad you are willing to talk and scheme with one as odd as me.

That aside! Let's get this show on the road!

You looked at the mountain of textbooks hefted onto the poor table that was currently creaking and groaning under the weight that had been forced upon it by the cruel task master you had been employed by.

It just so happened that the task master you had been employed by was Nine The Phantom, former member of the six heroes (although she hated the moniker) and current terror of desks everywhere, feared for her magical prowess and the rate at which she hefts ancient tomes upon tables too weak to bear their mass.

Nonetheless, you had been assigned a task the last time you stood here and you had completed it, and in record time no less.

So, after a sigh and a shake of your head, you walked forward with a tray on one hand and the newest book truck laden with tomes that seemed to be whispering in your mind rolling before you.

You placed the tray on the small table you had managed to force Nine not to use to stack books until they resembled the tower of babel.

The second you did however, you heard a thump come from the desk Nine was working at.

“Ninetey four hours. You're getting rusty Nine.” you declared as you turned to the now unconscious woman, a small smirk on your face. 

You made a small circle in the air with your finger as you walked towards nine, a line of white energy following the path.

Once the line connected, books began to float off the desks and into their places on the bookshelves or into ordered piles as bookmarks flew into the open books before they snapped shut and floated off to wherever they belonged.

Throughout all the noise and fluttering, Nine remained comatose and snoring slightly.

If you didn’t know her, you would say she looked almost peaceful.

Keyword being “almost” as, despite her sleeping form, she still had all of her hellion hallmarks in full view.

Fingers with faded papercuts, a stereotypical witch hat that looked as if it had been burned alongside the rest of her black and pink clothes which, with the fact any room she was in seemed to teeter on the edge between warm and unbearably hot, might explain why a faint smell of smoke seemed to follow her everywhere.

“One of these days I will teach you how to start taking care of yourself. I have it penned in right after the heat death of the universe.” you sarcastically muttered as you delicately pulled her chair back, slid your arms under her legs, and carefully picked her up.

Idly, you recalled the absolute travesty that was the first time you attempted this.

You shook the thought from your mind with a shudder and allowed practiced movements to take hold, slowly and surely carrying both you and her up the steps, across the halls, through the rooms, and, eventually, to the destination you had brought her to many times before.

It was a simple room with a simple bed, a black and magenta quilt, a side table, a chest at the foot of the bed, black and magenta curtains, a chair in the corner, a vanity against the wall with a matching stool, and a small bookshelf of books that Nine had no use for but, for some reason, could never bring herself to get rid of.

You wondered if it had anything to do with how all of the books on that particular shelf were books that featured two sisters working together and looking out for one another.

You also knew better to ask her outright if that was why as, like most people, you found being burned alive to be an unpleasant way to die.

Not to mention the fact that your job was not to ask questions, it was to keep the madwoman in your arms from working herself to death.

If you had known what a nightmare said job would be, you would’ve asked for higher wages.

Alas, the time for that had long since passed. You were with Nine for the long haul now. Whether that means standing at her side as she re-makes the world, being used to bounce ideas off of, or simply to lessen the number of cricks she gets in her neck to the best of your ability, you had thrown your lot in with her.

You knew why you did, but you also know that not even Relius Clover could get that reason out of you.

Before you could muse on that though any further however, you felt Nine shift in your arms, forcing you to realize that you had been standing here for who knows how long with someone who could burn you to ashes with a look in your arms like an absolute buffoon.

“My, my, it seems you're not the only one getting rusty…” you said with a chuckle as you placed Nine on the bed and then draped the quilt over her with care and grace.

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

As you walked down the stairs, taking great pains to avoid making a single noise, you ran down the mental checklist of things that need doing today and marked off the ones you had already completed until you arrived at the final few left unfinished.

Laundry, groceries, and preparing for tomorrow's meals.

Needless to say, you immediately set to work completing your tasks.

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

As your shoes clicked against the stone streets, you silently watched the shops and grocers slowly wind down and the bars and clubs quickly fill up.

