this is too much I'm gonna- *remembers joking about rewatching supernatural is harmful* kill myself

Starting a new sports team called the Tampa Bay Trespassers and they play any sport that they can break onto the field of

let me put this in terms you can fucking understand. our toddler, Falco Mewtwo Martinez, “wavedashed” straight into a “stage hazard” because you weren’t fucking watching him.

advertising lemonade is pointless. the human body already knows it needs it

I know we’re all like lawless nonconformists but you really can’t be texting and driving. that’s one of the ones you’ve gotta listen to for real

"1001 movies you have to watch before you die" i have to watch every movie ever made before i die

attention joann's shoppers. there is a freak in the yarn aisle buildinf a nest

attention joann's shoppers. there is a freak in the yarn aisle buildinf a nest

attention joann's shoppers. there is a freak in the yarn aisle buildinf a nest