girl almighty

fuuuuck i just realized that the future idealized version of myself cant exist without current me being the catalyst for change and doing hard things. has anybody heard about this

Whenever an ugly feeling arises in me, maybe resent, greed, insecurity, etc. I just have to laugh and think to myself, this is what being alive is and I don’t deny my capacity for ugliness, in fact I store my faith in it because that same awareness of my own ugliness is the place I go to when I am aware of my own beauty. I have all the time in the world to sort it out, that’s the thing with self trust. I don’t hide from others and I don’t hide from myself, where there is ugliness I observe it and I don’t turn away.

People who deny their own ugliness, turn away from it, find shame in it and then pretend that they aren’t ashamed are the ones with the deepest capacity for cruelty. Time to see yourself clearly and move forward anyways.

i cannot hate myself into a version of me i will love.

i cannot punish myself in any way that will unmake the past.

it’s a great time to be a hater, many things are bad and lots of stuff sucks. it’s also a terrible time to be a hater, because many people will insist that you have to like the bad thing because a company spent millions of dollars making it and it’s just not very nice to say it’s bad

hating is ultimately a philosophy of optimism. the knowledge that things could be better, and the desire to see them improve, differentiates it from the pessimism of idle consumption.

It will in fact get better. And then worse. And then better. Then the best it can get. Then worse. Then the worst it can get. And then better. Hope this helps

everyday I believe more and more that everyone should be able to: make their home an environment that feels beautiful and activating to themselves (knowing and decorating to your taste), have a hobby that sustains their creative mind (cooking, birdwatching, camping, reading, etc), and an avocation that strengthens their body (running, yoga, hiking, rowing, etc)

I love hanif abdurraqib and kaveh akbar SO MUCH

Some of my favorite hobbies are counting my chickens before they hatch, putting all my eggs in one basket, crying over spilled milk, barking up the wrong tree, and above all, doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results

astonishing how good it can feel to get some chores done sometimes. you’ll be sitting there like damn i am some type of horrid little smeagol like creature who should be crushed to death. but then you do some laundry and you’re like wrow. im actually gods most fuckable soldier.

I should be allowed to just say “I adore you” and “I love you” and “I want to keep you in my life for as long as possible” to my friends whenever I want without it being overbearing. I’m thinking it lovingly at people. I’m beaming my overwhelming affection into my friends via undetectable radio waves