“Despite everything happening, people still carry on like normal… heh, the more things change the more they stay the same.” you muttered to yourself as you walked into your final stop of the day, a small, almost quaint, farmers market.

Coincidentally, it was at this time someone else was within its isles.

Someone with an exceptionally sharp sense of smell.

Someone who could smell the fire and brimstone on you that was courtesy of Nine.

Someone by the name of Valkenhayn R. Hellsing.

Needless to say, his interest was piqued.

“My apologies Miss Rachel, but it seems that cats are not the only animals who are curious.” the older gentleman muttered to himself as he watched your reflection pass by in the glass before placing the final few pieces of produce in his bag and walking towards the register.

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

As you walked out of the market, you took a moment to enjoy the brisk air that signaled the changing seasons. The breeze was caught somewhere between a breath of fresh air in summer, and the crisp coolness of autumn.

Unfortunately, your enjoyment of the moment was soon to be ruined.

“Good evening, would you happen to know a woman by the name of Nine?” a voice from behind asked you as the sound of a pocket watch being snapped closed reached your ears.

Instantly alarm bells were screaming in your head as you slowly turned to face the man behind you.

He was an older fellow with tan skin and silver hair courtesy of his age that was tied back with a pinkish red bow. He stood next to the outside table and was dressed in black slacks, steel toed dress shoes, a red and gold vest, and a dress shirt with a folded coat in his arm, that said, you would hesitate to call him “gentlemanly” due to the sharp canines you could see peeking through his smile and the scarred and calloused hands that told a tale of many hard fights won, not to mention his piercing blue eyes that gave you the feeling that he was watching for the slightest movement that could give him cause to rip your throat out.

The man had no need to introduce himself as Nine had spoken of him before.

Valkenhayn R. Hellsing, butler to the Alucard Family, and fearsome warrior capable of wreaking carnage with the same ease he made his bed.

“To what do I owe the pleasure, sir Hellsing.” you declared, doing your best to keep your voice even and your eyes on any route you could take to escape.

“Please, call me Valkenhayn. I also thank you for answering my question. Though, I am quite surprised Miss Nine has mentioned an old dog like me.” the lycanthrope declared with a chuckle as you kicked yourself for your slip up.

“Oh and please do not worry, I bear no ill will towards her. Not at the moment at least so you need not worry about my presence here.” Valkenhayn explained with a slight bow, before placing his coat on the back of the seat, and gesturing to a table next to him.

“I’m fine with standing.” was your response to the gesture.

“Please, as one professional to another, I insist!” the older man exclaimed with an edge in his voice that told you he would either physically force you to sit at the table, wash your mouth out with soap, or split you down the middle like a deer and let all of your innards fall out and onto the streets.

Needless to say, you placed your bag of groceries on the ground and sat at the table.

“So then! Please tell me about how Nine is doing. It’s been quite a long while since any of us have caught up. Mostly due to most of us being dead, missing, or too busy running from the authorities but that is neither here or there.” Valkenhayn said with the same blase tone one would ask about the weather today.

You wondered if that was a trait shared with all of Nine’s compatriots as she was quite the same… whenever she crawled out of her library or wasn’t grumbling and muttering under her breath.

“I… don’t really know what to tell you, Valkenhayn. She’s… spirited and… driven.” you half heartedly declared, knowing full well that those adjectives didn’t truly grasp the full scope of Nine’s existence.

Better words would be headache inducing, stubborn, fiery tempered, explosively reactive with the full range of emotions, scatterbrained, indecipherably intelligent, and the type of crazy found in people who specialize in exceedingly esoteric fields, not to mention she was exceptionally attracti-

As soon as you realized what you were thinking, you shut the thought down with a violent efficiency typically only found in mantis shrimp.

“Ah, so not much has changed then. She’s still a woman who… much prefers to go about things in her own way.” the older butler declared with a small smile before his face went pale and he muttered under his breath, as if he was afraid of Nine hearing him “I am thinking of other descriptors for her, but after the first and last time I spoke ill of her I learned better.”

