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at the farmer's market the baby was pointing at the tomatoes and going ba ba ba and signing "on" so my sister was like "how much for just one tomato" and the person at the stall was like "oh he can have one. don't worry about it" and the baby stood there by the stall devouring the tomato like an apple in big messy bites and people kept stopping and going "awwwww" and then "oh man that does look good" and buying a bunch of tomatoes. all natural organic advertising

as a child there's nothing cooler than a kid who gets subjected to evil experiments and gains special abilities. it's even cooler if these abilities also cause unfathomable suffering to use/against others. children love stories like this.

The children yearn to be Mewtwo

there's a sign at the anti-mutant protest in the first x men movie that reads "send all mutants to the moon forever". STRAIGHT to the point, clear cut solution.

*dirty talking* you’ve been a very bad boy and im just going to straight up kill you now

yeah that’s a common mistake actually, a dusty periwinkle hanky means you like receiving butterfly kisses but that shade of morning mist means you wanna get killed with a pipe wrench

some kids came on the train and saw someone they knew hopping on yhe train at the next station. one of them goes "yo is that gay sam??" and im like ughhh. okay is that what we're doing. and then sam comes over and theyre like GAY SAM WHATS UPP and gay sam is like NOT MUCH IM GOODDD IM FRIED RIGHT NOWW and they were like classic sam. so. thats on me for assuming honestly