[insert Shirley Jackson quote here]

have you guys ever seen a crocodile with its fingies out

once you realize you don’t actually need to sleep, you can really (stops talking abruptly and stares straight ahead for 4 minutes)

guy who wouldn’t even notice they’ve been sex pollened with all the repressed lust they’ve got going on

idk i would personally rather give up access to certain products seasonally or locally than have people enslaved to give me the ability to have any product any place any time. i think i can go without tomatoes in january.

You have to be willing to sit through horrible albums sometimes to look for new music and you might find it impossible but it’s what makes life worth living to me. it takes the discipline of a warrior to be a true music lover not everyone can survive it

I HATTTE ACCIDENTALLY SAYING SOMETHING ONLY THE KILLER WOULD KNOW

No matter how progressive or well-read you are, there are always going to be moments in your life where somebody pushes back against something that's so culturally ingrained you never even considered it before. And you'll say "Huh, it never occurred to me to challenge this but you're right" and that doesn't mean you were "morally toxic" before, it means you're a non-omniscient human capable of growth.

the only place that 'i suffered and because i suffered so should you' belongs is when you see something diabolical or emotionally devastating on the internet so naturally youve gotta call up your best friends

may I respectfully add: "This is awful; try it!" *holds out a food or beverage*

notice how everyones 30 now