All you could do in response was nod solemnly in agreement.

“Grim subjects aside, does she still like sugar cookies? I still have the recipe she used to order by the dozens memorized… though I have refined it a bit over the years.” Valkenhayn asked with an almost conspiratorial grin on his face that showed just a bit of the young man he used to be, although… it was tainted by a sad nostalgia of times that, while not good, were better with the company he kept.

However, as soon as you noticed it, it was gone.

“Well I can’t really say. She’s not too fond of talking about herself, or anything really.” you admitted with a sigh that could only be described as frustrated.

“Hmm… the more things change the more they stay the same.” the older fellow declared with a chuckle as he shook his head before reaching his hand into one of the pockets in his coat, and pulling out a pen and a notepad.

He then proceeded to jot something down on the first page before tearing it out and handing it to you.

Upon the page, in elegant script, was a recipe for sugar cookies.

“Here, this should get her to open up. It did last time.” Valkenhayn declared before standing and putting on his coat before reaching into another pocket, placing a pair of white gloves upon his hands, and then leaning over slightly to pick up his own bag of groceries.

“Though, perhaps you should take your time walking home. It is not often a day as pleasant as this occurs. Doubly so with the turmoil the world is going through.” the old war dog declared sadly before turning to face you.

“That said, as one professional to another, I do hope you realize that if you or Nine was ever to cause harm to my master… I would butcher the both of you with such precision neither of you would die until I believed you had suffered enough for your slights against lady Rachel. Needless to say, I am entirely aware that you would be fully willing to do the same to me. Professional courtesy and such.” Valkenhayn R. Hellsing, The Silver Wolf, declared with a cold, barely contained fury. Almost as if simply imagining it would be enough to send him flying off the handle and rip you to bloody chunks of meat.

In response, you simply nodded.

Valkenhayn then gave you a slight bow, turned around, and then walked away.

You then stood up, placed the recipe in your pocket, grabbed your bag of produce, and walked away as well.

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

Piercing black and yellow eyes bored through the ceiling as Nine laid upon her bed, hat set to the side which allowed her pink locks to spread across the mattress freely.

Every other time before, when she had collapsed in her study and awoke in this room, she had always immediately set back to work while you sighed and shook your head before setting off to complete your tasks which eventually led you back to her where she would promptly collapse from exhaustion and the cycle would repeat.

The routine, despite how odd it was, served as a sort of comfort to the witch.

Despite that, something was rooting her in place at this moment.

It could have something to do with the countless threads she had pulled in her research that left her drowning in theory, philosophy, and information while being no closer to her goal.

It could have been about how a familiar aroma was hanging in the air that dredged up half forgotten and fractured times with friends turned enemies. 

Or it could’ve been about you and how you managed to put up with her alongside why you did.

Still, nothing was going to come of her laying there and thinking about both everything and nothing.

Unfortunately, for some reason, she could not muster the mental might to remove herself from the comforting embrace of her warm bed and soothing feel of the quilt atop her.

What a truly horrible prison she had been trapped in.

It was at this exact moment that Nine received a knock at her door.

“Enter.” Nine declared, her eyes still boring through the ceiling as she knew there was only one person it could be.

The door opened with a quiet creak as you walked a few steps into the room before speaking.

“Dinner is ready and… I have baked a few plates of sugar cookies.” you declared, only barely able to stifle the grin you felt trying to make itself known on your countenance when you saw Nine’s eyes widen slightly and a slight smile grace her face. 

“Thank you, I will be down shortly.” Nine responded, keeping her voice even.

In response, you nodded and stepped out into the hall before closing the door.

This gave Nine the perfect shield for her to shoot up from her bed and stride over to the chest at the foot of her bed which she threw open and promptly grabbed a set of pajamas out from within.

However, these were not just any pajamas, they were her comfortable pajamas which were saved for when she had made great progress in her research, or was to eat something delectable for dinner.

And, in her mind, Sugar Cookies most definitely qualified.

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

Nine was very careful to walk down the stairs in order to not betray her excitement for the desert she was soon to receive.

Not to mention the fact she had pulled out her comfortable clothes for this, and they deserved to be enjoyed.

A black and magenta colored silk button up shirt that was a bit too large but not uncomfortably so alongside a matching pair of pants that fit perfectly, a black and magenta sleeping robe, and finally, the piece de resistance, a pair of fluffy magenta slippers that felt like she was walking on air.

It was rare for her to wear this outfit, but she deserved to treat herself. Especially with how frustrating her research had become as of late.

But speaking of treats… Nine had found hers the second she looked into the kitchen.

They sat upon the counter, a perfect golden brown with a heavy dusting of sugar upon their tops and what made them look all the more tantalizing was the chocolate that had been baked into them and the shimmer of heat still coming off of the cookies that told her they were fresh out of the oven.

In simple terms, they looked ambrosial.

And the thing that made them all the more tempting?

Your back was turned to them while you worked at the stove, putting the finishing touches on the night's dinner.

It would be so simple to just… sneak in there and grab one, and far less risky than trying to swipe some from Valkenhayn.

His lectures were still inked into her head after all these years…

Needless to say, Nine set to work and slipped into the kitchen with nary a sound, slowly advancing past the table in the center of the room until she was within arms reach.

She slowly reached out, her hand inching closer and closer until-

*ZAP*

“ACK!” Nine hissed as a jolt of electricity shocked her hand away from the tray of heavenly cookies, a small sigil floating in the air where her hand had been just an instant before.

“You’ll ruin your appetite y’know.” you declared, still working upon dinner which seemed to be a stew or soup of some sort.

“I should have never taught you that.” Nine grumbled, trying to keep a pout from taking form on her face.

She was failing miserably.

In response you simply chuckled and nodded to the table, asking her to take a seat without a word.

Nine considered her options.

On one hand, she could’ve simply dispelled the little defense you put up around the cookies.

On the other, she should’ve seen that coming from a world away and was still caught by it.

As such, Nine decided to take that loss on the cheek and wait patiently for dinner to be completed.

Thankfully she didn’t have to wait long.

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

Dinner, due to her ravenous desire to finally get to those cookies, was a blur for Nine. That said, it was also quite delicious.

Eventually though, a plate filled with the desert she longed for was placed before her and she was finally able to take a bite.

When she did, she realized why they smelled so familiar as she was instantly sent back to a much different time, a time that, while not better, was far more bearable with her peers.

She had almost forgotten that feeling.

She wondered if that was why you had stuck with her through thick and thin.

If so, what in the world had she done to earn such loyalty?

“Nine? Are you okay?” your worried voice shook her free of her rumination, allowing her to realize tears were falling down her face.

“I… no. I was reminded of something.” the Witch answered before taking another bite of her cookie.

“Was it a bad memory?” you asked, watching her carefully.

Nine was quiet for a moment as she chewed and thought about the question before shaking her head and swallowing.

“I wouldn’t call it a bad memory simply… a sad one about people long gone.” Nine declared as a smile formed on her face that was not too dissimilar from the one you saw Valkenhayn make.

You didn’t ask any more questions after that.

"Actually Fight"

A = Affection (How affectionate are they? How do they show affection?)

Nanao likes to keep her affectionate actions private. She already needs to deal with enough just because her captain knows she’s in a relationship so she doesn’t need him complaining about not getting the same treatment as you.

B = Best friend (What would they be like as a best friend? How would the friendship start?)

You’re most likely to bond with her over books. She’s a voracious reader and meeting her in the library is more than likely.

C = Cuddles (Do they like to cuddle? How would they cuddle?)

Nanao only gets cuddly when she’s very tired however that is actually very often with how she overworks herself. She likes to lay her back on your chest and read while you hold her.

D = Domestic (Do they want to settle down? How are they at cooking and cleaning?)

She’s very good at maintaining a household but she expects you to put in the same effort and won’t tolerate you ignoring your duties.

E = Ending (If they had to break up with their partner, how would they do it?)

She’d keep it brief and polite but in private she’d be hurt pretty bad though no one except Kyoraku would know.

F = Fiance(e) (How do they feel about commitment? How quick would they want to get married?)

Nanao would be a total control freak and she’d spend ages organising her wedding and making sure every single detail is perfect. This means while she’d be ecstatic about your proposal the wedding could be delayed for a really long time so she can have the perfect conditions.

G = Gentle (How gentle are they, both physically and emotionally?)

She is so sweet with you people wouldn’t believe she’s the same lieutenant that keeps hitting her captain over the head with a book.

H = Hugs (Do they like hugs? How often do they do it? What are their hugs like?)

She’d never admit it but she likes when you hug her from behind and rest your chin on her head.

I = I love you (How fast do they say the L-word?)

She doesn’t say it out loud often because she finds it embarrassing. You’ll more often find it in the various notes she leaves for you.

J = Jealousy (How jealous do they get? What do they do when they’re jealous?)

Nanao gets very obviously jealous but she refuses to act on it. If you point it out she will deflect and claim she wouldn’t do childish things like that.

K = Kisses (What are their kisses like? Where do they like to kiss you? Where do they like to be kissed?)

She likes to give you a quick kiss if she finds a private moment before she goes off to do something. When you actually have time alone she loves long romantic make outs.

L = Little ones (How are they around children?)

She’s very quick to establish her authority. She’s not a killjoy but she believes in enforcing the rules she sets.

M = Morning (How are mornings spent with them?)

Nanao sticks to a very strict schedule and won’t tolerate nonsense in the morning. Or so she claims. A few more minutes in bed with you doesn't change that much. It doesn't really matter which one of you is making breakfast and showering together will surely save time.

N = Night (How are nights spent with them?)

Nanao likes to get in bed early so she can spend time reading before sleep though she won’t be opposed if you have other ideas.

O = Open  (When would they start revealing things about themselves? Do they say  everything all at once or wait a while to reveal things slowly?)

Nanao struggles with being vulnerable especially if she has a hard time putting her feelings into words.

P = Patience (How easily angered are they?)

She’s a lot more forgiving with you than her captain but you’ll still find yourself on the receiving end of her wrath if you push her.

Q = Quizzes  (How much would they remember about you? Do they remember every little  detail you mention in passing, or do they kind of forget everything?)

Nanao has a very good memory and is unlikely to forget things she considers important.

R = Remember (What is their favorite moment in your relationship?)

It was very hard for her to confront you about the curse and it was a huge burden off her shoulders when you dismissed it as ridiculous.

S = Security (How protective are they? How would they protect you? How would they like to be protected?)

Nanao gets very worried especially if you’re sick. As long as you are she will set up next to your bed and do paperwork from home until you’re better. Even her captain will come over and surprisingly just quietly join her in working.

T = Try (How much effort would they put into dates, anniversaries, gifts, everyday tasks?)

She spends a lot of time agonizing over what to do for you which leads to Shunsui teasing her about it.

U = Ugly (What would be some bad habits of theirs?)

She can be too serious at times.

V = Vanity (How concerned are they with their looks?)

She’s used to dressing professionally so going out of her way to try and look pretty is something she needs help with.

W = Whole (Would they feel incomplete without you?)

It would make her very depressed for a long time but with the help of others she’d work through it.

X = Xtra (A random headcanon for them.)

Shunsui is an ever present part of your relationship. He will always have a teasing comment ready and will give Nanao “tips” on how to make you happy.

Y = Yuck (What are some things they wouldn’t like, either in general or in a partner?)

She dislikes laziness and inappropriate comments.

Z = Zzz (What is a sleep habits of theirs?)

y’all bleed outta your vaginas

once a month, your panties look like a fucking murder scene

you are basically giVING BIRTH TO THE FUCKING LINING OF ONE OF YOUR INTERNAL ORGANS

and yet you just go about your daily business like

Kneeling down you pulled her hand towards you and placed a gentle kiss on the back of it. Rangiku gasped, putting the back of her other hand on her forehead and throwing her head back as if she was going to faint.

“Oh my goodness!” she yelled. “However am I meant to resist such romantic advances?”

“Do you really have to do this in my office?” Toshiro asked as politely as he could.

“Oh come on captain. You don’t have to take your jealousy out on us.”

“WHAT!?”

“I’m sure there are plenty of girls that’d be interested in you despite your shortcomings.”

“Rangiku…” Toshiro tried to contain his anger.

“You just need to stop giving them the cold shoulder y’know?” “Reign over the frosted heavens…”

Rangiku grabbed you and left the room as quickly as she could to save you from the icy punishment of her captain.

It was a beautiful spring day. The wind blew the petals of the cherry blossoms around the garden. You and Nanao were sharing a deep kiss she initiated. Just as it seemed you were both going to run out of breath a voice scared you two apart.

“It’s nice to see love bloom with the flowers.”

Nanao frantically looked around until her eyes landed on the source of the noise. A man camouflaged by his pink kimono was sitting in the branches. It was Shunsui Kyoraku. Her captain.

“You really are disgusting, getting off to watching couples in secret.”

“Oh how cruel you can be Nanao. If anything I am saddened that I do not have a woman such as yourself to share moments like this with.” Shunsui said after jumping down from the tree.

“Maybe you’d have more luck if you were bothering someone else.” she bickered.

“I was only here to watch over you. If things had gotten too steamy your glasses could’ve fogged up and-”

WHACK

Nanao hit her captain over the head with the thick book she always carries around crumpling his straw hat.

Shunsui sighed “You know you’re really burning a hole in my pocket with all the hats you make me replace.”

“Maybe I should try feeding you one then to see if it teaches you a lesson.” Nanao threatened while adjusting her glasses.

“Oh I’m sorry. It seems I’ve gotten lost.” Jushiro said apologetically.

Whatever he was looking for had somehow led him to accidentally opening the door to your office where he found you kissing one of his squad members, Rukia Kuchiki.

“Captain?! I-I was just…” she stammered trying to think of an excuse.

“Don’t worry. You should enjoy yourself.” he calmed her down. “This actually reminds me.”

He reached into his sleeve and pulled out a box of pocky.

“Here. I seem to recall there is some game that can be played with these but I can’t quite remember how it goes.”

Rukia, knowing the game he was referring to, accepted the box with a blush.

“T-thank you captain, you really shouldn’t have.”

“Nonsense, here I have some more.”

Jushiro was giving Rukia various snacks and candies which all seemed to be heart shaped and/or meant to be shared by two people.

“I really should get going now.” Ukitake said after burying Rukia in gifts.

A = Affection (How affectionate are they? How do they show affection?)

Nemu does not have any experience with affection at all. She will spend most of her time just standing behind you, not speaking unless spoken to.

B = Best friend (What would they be like as a best friend? How would the friendship start?)

Nemu’s friendship mostly involves attending the same activities as you and silently standing there.

C = Cuddles (Do they like to cuddle? How would they cuddle?)

Not familiar with what cuddling is at first. When you two try it for the first time you both quickly learn she enjoys being held a lot.

D = Domestic (Do they want to settle down? How are they at cooking and cleaning?)

Nemu is scarily good at cleaning but her cooking is very strange to say the least.

E = Ending (If they had to break up with their partner, how would they do it?)

She would thank you for “participating in the experiment” and promptly never speak to you again.

F = Fiance(e) (How do they feel about commitment? How quick would they want to get married?)

Nemu does not understand marriage. After a thorough explanation from her friends she somehow both knows less about it and knows she would be ecstatic if you proposed.

G = Gentle (How gentle are they, both physically and emotionally?)

Nemu is a bit too gentle and struggles to take a stance even against things she’s very uncomfortable with.

H = Hugs (Do they like hugs? How often do they do it? What are their hugs like?)

She does not know how to initiate hugs despite being a big fan of them. She will just stare at you with a blank expression and her eyes wide open.

I = I love you (How fast do they say the L-word?)

Love is a concept Nemu struggles to understand. Mayuri isn’t helpful, describing it as “hormonal nonsense idiots give too much meaning” and the definitions from her friends at the Shinigami Women’s Association are too varied to be helpful. When she does say it it’s seemingly out of nowhere and delivered in her usual deadpan tone.

J = Jealousy (How jealous do they get? What do they do when they’re jealous?)

Nemu’s jealousy is scary. It is not visible, her outward behavior remains unchanged. Her rivals however always seem to inexplicably get sick the next day.

K = Kisses (What are their kisses like? Where do they like to kiss you? Where do they like to be kissed?)

You learned the hard way that kissing Nemu without warning is very dangerous. God knows what Mayuri is going to stuff her with so it is best to ask before trying anything though she does keep antidotes on her. If you wanted she could ask Mayuri to modify your blood so it’s no longer a problem.

L = Little ones (How are they around children?)

Nemu is very good at taking care of all the physical needs of children. She’d enjoy reading to them. She struggles with the emotional aspects but would never employ her father’s methods.

M = Morning (How are mornings spent with them?)

Nemu likes sleeping in and will keep you in bed as long as you keep believing her excuses.

N = Night (How are nights spent with them?)

She doesn’t need much sleep so staying up late doesn’t pose issues for her.

O = Open  (When would they start revealing things about themselves? Do they say  everything all at once or wait a while to reveal things slowly?)

If you asked about her she’d bring you a very large report from Mayuri. It is heavily redacted as to not give away the secret of her creation but other than that it is very detailed.

P = Patience (How easily angered are they?)

She doesn’t get angry and if she does there’s no way to tell.

Q = Quizzes  (How much would they remember about you? Do they remember every little  detail you mention in passing, or do they kind of forget everything?)

Nemu has an almost photographic memory and can recall details scarily well.

R = Remember (What is their favorite moment in your relationship?)

When Nemu first started getting interested in you she didn’t know what to do about the weird happiness she felt. It was then she remembered her Master telling her “Do as you wish.” and from that moment she was certain what she needed to do.

S = Security (How protective are they? How would they protect you? How would they like to be protected?)

Nemu definitely puts your safety first and foremost. She’d express confusion if you decide to protect her but inside she’s extremely flustered.

T = Try (How much effort would they put into dates, anniversaries, gifts, everyday tasks?)

She definitely tries hard to do nice things for you but she doesn’t really know what to do leading to her seeking help from her friends at the Shinigami Women’s Association which most often ends in shenanigans.

U = Ugly (What would be some bad habits of theirs?)

Nemu is weird in a way that is hard to explain.

V = Vanity (How concerned are they with their looks?)

Her looks had always been dictated by Mayuri so helping her find her own style is going to be a journey.

W = Whole (Would they feel incomplete without you?)

It would be so devastating for her she would be sobbing for weeks and nobody would know what to do since she’s never been that emotional.

X = Xtra (A random headcanon for them.)

Mayuri is suspiciously supportive of Nemu’s relationship. He wouldn’t even do anything invasive outside his usual surveillance bacterium.

Y = Yuck (What are some things they wouldn’t like, either in general or in a partner?)

While she can understand you being uncomfortable around Mayuri she wouldn’t tolerate open hostility from either side.

Z = Zzz (What is a sleep habits of theirs?)

Really wanted to draw artistic nudity again… 🐣💛💛💛 (he/they)

Uncensored on my twitter!

Rooster Sinclair! 🐣🐔

I had to contribute FDSFDS

Full drawing on my twitter!